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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    Did I just shit myself?

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    Fixed for truthiness.
     
    #4041 Kubla Kahn, Dec 20, 2011
  2. Blue Dog

    Blue Dog
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    Absentee Mod

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    "Sweetheart, I LOVE this bowl of butternut-squash soup!" = "Seriously, is that rosemary I detect? Can I have another bowl?"

    ... I'm no good at this game.
     
    #4042 Blue Dog, Dec 20, 2011
  3. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    Man eats cocaine in brother's butt, dies

    Oh Jesus Christ I am in tears. PERFECT headline. Sometimes I am all for the war on drugs. Beautiful.
     
    #4043 CharlesJohnson, Dec 20, 2011
  4. Durbanite

    Durbanite
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    Eeyore

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    I made a new G+ profile thing just for talking to you fools...
    and it's durbanite.tib@gmail.com or you can search for Durbanite TiB

    Time for a scotch. It's so hot here that I am sitting directly under the ceiling fan (on medium setting) and it's having very little effect. The humidity in this city SUCKS. I heard Houston is similar...

     
    #4044 Durbanite, Dec 20, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  5. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    Your wife pushed you off that balcony, didn't she?
     
    #4045 The Village Idiot, Dec 20, 2011
  6. MoreCowbell

    MoreCowbell
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    But he does remember that one time fondly, and really misses it.
     
    #4046 MoreCowbell, Dec 20, 2011
  7. Durbanite

    Durbanite
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    Eeyore

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    Oh, yeah, 12/21 is always a shitty day for me, as it was the day I realised anyone CAN and WILL hurt you or your family in some way for profit (I was 9 at the time) - 12/21/1991 was the day our flat got broken into and all of my mom's jewellery - much of which my dad had made for her - was stolen. Fuck thieves in their dirty AIDS-infested assholes. 4 days before Christmas. I think that was the time I stopped believing in Santa and the "magic" of Christmas.

    Hence why I've broken out the whiskey...
     
    #4047 Durbanite, Dec 20, 2011
  8. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    An OUNCE?!?! Jesus, how geared up was he before the O.D.? I am assuming at least at first it was quite a lift:

    DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE BRO BRO BRO BRO BRO BRO LET'S GO STEAL THE KEYS TO A PLANE AND FLY TO MOROCCO AND START A TRADING COMPANY MAN RUGS AND SPICES, IT'S WORKED FOR CENTURIES JESUS CHRIST IT'S HOT IN HERE DUDE MAN HONESTLY, CALL THE FUCKING COPS I CANNOT FEEL MY LUNGS OR HANDS.
     
    #4048 Crown Royal, Dec 20, 2011
  9. Now Slappy

    Now Slappy
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    Well, I turned 40 yesterday. I guess that makes me old enough to tell those pesky kids to stay the fuck off my lawn. Had a nice day, had cake with the kids and then a couple of glasses(bottles) of wine with the wife while we watched Monday night football.

    Slow day here at the bar so I may just have a couple of beers and head home. We have our staff Christmas party tomorrow night so I may want to lay low tonight. Staff parties are great, and we always throw a good one at Christmas, but as anyone who has worked in a bar/restaurant can attest, it usually devolves in to a shit show. Thursday is going to hurt.
     
    #4049 Now Slappy, Dec 20, 2011
  10. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Yeah, especially since it was crack cocaine.

    Crack. Cocaine. Because it was in his butt. Crack.
     
    #4050 Rush-O-Matic, Dec 20, 2011
  11. suapyg

    suapyg
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    Disturbed

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    I just confirmed a reservation for New Year's weekend at a B&B upstate NY, with a room overlooking a waterfall and a hot tub on the back deck, and the proprietor told me that not only will we be the only guests that weekend, even she and her husband are going out of town for New Year's eve. We'll have the entire house to ourselves.

    I just rented an entire house with a hot tub and a waterfall for New Year's weekend, for $350.
     
    #4051 suapyg, Dec 20, 2011
  12. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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    And then bragged about it on the internet to a bunch of potential party-crashers...

    I hope your deposit isn't too large, is what I'm saying.
     
    #4052 Nom Chompsky, Dec 20, 2011
  13. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Damn son. Can I visit?
     
    #4053 bewildered, Dec 20, 2011
  14. suapyg

    suapyg
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    Disturbed

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    My Momma didn't raise no fools. Y'all are welcome to just search all of upstate NY, if you want to find me.
     
    #4054 suapyg, Dec 20, 2011
  15. Gravitas

    Gravitas
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    .........removed because the crazies are out there.
     
    #4055 Gravitas, Dec 20, 2011
  16. suapyg

    suapyg
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    Disturbed

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    Oops. Okay, what time should we expect you in exchange for shutting up now?
     
    #4056 suapyg, Dec 20, 2011
  17. Durbanite

    Durbanite
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    Eeyore

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    Anyone else getting loaded?

    Or is it just me?

    Fuck.

    Have some more music instead.

     
    #4057 Durbanite, Dec 20, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  18. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    Costs over a thousand bucks to register as a pharmacist. Shit. And 400 of that is because I finished internship training, after already paying 250 to start internship training. What a scam this all is.
     
    #4058 ghettoastronaut, Dec 20, 2011
  19. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    When people whisper, it feels like there are a million bugs crawling right underneath my skin.

    I really, really hate it.
     
    #4059 audreymonroe, Dec 20, 2011
  20. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    I thought you said you liked how James Deen whispered in girls' ear as he was fucking them?
     
    #4060 ghettoastronaut, Dec 20, 2011
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