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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    You can play with him all night long. He's getting old though so he gets tired earlier in the night.
     
    #4221 bewildered, Dec 21, 2011
  2. CharlesJohnson

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    HAHA! Does he go to bed around 7:30, but get up at 4 am to power walk in his cage?

    Does he make smacking noises when he eats?

    Does he request his dinner at 3 in the afternoon then complain about how you don't dress respectable enough?

    Does he wear his fur pants high above his navel?

    Fuck it I need a drink tonight. Who's with me? I've got some Woodford Reserve and some very fine ice cubes.
     
    #4222 CharlesJohnson, Dec 21, 2011
  3. Devils Advocate

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    Disturbed

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    I don't even know what to say about this. This goes right along with vodka soaked raccoons.
     
    #4223 Devils Advocate, Dec 21, 2011
  4. bewildered

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    If he weren't so fucking squirrely I might try and put suspenders on him because seriously, what is cuter than a flying squirrel with PEOPLE CLOTHES? He would freak the fuck out though. I can hardly clip his nails, let alone attach things to his body.
     
    #4224 bewildered, Dec 21, 2011
  5. bewildered

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    Example of the cuteness that I am trying to convey:

    [​IMG]
     
    #4225 bewildered, Dec 21, 2011
  6. Devils Advocate

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    Disturbed

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    Is it sick that I want to poke it in it's big, googly, eyes?
     
    #4226 Devils Advocate, Dec 21, 2011
  7. bewildered

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    .....You're never meeting Abu. Ever.
     
    #4227 bewildered, Dec 21, 2011
  8. JWags

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    So I watched Crazy Stupid Love last night, and no offense to Emma Stone who I find quirky and funny, the babysitter is way more sneaky hot.

    Only further confirmed by her modeling background...

    [​IMG]


    Good god...
     
    #4228 JWags, Dec 21, 2011
  9. shegirl

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    Well that's just mean. You do realize if he manages to poke you back, you're losing that eye right? Just sayin'.
     
    #4229 shegirl, Dec 21, 2011
  10. bewildered

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    And don't forget the fact that he's small enough to burrow into your eye socket once he's sufficiently poked out your orbit.
     
    #4230 bewildered, Dec 21, 2011
  11. Juice

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    Omg you and vermin. If I ever met Abu Id twist his head off as if he were a sour patch kid.
     
    #4231 Juice, Dec 21, 2011
  12. bewildered

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    I LOVE ANIMALS SOOOOO MUCH. Except you. I'd twist your head off like a....like an overgrown zit. Yeah! Watch out buddy!
     
    #4232 bewildered, Dec 21, 2011
  13. CharlesJohnson

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    What the fuck is the matter with you? Just because it's a critter doesn't mean it needs killin' before grillin'.


    Don't forget to suck out the head juice. That's where the flavor is.
     
    #4233 CharlesJohnson, Dec 21, 2011
  14. Juice

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    And then you know what? I'd thread a chain through one ear, through his brain, and out the other and wear it around as a beautiful necklace. Then Id use his headless body as a condom and fuck diseased hookers.
     
    #4234 Juice, Dec 21, 2011
  15. bewildered

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    I'm going to go shower with bleach and cry in the corner now.
     
    #4235 bewildered, Dec 21, 2011
  16. joule_thief

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    Damn, now I'm going to have to try it. Put it in the cooking thread if you do and let us know how it turns out. I won't have a chance to grill until New Years or so.
     
    #4236 joule_thief, Dec 21, 2011
  17. Striding Man

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    Hi guys! The wife is out of town this week, I just cracked my first beer of the night, gonna turn the hawks game on and get loaded. What's goin on here?

    And Abu is a kickass name for a squirrel...those eyes are a little creepy tho.
     
    #4237 Striding Man, Dec 21, 2011
  18. McSmallstuff

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    Alright people. Grilling/killing/torturing peoples pets is wrong. Now get your depraved selves back to more social acceptable pastimes like slicing up street walkers, and leave poor Bewildered alone. Driving people to bleach showers is very not in the spirit of the season. Unless of course it's Tebow. Then game on.
     
    #4238 McSmallstuff, Dec 21, 2011
  19. audreymonroe

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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    Dear Liz Lemon,

    While other women have bigger boobs than you, no other woman has as big a heart. When I saw you getting ready to go out and get nailed by a bunch of guys last night, I knew for sure it was over between us, and for the first time since the '86 World Series, I cried. I cried like a big, dumb homo. And if it was up to me, we'd be together forever. But there's a new thing called "women's liberation," which gives you women the right to choose and you have chosen to abort me, and that I must live with. So tonight, when you arrive home, I'll be gone. I officially renounce my squatter's rights.
     
    #4239 audreymonroe, Dec 21, 2011
  20. GTE

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    Is there any other kind?
     
    #4240 GTE, Dec 21, 2011
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