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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    If they weren't diseased before, they surely would be after.
     
    #4241 bewildered, Dec 21, 2011
  2. dixiebandit69

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    MEGA RAVE:I just got away from a state trooper!

    I was driving home, and there was a big Suburban driving about 40 mph in a 60 zone, and I couldn't see around it. I wanted to pass him, but the oncoming cars were regular enough that I couldn't get a clear, safe shot. Finally there was an opening, so I downshifted into 3rd gear to pass him. What I wasn't expecting was that there were 5 cars in front of him! (remember how I said I couldn't see around him?) So I stepped on the gas to get around all of them before the oncoming traffic got too close.
    By the time I passed all of them, I was going a little over 80, and I took the car out of gear and let it coast back down to the speed limit.

    "Man, it would totally suck if one of those oncoming cars was a State Trooper," I thought.

    None of them were troopers, but right after I thought that, I saw a state trooper in a parking lot, facing out, undoubtedly looking for speeders! (Or maybe he was jerking off; I don't know.)
    I was going about 75 at that time, and knew I was going to get a ticket for speeding and one for driving on a suspended license; I might even get arrested.
    However, because of all the cars I just passed, he couldn't immediately go after me!

    "Oh shit, I'm so fucked!" I thought, but then I saw my oportunity: there was a small neighborhood coming up. I figured that I would just park somewhere and go take a walk for awhile.
    But once I turned into the neighborhood, I saw an even better option: there was an irrigation canal with an access road running next to it! I turned in there and just kept driving until I got to the next road, then went home, and he never found me.
    At least I wasn't drinking.

    I hope it really bothers/perplexes him that I got away. Better luck next time, pig.

    This event call for Monster Magnet!
     
    #4242 dixiebandit69, Dec 21, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  3. joule_thief

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    I love watching Firefly:

    Zoë: Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killin'?

    Book: Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.
     
    #4243 joule_thief, Dec 21, 2011
  4. Blue Dog

    Blue Dog
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    IT IS TIME.





    Contest starts.... Now.
     

    Attached Files:

    #4244 Blue Dog, Dec 21, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  5. $100T2

    $100T2
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    I was standing. She's so much shorter than me (5'3" vs 6'3") that it's nice to pick her up and put her on the counter. Not enough room to get on top of her on the counter, but we've done that on the dining room table.

    Almost pulled the triple header last night, but I was tired and passed out after round two.

    Speaking of sexing the wife, I bought some grain alcohol infused whipped cream. Looking forward to trying that tonight.
     
    #4245 $100T2, Dec 21, 2011
  6. McSmallstuff

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    Good googly moogly this thread is long. Also Blue Dog is a jerk face. I just unselfishly repped him. So of course he starts his contest right after. WHY YOU HATING ON THE BROTHER MR. FREE BOAT?!
     
    #4246 McSmallstuff, Dec 21, 2011
  7. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    Wow, that's one helluva height difference, but I've got you beat: I'm 6'0'', and I used to date a woman who was 4'9". She was a real wildcat too.
    And yes, it's really fun to pick up a small woman.

    This song is hilarious. I saw BR549 play at the Grand Ole Opry when I was 16, and that was my favorite part of the whole trip.
     
    #4247 dixiebandit69, Dec 21, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  8. Dcc001

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    New Bitch On Top

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    Jesus, where are your kids while this is happening? I don't know many couples with 6-year-olds with any alone time.
     
    #4248 Dcc001, Dec 21, 2011
  9. zyron

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    Tonka keeps them busy.

     
    #4249 zyron, Dec 21, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  10. Gravitas

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    [​IMG]
     
    #4250 Gravitas, Dec 21, 2011
  11. Diablo

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    Oh, herro! How's everyone doing tonight? That's fantastic, I'm sitting here drinking my eggnog watching the sattelite try to regain its signal on TV...lucky me! Its not even raining or anything outside, how shitty.
     
    #4251 Diablo, Dec 21, 2011
  12. $100T2

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    They are 7 1/2 and 9 now, and they sleep through thunderstorms, blizzards, the dogs barking, etc. Once they are passed out, it's go time.
     
    #4252 $100T2, Dec 21, 2011
  13. Diablo

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    Jebus H. I've been sitting on the line with dish network tech support while my system does a switch check for the past half hour. I need more booze.
     
    #4253 Diablo, Dec 21, 2011
  14. joule_thief

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    Sooooo, you are going to drink on the plane then?
     
    #4254 joule_thief, Dec 21, 2011
  15. Bundy Bear

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    Travelling done for the day, beer in hand, lets get soem G+ going?

    I had to sit next to the stupidest fat fucking clown ever today. Bitched and moaned when the flight attendant told her she couldn't have her bag because she was in the exit row and then cackled like a drunken witch when she was saying that if we crashed I would open the door cause she couldn't.

    My signature says it all. gene pool needs more chlorine.
     
    #4255 Bundy Bear, Dec 21, 2011
  16. MoreCowbell

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    Ten years in the future:

     
    #4256 MoreCowbell, Dec 21, 2011
  17. Nom Chompsky

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    Honorary TiBette

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    Anybody wanna hang out for a bit?
     
    #4257 Nom Chompsky, Dec 21, 2011
  18. ghettoastronaut

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    I accidentally drove to Quebec today. How embarrassing.
     
    #4258 ghettoastronaut, Dec 21, 2011
  19. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    You always did have a weird way of saying yes.
     
    #4259 Nom Chompsky, Dec 21, 2011
  20. Bundy Bear

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    I'm done for G+.

    Also Sack is a Jim!-Yai

    Music!

     
    #4260 Bundy Bear, Dec 21, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
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