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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. Arctic_Scrap

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    No flamingos were hurt tonight, except for the one I ran over.
     
    #461 Arctic_Scrap, Nov 26, 2011
  2. kuhjäger

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Christ, I changed the bag in my vacuum, and that thing sucks more than a hooker during mardi gras. I accidentally sucked a whole pair of tights into the thing.
     
    #462 kuhjäger, Nov 26, 2011
  3. Popped Cherries

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    The new place I'm working should be the poster child for "How not to run your business using any aspects of six sigma."
    The company probably wastes over 50k a day through the most non-efficient practices.
    I brought this up to my new boss and he just blankly stared at me wondering first what six sigma was, and then asking why I was working an entry level position.

    I've been there for 2 weeks and I can't wait for the spring time so I can go back to running my own business for the warm months. I need to move to a warmer climate so I don't have to deal with snowy months that force me to go back to work for fucking morons.

    With all that said, I'm exhausted and horny. I'd like some of this and that and a few of those...

    edit*fucking sites that 403 hotlinks....such a debacle.
     
    #463 Popped Cherries, Nov 26, 2011
  4. ASL

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    You've got a point. You can also replace white with "smart," and it becomes almost as difficult.
     
    #464 ASL, Nov 26, 2011
  5. ghettoastronaut

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    This hostel lounge has to be the most Canadian room ever. There's a moose head, and a portrait of sir John a macdonald, and heavy wooden furniture, and everything.

    They also have a policy of no Toronto residents. So I had to plead my case that I don't live here anymore because my passport was issued in Toronto. Stupid. But it's so Canadian, they hate people from Toronto. Shit.
     
    #465 ghettoastronaut, Nov 26, 2011
  6. $100T2

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    This is more inline with this board:

     
    #466 $100T2, Nov 26, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  7. scotchcrotch

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Are you sure your boss wasn't being sarcastic when he asked why you are entry level?

    You should be promoted to CEO and turn the company around in your first month! Lemme guess, your own business is landscaping?

    If a two week little shit started spouting management philosophies he read in a text book, his job is about to get a lot harder.

    Unless you have a solid background in their industry, shut the fuck up and learn before you preach.
     
    #467 scotchcrotch, Nov 26, 2011
  8. xrayvision

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Now that I have actual computer access, I present you...


    This is the best I could do without actually being creepy.

    *Oh and I was in the shoe store with my sister and mom and their friends, not because I wanted to. It just ended up being awesome.
     

    Attached Files:

    #468 xrayvision, Nov 26, 2011
  9. CharlesJohnson

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    In the words of Al Bundy, that's low Xray. It's too low, you'll be looking at kneecaps! MOVE IT UP!

     
    #469 CharlesJohnson, Nov 26, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  10. Crown Royal

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Full-contavt football time. Time to get pulvarized by guys much larger than me.

    Then, it's locker room hi-jinks time!
     
    #470 Crown Royal, Nov 26, 2011
  11. bewildered

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Did I just read that Sack o Balls is going to try for a baby sort of soon?

    2012 really will be the end of the world.
     
    #471 bewildered, Nov 26, 2011
  12. mya

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    We have a crappy little fake christmas tree that we put up yesterday. I really wanted to get a real one like I had as a kid and got shot down by my husband. I have such fond memories of it smelling like pine. I also have memories of it shitting pine needles all over the floor, so maybe he has a point.
     
    #472 mya, Nov 26, 2011
  13. MoreCowbell

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Mission still unsuccessful.
     
    #473 MoreCowbell, Nov 26, 2011
  14. kuhjäger

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Tell your husband you won't even get within 3 feet of his dick until there is a real tree in your living room.

    I am not a supporter of women using sex as a weapon/bargaining chip, but desperate times...
     
    #474 kuhjäger, Nov 26, 2011
  15. CharlesJohnson

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Your husband sounds like a kill joy. If only there was some sort of device that created suction in its internal parts; in a vacuum, if you will.

    You get the tree, he gets this. Here is your bargaining tool:

    [​IMG]

    FUCK. I should be a marriage counselor. My logic is irrefutable.
     
    #475 CharlesJohnson, Nov 26, 2011
  16. Parker

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    BONUS: That's some shit. I have a weird thing I wouldn't make-out with a chick one of my friends made out with. Let alone fuck them. My other friends don't have a problem with this, but I find it deplorable. I don't ever want to compare notes about a girl with them having experience. Part of the fun is describing what happened, to have them sit there and be like "I know, she did that to me too!" would fucking ruin it.

    I wouldn't fuck the girl because 1) you could get some of his semen on your penis, and you could get pregnant. I'm an advertising major, don't quote me on that. 2) That's your guy, no matter who he is, or what he says, he'll be pissed when he finds out.
     
    #476 Parker, Nov 26, 2011
  17. kuhjäger

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Ugg, a friend of mine just posted some pictures to facebook of him and his girlfriend. I swear they are in a contest to see who can get fatter faster.

    They each have added at least 20+ pounds a year for the past 4 years.
     
    #477 kuhjäger, Nov 26, 2011
  18. bewildered

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I demand that you to live up to your egotistical ideas. You and FW better have a kid a year until her uterus falls out.
     
    #478 bewildered, Nov 26, 2011
  19. D26

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    This is the last year for my shitty fake tree. It just looks stupid. We have 12 foot ceilings in our living room, why am I putting up a 6 foot tree? Next year, when the wife and I have our kid, we're absolutely getting a real tree. On that note, this day has been a pain. Taking down all the fall decorations and putting up all the Christmas stuff by myself sucks. Plus, putting up the outdoor Christmas lights was awful. Yesterday was 60 and sunny. Today was 40, overcast, and windy. So of course I couldn't put them up yesterday.

    On the bright side, thanks to online shopping, most of my Christmas shopping is already done. I only have a few more things for the wife, and I'm finished.

    Semi-related note: last night we went shopping. We waited until about 6:30 PM, and by the time we got to the stores, they were all but empty. Black Friday is the only Friday night of the year when we can go out to dinner and go shopping without stupidly long waits and lines. At the store? No lines anywhere. At the restaurant? Walked in and sat right down. Everyone is out at Midnight Thursday and they're home sleeping by the time we go out. I'd actually highly recommend it. Every other shopping day between now and Christmas is going to be a clusterfuck. If you have to go out shopping, go out on Black Friday after 6 PM.
     
    #479 D26, Nov 26, 2011
  20. Rush-O-Matic

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Dyson bagless, ftw.

    Speaking of hookers, I never saw the follow up - what happened to Hooker? And, Roxanne?
     
    #480 Rush-O-Matic, Nov 26, 2011
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