The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Hello, idiots. I'm home from dinner and drinks.

I find that the longer I live here, the more time I spend in Deep Ellum. This will only end horribly in a stabbing or gun shot wound.

Why is Kat Dennings hot? I think she looks soft and squishy. She's a bad break-up away from becoming downright porky.

 

She means this (the light is the blue-green hue):

Spoiler

..that one's mine at a few hours old. The picture is probably not far off her actual size.

 

I will answer this question the same way I answer most questions about the opposite sex:

Because tits, TX. Because tits.

 

I had never seen an NICU baby until mine was born. I'd seen newborns before and thought THEY were small at 8 to 10 pounds. Mine was less than 2 when she was born, and her legs were thinner and shorter than my pinky fingers. They don't look real. They look more like cheap, worn-out little dolls. The one next to my daughter in there was born at 1.1 pounds. Yeesh. The NICU is a sad, frightening and mournful place headed by some of the most amazing people you'll ever meet.

 

So you mean she's in the perfect zone? Curvy with plenty to grab on to but young enough/lucky enough that it hasn't started to sag and droop in all the wrong places. It's the type of body that only young girls can pull off and it's fantastic. All the hot older women are thinner and much more angular because it's virtually impossible to keep curvy from turning into porky as you age. We know how rare it is and we admire it because of this. Also, tits. Because of the tits.

 

Both my kids were wrapped in the bilirubin lights. They looked like glow worms until I ate the
acid. Then they looked like something from D&D.

Anyone see Dragon Tattoo yet? Thinking going with the Mrs. This weekend. We saw Sherlock the week beforecChristmas and it was fun. As good as the first.

Our NYE lineup is takeout Chinese, Airplane!, Caddyshack, and if we make it, Rocky. Kids havent seen any of em and wife has only seen Rocky. All 3 still have the plastic wrap on the DVD cases.

 

There are few greater things than someone telling you they had a sex dream about you.

(And before anyone makes a HILARIOUS post, no, it wasn't Ghetto. It was a friend I have sexual tension with.)

 

Our youngest was 3.5 weeks early and she still topped the scale at 9+ lbs.

Why couldn't we have gotten boys? Is a tackle and linebacker too much to ask? R instead, I get to go to choir recitals and Anime Club fundraisers. And up til a few months ago, 3 females all cycling simultaneously, and I don't mean the Tour de France.

 

Hmmm, I have had lots of sex dreams about inappropriate people. Maybe I should give them an ego boost and let them know. My current strategy of blushing, avoiding eye contact, and mumbling uncomfortably seems to be working out quite well, however, so why rock the boat?

 

I guess I just like girls that are a little more athletic. To each his own.

 

All this Dragon Tattoo talk lately. I wish a Western audience embraced the original trilogy wider. It had a theatrical release over here, but if there's one thing people hate over here, it's reading.

Most people over here-- retards, for example-- would prefer DUBBING over subtitles in foreign films. If you are unaware, dubbing occurs by editing over the original language so tinny, hollow and awkward-sounding words emerge from the actors mouths as they flap their lips to a different rhythm. Kind of like 85% of pop singers whenever they tour in concert.

That being said, I still want to see Fincher's version since it's not a film remake but his own filmization of the book. Plus, my OSCAR WINNING boy Trent Reznor did the score. And, Lisbeth is played by that dewdrop roomate from Youth In Revolt Rooney Mara, the one the Indian kid throws his first shot into:

 

Sigh, hostel pub crawl. Did not get laid, did not even get to speak French. Now I wait for a Brooklyn bound train, which I will likely vomit on. Good grief.

 

I always assumed people hated Ballsack for the racism and homophobia. I don't have the energy to hate internet people, and I know that it's just because he has gay jungle fever, but let's not pretend that it's some huge mystery why somebody who calls people "fucking thug niggers" has a few detractors.

 

You know what's weird? When people ask questions and then answer them immediately.

 

I always assumed that line was harsh sarcasm and not meant as racism, not unlike the time I took flack from the shallow when I said the reason people using cellphones in theatres piss me off so much is because they distract me from hearing what the black people are yelling at the screen.

 

On the opposite side of the spectrum, there is nothing weirder than waking up from a sex dream about someone you have no interest in banging and wondering where the hell that came from, and if you really DO want to bang them and never knew it. And then the next time you see them, you're only half listening to what they're saying because you kind of just want to blurt out I HAD SEX WITH YOU IN MY DREAMS.

Dude, my room is either right next to or right above the bathroom you'd be vomiting in, and listening to people vomit is the worst. So, please do it on the train.

Also, I'll try to be your wingwoman tomorrow and/or New Year's, and I promise to be a better wingwoman than I was to Double You Tee Eff. Or at least try to be better. Even though I WAS doing well right until the end.

Seriously.

 

In order for sarcasm of that sort to be effective, it has to be quite clear you're joking. Ballsack hasn't earned that benefit. Not that his time mocking the purchasing decisions of the 4 black people he's seen in Kansas doesn't qualify him for an NAACP image award, it's just hard to pull off.

Also, your comment actually had an ironic commentary. It wasn't just an angry slur.

I really don't hate Ballsack, and I wish him happiness with his fiance. I'm sure they'll find it though, she fucks like a champ. I was walking bowlegged the entire next day.