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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    IM GONNA KARATE THIS MOUTHY FUCKER SITTING NEXT TO ME I SWEAR TO SATAN. This one upping dink in wearing my buzz thin.
     
    #5761 Crown Royal, Jan 1, 2012
  2. Gravitas

    Gravitas
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    The Dane Cook of martial arts?

    You're better than that.
     
    #5762 Gravitas, Jan 1, 2012
  3. GTE

    GTE
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    I'm concerned that you got more batter laden weiners then beers.
     
    #5763 GTE, Jan 1, 2012
  4. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    I'm at a friend's house. Somehow everyone began singing "Red Solo Cup." I may or may not have instigateed it.

    Thank God my house is within stumbling distance. I just need to wander through the woods and navigate a couple ditches to get home. I wish I had my night vision goggles, those might come in handy tonight.
     
    #5764 toytoy88, Jan 1, 2012
  5. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    Happy New Year from the Asshole of Texas, idiots. Li'l Bandit and I just got back from the in-laws' house after an evening of blowing stuff up. Luckily there were no fireworks-related injuries this year.

    When we were ready to leave, Li'l Bandit asked me if his armpits smelled, and I bent down to smell them, not expecting anything from a 10 year old.
    HO-LEE SHIT. The vapors coming from his armpit singed my nose hairs off!
    You know how it feels when you get water up your nose in the swimming pool? It was kind of like that.
    My body didn't start making smells like that until I was in my teens! Time for him to start using an industrial grade deoderant/anti-perspirant.

    My New Year's Resolution this year: Get my Driver's License back and not get arrested again. That seems like a pretty realistic goal.

     
    #5765 dixiebandit69, Jan 1, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  6. Dread

    Dread
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    Disturbed

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    Happy two thousand and whatever, you fucking Idiots.

    It legitimately took me... Like... 3 minutes to type this post. I'm THAT trashed.
     
    #5766 Dread, Jan 1, 2012
  7. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    Come clean mine! Seriously.

    Is it wrong to keep my new years hat on for fucking?
     
    #5767 Angel_1756, Jan 1, 2012
  8. fleafly

    fleafly
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    Disturbed

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    Happy new year idiots!
     
    #5768 fleafly, Jan 1, 2012
  9. GTE

    GTE
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    7.0 earthquake in Japan. The mayans might be on to something.
     
    #5769 GTE, Jan 1, 2012
  10. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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    Happy new years! Give em hell in 2012 tibbers.
     
    #5770 Nom Chompsky, Jan 1, 2012
  11. FreeCorps

    FreeCorps
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    #1 Internet Boo

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    So my NYE was spent going to a small house party where my friend, post NYE kiss, awkwardly professes her up until know apparently hidden affection for me. To which I responded "I guess we shouldn't sleep together for a while".
    Now I'm home. And sober since I was driving and was trying to be responsible. Neat.
     
    #5771 FreeCorps, Jan 1, 2012
  12. Parker

    Parker
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    Welcome back. With another segment on New Orlean's here is Parker: "Thank you. If you're not watching a fat black 40+ year old woman failing to ride a bull at 1:00am with more stretch marks than one of those Armstong toys, you aren't celebrating properly. New Orlean's has more ugly, fat, disgusting people doing more shit out of their league than Jersey Shore or any Housewives of Bumblefuck show. Anyone could enjoy this shit sober, but why would you?"

    Back to you in the studio Caroline...
     
    #5772 Parker, Jan 1, 2012
  13. dieformetal

    dieformetal
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    Hurricanes Are My Bitch

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    The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

    Just saw Red Dawn for the first time. JESUS CHRIST this movie is awesome! Whiskey's gone, going to bed now.
     
    #5773 dieformetal, Jan 1, 2012
  14. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Am I the only one that found this line horribly disturbing?
     
    #5774 toytoy88, Jan 1, 2012
  15. Winterbike

    Winterbike
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    Experienced Idiot

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    Pretty drunk right now, wish you all a merry good 2012 year yay yay!!!

    EDIT: I'm a drunk idiot. Still, I love you all, this board is awesome.
     
    #5775 Winterbike, Jan 1, 2012
  16. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    Just set off the fireworks.

    Everyone got all excited when I pulled the 12 gauge out of my truck and fired off a few rounds into the sky. Seriously, they should all know I'm armed and drunk.
     
    #5776 toytoy88, Jan 1, 2012
  17. Gravitas

    Gravitas
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    2012 is off to a fucking bang. I just spent two hours trying to look for and trying to guess the wireless password here at work.
     
    #5777 Gravitas, Jan 1, 2012
  18. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    i'm drunk, yall
    Just got home from the bar. I found a cute i-banker to make out with That was fun. HOwever. I am still drunk. I did not mean to get to this point.
     
    #5778 TX., Jan 1, 2012
  19. Bundy Bear

    Bundy Bear
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    Not at all, I'd go as far as to say it is encouraged.
     
    #5779 Bundy Bear, Jan 1, 2012
  20. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    accidentky cut my hand in the ladies room. Qhy di guys assume you want to fuck them if you say you're going to the bathroom? This guy followed me in when Kk I aNtes to di wad pee
     
    #5780 TX., Jan 1, 2012
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