The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

If you made nerdy, biology-inspired bikinis I would definitely buy one! I have a t-shirt that says, "I (anatomic heart) my cadaver," and I love it! I want to make a "I (anatomic heart) cream cheese" or something equally unhealthy and fatty.

 

My new year's was so ridiculously amazing that I don't even want to tell you about it for fear that you'll all feel bad you weren't doing exactly what I was doing. Except maybe pimptress.

 

January 1, 2012 top headline in the Ft. Worth Star-Telegram:

"Texas Still No. 1 for Death Penalty".

I find this disturbing because:

1. It's as if it's a contest and dammit, nobody's gonna beat Texas when it comes to executions.
2. This is the top story on the front page as in, "This is the most important news of the day you need to know."

On a brighter note, Kroger's has lobster tails for $5.99 each.

 

Maybe the Dallas Morning News is more upbeat and relevant?

I've moved from the bed to the couch. I am trying to motivate myself to eat. It just sounds like too much of a hassle/not worth it.

 

I'm sitting here wrapped in a very soft blanket. It's all I can do not to say "fuck it", go back to bed and deal with not sleeping before work tomorrow.

It's just marginally less difficult to summon the will to get up and pour another cup of coffee.

 

It's been a while...






Enjoy.

 

Here is the attention you seek.

Now that you have that give us the story.

 

Anyone know an easy way to find bars playing particular sports game? Like a site where I could say "I want bars in New York City showing the Celtics game on 1/1/2012" and see the results?

 

It's not a bikini, but it close enough:

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.cafepress.com/+heart_biology_womens_boy_brief,429706045" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.cafepress.com/+heart_biology ... ,429706045</a>

 

So, when my bed broke last night, I assumed that I would just have to push the frame back together in the morning when I was sober enough to deal with it.

Nope.

My bed frame is completely broken. I don't have a bed right now. I am so annoyed. At least it broke in a good way, but god damn I do not feel like looking for a new bed right now, especially when it needs to be free. Or, like, five dollars.

Not sure if it's a good or bad sign for the new year.

I have all of the greasy food and a lot of movies and TV-watching lined up. Best day.

 

So my roommate met one of the craziest girls either of us have ever encountered last night. After aggressively coming onto him and making out with him at midnight, she alternated between seemingly looking to hook up with him and being verbally abusive. For example, while making out at the bar, she shoves her hand down his pants out of nowhere and says, and i quote, "yep, that will do". So at this point, he's understandably feeling pretty good. Then she tells him "I'm not gonna go home with you cause you're an asshole." (Mind you, he's a really good dude and had done nothing out of line till that point) The next hour vacillated back and forth in that fashion culminating in us all walking out together, them hand in hand, and her, without a word, slapping him in the face as we are hailing a cab and walking away...without shoes. I honestly had no words. Its probably better she didn't come back cause she may have murdered him once he fell asleep.

Additionally, fuck girls with boyfriends who still feel the need to dance skanky and downright filthy for the better part of an hour complete with crotch massaging. If I had a gf that was out doing that, id be back on the market rather quickly.

 

And we're going to the store to get more weapons today. Glad Wal-Mart is open every goddamn day of the year.

You know, this Nerf gun stuff is basically the same mentality behind the Cold War; somebody gets a much, much better weapon, and next thing you know, we're building warheads.

 

Love it!

I'm watching a movie with Kat Dennings, and I retract my earlier comments regarding her attractiveness. She IS hot.

 

Great tits, too.

 

I've spent my entire New Year's weekend experience snorting Afrin, doing Nyquil and drinking tea. Ms. James and I essentially slept through the actual New Year. And then I woke up this morning and saw her fucking dog take a shit in 3 different spots in 10 minutes.

Fuck this year already.

 

Also, the guy somehow left his winter jacket here. If I want to hang out with him again, at least I have a compelling argument to come see me. Although I kind of like the jacket...

Are there any blonde TiBettes?

 

Just ghettoastronaut, I think.

 

Met a nice Canadian girl at the hostel two nights ago and we went sightseeing the next day. From about 11:00 clear through 6:00 I don't think there was even a five second lull in conversation. Where most people get bored by my useless trivia and fun facts, she loved them. Spent over an hour eating lunch just because we couldn't stop talking. We walked through lower Manhattan, across the Brooklyn Bridge and watched the sun set over the skyline. Then sat below the Brooklyn Bridge watching the city light up.

She invited me to ring in the new year with some of her New York friends. Her friends only knew me as "another Canadian I met at the hostel" but they welcomed me in with open me arms, giving me beer and whisky at their apartment in Brooklyn, and joking and laughing as though I wasn't a complete stranger in their home. We went up to a swanky condo in Williamsburg and watched fireworks spring up along the midtown skyline from the top floor balcony. Made out with the nice Canadian girl.

I crashed at their place, woke up early, went to the local corner store, and stocked their fridge with the finest of Canadian beer.

 

2012, kiddies. The year they predict that Roland Emmerich will unapologetically steal 2.5 hours of our life, never to get them back again.

 

Ok wait, I'm sorry, I took a nap and missed the conversation I wanted to have which is this: Gravy, who are these girls who are discussing their blowjobs with you but not willing to put out?