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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. TX.

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    The Mad Pooper

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I hate Wal-Mart. Target rocks, though.

    Whenever I've walked out of a wal-mart I've wanted to gouge my eyes out with a spork due to wal-mart people walking 4 abreast at an elephantine pace.
     
    #601 TX., Nov 27, 2011
  2. CharlesJohnson

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Last time I went to Walmart was probably my last. I've never wanted a bath so bad. Stock out of order and thrown everywhere. Filthy floor. The store exists in this sheen of film barely a step up from the bathroom from Saw, all lit unflatteringly in a bath of halogen light. It smelled like bad fruit and human sweat and Subway; any of those are bad enough on their own. This was a Super Walmart. Place was trashed. You could tell nobody there, including the staff, had one modicum of respect for the joint. That kind of shit bugs me. Yeah, it's a cheap-ass place, but conduct yourself in public properly.
     
    #602 CharlesJohnson, Nov 27, 2011
  3. bewildered

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    THAT'S the Ballsack I remember.
     
    #603 bewildered, Nov 27, 2011
  4. McSmallstuff

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Yes, why in the fuck is the sports world acting as if Tebow is the second coming, and the Broncos' savior?
     
    #604 McSmallstuff, Nov 27, 2011
  5. TX.

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I live near downtown where both Target and Wal-Mart are hard(er) to come by. I wouldn't make a 20 minute drive for WM. I might for Target. CostCo is even farther than that. Another reason I loathe Suburbia: there are superstores on every corner.
     
    #605 TX., Nov 27, 2011
  6. ghettoastronaut

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I've never had a quick check-out from a Wal-Mart. This would range from Wal-Marts in rural Quebec to Toronto. There's always some fucking moron ahead of you who has a problem of some kind, or can't for the life of him figure out how to use a debit or credit card.

    And the screaming children. Oh lord, the screaming children.
     
    #606 ghettoastronaut, Nov 27, 2011
  7. dixiebandit69

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    MEGABLOCKS?!

    You known Crown, up until now, I thought you were a good parent.
    You actually buy that second-rate crap for your daughter? I thought she was special to you.

    It's Legos or nothing for Li'l Bandit. And he makes such great things with them:

     
    #607 dixiebandit69, Nov 27, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  8. GTE

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    8 beers deep and heading out to watch the Steelers game and eat buffalo wings. The GF going to hate me in a bit and then a lot later when my wing farts blow her out of bed.
     
    #608 GTE, Nov 27, 2011
  9. D26

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    The problem with checking out at Walmart is that everyone is there to get shit as cheaply as possible, which means they will argue, haggle, and straight up lie to get 20 cents off that can of chili or whatever other shit they're buying. I've yet to be in a Walmart line behind someone who didn't start screaming "no! no! That was cheaper! That rang up wrong! I wouldn't have bought it if I knew it cost $2.39 instead of $2.20!" They'll claim all the signs say it costs 50 cents cheaper than it rang up, even if it is bullshit, just to try to get that minor, remote savings. Usually, they'll fight and argue until the cashier gets sick of it and calls a manager (who just takes the 50 cents off just to get things moving).

    That is the worst part of Walmart. I can deal with everything else, but the fact that people will go there and haggle with the cashier to save ten cents on stuff drives me insane.
     
    #609 D26, Nov 27, 2011
  10. dixiebandit69

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    This is one of the many reasons why I shop at H-E-B (it's a Texas-only chain). Also, the local Walmarts always seem to have longer checkout lines.
     
    #610 dixiebandit69, Nov 27, 2011
  11. Parker

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    In Chicago, there is a place called The Pink Monkey. It is a stripclub. I have not been to Vegas, or many stripclubs but this one was amazing. Topless, BYOB, all the girls were hot except for one with funny fake tits. I had a tit put into my mouth. I'm still hungover, I'm sure more details will come eventually, somewhere on this board. Great fucking night.
     
    #611 Parker, Nov 27, 2011
  12. jordan_paul

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Had a wild night last night. I was tripple fisting double Jack and Gingers all night until I passed out. I had $140 in my wallet when I went out, came back with 15 bucks and change. I bought a few close friends a drink, but I still find it hard to believe I drank 15 doubles. I got pretty sloppy though, girls I was two stepping with in the beginning of the night wouldn't even look at me a the end. Also lost my $150 dollar jacket and $40 dollar hat. Pretty expensive night.
     
    #612 jordan_paul, Nov 27, 2011
  13. FreeCorps

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Got back in from a weekend in a resort in Islamorada, with a visit to Key West thrown in. I feel fat and happy. Saturday night was the best, went to this place called the Islamorada Fish Co., ate dolphin stuffed with crab and drank a whole lot, followed by beach sex. All in all not a bad way to spend a weekend.
     
    #613 FreeCorps, Nov 27, 2011
  14. Gravitas

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    What?

    I knew Canadians had an extra bone in their hand, but I had no idea you all had three hands to begin with.
     
    #614 Gravitas, Nov 27, 2011
  15. McSmallstuff

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    A bottle in the dominant hand, two bottles in the off hand. One for wandering about the bar. One for your trip back for refills. And one for the wait in line at the bar. This was the system I employed until I realized that unless it is a great bottle special, pitchers are far and away cheaper.
     
    #615 McSmallstuff, Nov 27, 2011
  16. audreymonroe

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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I'm going to talk about something important now.

    I know that it's trendy these days to think hedgehogs are cute, and they are:

    [​IMG]

    But why don't people think porcupines are cute? Their size just makes them look like a fluffier version of a hedgehog, when you ignore that that size is made up on pokey needles, and when you don't ignore that then they're like these badass punk rockers of the animal world. Also, they waddle, and waddling's adorable.

    [​IMG]

    Also, they make silly noises.



    (I suggest skipping 30 seconds in to cut down on listening to the annoying baby talk of the woman holding the camera, who treats a porcupine way too much like a human.)
     
    #616 audreymonroe, Nov 27, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  17. katokoch

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I think the needles are a little more than pokey... Google up dog + porcupine and the results are considerably different than dog + hedgehog.
     
    #617 katokoch, Nov 27, 2011
  18. Dcc001

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Evidently, if your dog gets a face full of porcupine quills what you should do is cut the ends off and wait a little bit. Story I've heard is that the quills are inflated with air, to a degree, and if you cut them they shrink. Then, maybe, you can remove them yourself and save thousands of dollars in vet fees.

    Anyone needs a remedy to get rid of the smell of skunk, PM me. The things you learn when you have dogs.
     
    #618 Dcc001, Nov 27, 2011
  19. BadBrains

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Ehem..
     
    #619 BadBrains, Nov 27, 2011
  20. katokoch

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I haven't dealt with either dog scenarios and pray that I don't have to.
     
    #620 katokoch, Nov 27, 2011
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