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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. katokoch

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I don't know how it reflects on me to be making a Sunday night errand run picking up beer and super glue (I swear it's not what you think), but I guess it means I'm posting in the right place.
     
    #621 katokoch, Nov 27, 2011
  2. dubyu tee eff

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    Thinks he has a chance with Christina Hendricks...

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I didn't get randomly selected and I didn't get married. Put this Thanksgiving into the win column.
     
    #622 dubyu tee eff, Nov 27, 2011
  3. Nom Chompsky

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Why are you wearing boxers?

    I never go to Wal-mart, because there's never been a walmart near where I live. I'm perfectly happy getting t-shirts and such at Old Navy though.
     
    #623 Nom Chompsky, Nov 27, 2011
  4. Sully

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    If the only obstacle preventing you from crawling out of the ninth circle of superstore Hell is a socially maladjusted shopper then you should thank your god(s) of choice that the corporate sadists that run your friendly neighborhood Walmart at least made a good faith effort to facilitate your exit from their demon shrine of capitalism in a somewhat efficient and/or compassionate manner.

    I say this because any time I've been unfortunate enough to require purchasing discount Chinese-made goods from their grubby hands they've added an hour to my five-minute torture session by staffing only two of their several dozen checkout lines even as the queues of mulleted patrons spill into the misses' clothing department.

    It's no small wonder why the world hates us when we've spawned from the very Armpit of America (TM) a multinational corporation whose idea of cost-efficiency is pitting a brace of minimum-wage cashiers against an army of trailer trash who have had the audacity to attempt to pay them money and/or food stamps for their wares in a timely fashion.
     
    #624 Sully, Nov 27, 2011
  5. Rush-O-Matic

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I buy lots of things at Walmart. They have better prices on things I would be buying elsewhere, and they are more convenient than Target, Sears, Momandpops or where ever else all you haters are expecting me to buy things. I'm not buying khakis and dress shirts there, or a Dewalt reciprocating saw, but for other stuff? Yup. Also, on the checkout complaints - do you guys not have self checkouts? It never takes me long to checkout and I consider myself very impatient.
     
    #625 Rush-O-Matic, Nov 27, 2011
  6. ASL

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Wal Mart makes me sad, especially later in the evening/night. I was there the other day to pick up something and the people in front of me in line decided that once they put their wares (a large ham and one can of pineapple) onto the registers belt, they no longer needed to worry about their cart. So, I kindly moved it for them as they waddled away.
    It was one of those moments you wish you could just grab a bat and smack 'em a few times.

    And at night the self-checkout's are closed and there are 2/23432 other registers open.
     
    #626 ASL, Nov 28, 2011
  7. Gravitas

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Today at Wal-Mart was the fastest check out experience in month.

    I'm a terrible cash-register roulette player.

    If I don't pick the retarded cashier who moves at about the speed Joe Paterno reports sexual abuse I get the customer who has to pay for their stuff with seventeen different forms of payment.

    Still, we drive the 60 miles to do it on the regular. Because isolated small towns charge firstborns for frosted flakes.
     
    #627 Gravitas, Nov 28, 2011
  8. zyron

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Do you honestly think the retards that shop at Walmart can work a self checkout machine? I would rather be in a grocery store self checkout line behind a couple of 100 year olds with a basket of fruit with no bar-codes on it.
     
    #628 zyron, Nov 28, 2011
  9. Kampf Trinker

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Well, they certainly seem to lack the confidence to do so, which is why I love self-checkouts. A lot of the time there isn't even a line. It beats standing behind the Mexican lady who's feeding a family of ten.
     
    #629 Kampf Trinker, Nov 28, 2011
  10. Juice

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    Yeaaaaaahhh Buddy!
     
    #630 Juice, Nov 28, 2011
  11. CharlesJohnson

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    [​IMG]

    Season's greetings, mother fuckers.
     
    #631 CharlesJohnson, Nov 28, 2011
  12. shimmered

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    Is it irresponsible to honestly consider spending the latter half of my workday drinking egg nog and rum?
     
    #632 shimmered, Nov 28, 2011
  13. Trakiel

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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I usually love the self-checkout stations but one thing I wish they'd add is a quantity button, so if I'm buying something in bulk I can just say how many I'm buying and scan one item instead of each one individually.

    Though that's probably intentioally absent because I'm sure the retailers know that most customers are very stupid and wouldn't be able use it properly.
     
    #633 Trakiel, Nov 28, 2011
  14. TX.

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    Back in the day my roommate and I used to shop at 11 pm on a weeknight just because there aren't any crowds. It never failed, every time we went (about once a week or two) there'd be a Mexican family with about 8 kids running around....shoeless. Ok, maybe the parents work all day and they don't want to leave the kids home alone. Whatever. But, to go into a store without shoes? That's just nasty. I bet those kids have Foot AIDS.

    Bah. Back to reality. At least we got to sleep in! First class is at 10.
     
    #634 TX., Nov 28, 2011
  15. Frank

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    My friends and I use to go to just do random stuff in high school and college, we got kicked out once for playing hide and go seek.
     
    #635 Frank, Nov 28, 2011
  16. Rush-O-Matic

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    To consider it? No.

    To actually do it? That depends . . . do you have to drive, operate heavy machinery, control belay for someone else, or guard nuclear weapons? If not, go for it. It's the holidays - everyone will understand.
     
    #636 Rush-O-Matic, Nov 28, 2011
  17. Angel_1756

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    So, some pretty crazy fucking windstorms hit Calgary yesterday. Anyone know if our western-Canadian contingent made it through okay? Did everyone hunker down at Queen-Bee's?

    No joke - hope everyone's okay.
     
    #637 Angel_1756, Nov 28, 2011
  18. joule_thief

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    Considering I have been drinking Irish coffee this morning? Nope, not irresponsible, but you have to remember to use your powers only for good.
     
    #638 joule_thief, Nov 28, 2011
  19. Popped Cherries

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    We used to ride the bikes around the toy section at 2am when the super walmart opened, followed by harassing whoever was working the 24hr drive thru at Dunkin Donuts. It took us about 6 or 7 trips before someone could tell us exactly what a bear claw was.

    Remembering back, I was such a douche as a teenager. It's almost forgivable when you see kids running around today and they are clueless and think they've got the whole world figured out.
     
    #639 Popped Cherries, Nov 28, 2011
  20. Flagrant

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    A few highlights of my NYC trip this weekend included making my girlfriend squirt, getting hammered 3/4 nights, having a 10 drink (and a pizza) tab be 36$. One morning consisted of me lying in bed hungover while my girlfriend went to the store, got me coffee, tylenol and hash browns, and then came back and gave me a blowjob, which was the best Hangover cure I have ever received. I also got Christmas shopping done and out of the way (some of that was this morning though, thank you Amazon), more sex, two Thanksgiving dinners, the second with Bacon stuffing, which was awesome. Lastly the girl and I had to watch her younger cousins, age 5 and 9, so we went to the Muppet movie, which could have been worse. All in all though, it was an awesome weekend.

    On a side note, Friendly's food STILL tastes like soggy shit.
     
    #640 Flagrant, Nov 28, 2011
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