The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

"Honey, look, I know it seemed like I was sticking my dick in the babysitter, but it wasn't really me. It was my biological imperative."

Let's run through some things he/she said. I mean, how is this a sentence that makes sense?

Yeah, why would we stigmatize someone who acts deceptively and in bad faith when there are couples mutually agreeing that their current arrangement isn't working?!

He then compares cheating on ones partner to eating a Snickers bar, and also says the following:

Which is clear burden shifting. Then the woman asking the questions begins a question with:

Sounds like someone has had shitty sex in relationships and is generalizing. I mean, shit, look at $100T2's posts.

Yeah, monogamy might not be strictly "natural." Neither are many other of our customs, such as laws, government, technology, etc.. The naturalistic world that evo psych types fetishize was a kind of shitty place: brutish, tremendously unfair, etc. Sure, guys could have sex with whatever women they wanted....if they could beat up her other suitors, toss her over their shoulder, and carry her away.

This guy, like too many open relationship advocates, takes something that a minority of people want and/or have the psychological disposition for, and insists that society should be like this. I have nothing against open relationships, I'm sure they work for plenty of people (like scootah). But it's laughable to think they're going to work for human kind at large.

 

OOOH, me me me! I was at work and couldn't write a long detailed response then and am now much too lazy, but poly relationships make SO much sense to me. You have the person you love the most and is your bestest friend or whatever, but then you also get to have the guys who you met in the bar and smell amazing and you want to fuck, or the guy from the gym who's casually around, etc. It also seems like, as long as no one is rabidly jealous, this extends the life of your primary relationship.

AND personal experience suggests that a lot of jealousy comes from trying to prevent wandering eyes. If you just accept/embrace them, so much less drama and tension and so much more sex.

 

Yeah, but calling it "Why Men Need to Cheat" is Huffpo trying to churn up pageviews. Which is annoying as fuck, but how the internet works.

 

Two things.

1) Do you think that women aren't thinking about sex with other men all the time? Because we are, and that never seems to be acknowledged, which is part of why I think this is so ideal.

2) Could someone please explain why your wife having sex with another man would bother you, but with a woman wouldn't at all? Is it because you don't have those bits? Because you think there's no chance of her discovering she's been a lesbian/bi all along and leaving? I don't get this. The argument is what, that fulfillment of your fantasy trumps the jealousy?

 

Gee, a website that's been known to publish anti-vaccine bullshit fails to live up to the purest ideals of journalistic integrity in other departments as well? Colour me shocked.

 

I think it's something that most men are just psychologically ingrained with. Who knows how much of that is social (there's a fair bit of "ownership" language surrounding heterosexual relationships, and it usually goes predominantly in one direction) and how much is biological ("If anyone is gonna be filling my woman up with babies, it's gonna be me!"). I don't think it's a "rational" argument (and if so, it's a fairly heterosexist one. "But same sex doesn't count!") as much as it is a gut reaction that many guys have.


These arguments too often seem to assume that people easily can and should embrace one natural urge (the urge to bone everything, specifically amongst males) while paradoxically assuming that the equally natural urge regarding jealousy and parental certainty is some triviality that be casually tossed aside.

 

I wonder how many of the ladies would be more ok with their guys sleeping with other guys?

 

I'm heard a surprising number of women who are at least in word supportive of LGBTQ rights and think experimentation is awesome on their end but would steadfastly refuse to date someone they knew to have slept with another man. This confuses the hell out of me. Ladies, thoughts?

Edit:

This doesn't seem right to me at all. They lie largely because they violated the rules of their relationship. Sure, in some cases those rules shouldn't have been there in the first place. But in plenty of cases, people are shitty, and will do bad things if they can get away with it.

Where you see repressive social restraints, I see just as much selfishness and hubris ("Well I shouldn't, but I can. So I will.") Your version, especially considering your general attitudes towards human nature in some of your older posts, strikes me as oddly charitable to the individual.

 

Given clean STD/HIV tests, I think it's all hunky dory.

Which, to clarify, is how I feel about men who have not slept with other men, as well.

 

That sound you hear is ghetto breathing a sigh of relief.

 

I don't find watching guys I don't know make out a turn on, but I find the idea of two guys I do know make out (up to the point of blowjobs) a turn on. I don't know what the difference is. I've suggested it to past boyfriends/etc but FOR SOME REASON none of them were into it.

 

I've noticed the same thing on OKCupid. There's a question about whether or not you'd date someone who's had a homosexual sexual experience and just about every woman I've seen answer that question said they wouldn't, and these are also women who otherwise are pretty firmly on the left of things and support GLBT rights and lifestyles.

 

This was actually exactly what I was thinking of as I typed the previous post. What you described has been the trend in profiles I've seen, and seems ass-backwards. It's sort of a Not In My Backyard (see what I did there?) attitude for homosexuality and bisexuality: "It's all well and good, but not with MY partners."

 

One of my sexual goals is to bang a bi dude. I've had it in my head since I came very, very close to doing so last Fall and he was awesome at everything (independently of being bi, I'm sure, but still). The hotness of that particular instance had a lot of layers, though, because he was in the army and was bi in secret up until the night before I met him when DADT was repealed so it was like the plot of a porn. But anyway. I would like to experience that again. I think they'd bring the best of both worlds, sexually, if we're speaking in generalities.

And you know what, if another man joins in then SO BE IT. We'd both be happy.