Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Page 33 of 356
  1. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    401
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    3,974
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    [​IMG]

    This picture blows my mind.

    "Dude. Office Depot has 1000 count staple packs on sale at 3am."

    "Mother fucking construction paper sale?! I'll get the tent and the pepper spray."

    (I'm well aware they sell other stuff. Fuck you anyway.)
     
    #641 CharlesJohnson, Nov 28, 2011
  2. shimmered

    shimmered
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    351
    Joined:
    May 12, 2010
    Messages:
    4,469
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    Fair enough.
    And, to answer the previous question, no I do not have to provide safety, handle any sharp objects, or drive heavy machinery. My job today consists of coaching a specific movement and then saying "GO!" while they do burpees and pullups.
     
    #642 shimmered, Nov 28, 2011
  3. Flagrant

    Flagrant
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2009
    Messages:
    276
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    I know we had a theme song thread, but I feel like this should be posted here anyway.



    I have a man crush on Frank Turner.
     
    #643 Flagrant, Nov 28, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  4. Primer

    Primer
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    933
    Location:
    Edmonton, AB - The frozen suck.
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    I'm just curious who took my picture.
     
    #644 Primer, Nov 28, 2011
  5. Diablo

    Diablo
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    5
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,608
    Location:
    Armpit, NC
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    And so the Third Annual Christmas Drunk Thread has begun... I wonder what will become of it this year.

    Maybe someone will finally win that boat...
     
    #645 Diablo, Nov 28, 2011
  6. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    70
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    4,917
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    See how the mother on the left is covering her kid's eyes and pulling him away while she looks on with her mouth gaping open and a look that says "I need to look horrified to project the image that I don't want to see this, but in reality, I really want to see this"? That's got to be the best metaphor for society I've ever seen. She's not holding her kid to protect her kid from Santa Claus' junk, she's holding him to keep him from seeing that mommy really wants to look.
     
    #646 ghettoastronaut, Nov 28, 2011
  7. Queen-Bee

    Queen-Bee
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    31
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    609
    Location:
    Edge of Canada
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD


    Awww, Angel, aren't you a dear!

    Given that winds reached as high as 150km/hr, surprisingly no one was injured. The core of the downtown was shut and blocked off because of glass blowing out. All over the city trees were downed, causing much property damage and power outages. The lightrail transit was halted. Debris is everywhere, so driving was a hazard. The warning system on radio and television kicked in to tell people to stay inside and away from windows.

    South of the city was worse. Their damage included semis being tossed around the highway, grain silos falling over and acting like missiles and a huge fire requiring evactuations around Lethbridge.

    As for me, part of my already broken fence blew down. I was thinking of starting a telethon for that. I wonder if Mr. Lewis is available to give me some tips (is he alive?).

    I spent the entire storm laying on the couch whining about missing work due to the whole fainting/wobbly thing that turned up this weekend. I HATE missing work - I feel like a pussy and that I let everyone down. One bonus that I stayed home; I didn't have to deal with what would have been the worst hair day ever. Curly hair does not bounce back and can't be combed into place. Lemonade people, lemonade.
     
    #647 Queen-Bee, Nov 28, 2011
  8. Gravitas

    Gravitas
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,905
    Location:
    somewhere vaguely rapey
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk.. ZOMG!!!1! & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    I was listening to some explosions in the sky on youtube and this was a related video:



    So I followed it down the youtube rabbit hole. I am here to report to you that hula hooping hasn't died and may be making a comeback.

    Hippies weird me out.
     
    #648 Gravitas, Nov 28, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  9. Gravitas

    Gravitas
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,905
    Location:
    somewhere vaguely rapey
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk.. ZOMG!!!1! & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    One of my teachers in high school showed us a documentary on Woodstock.

    I vividly remember footage of two things.

    1. Some creeper trying to convince some girl to give some free love because like man it's love man and you know it should be free and feels good ya know?

    2. A naked guy holding and rocking back and forth with a sheep.
     
    #649 Gravitas, Nov 28, 2011
  10. bewildered

    bewildered
    Expand Collapse
    Deeply satisfied pooper

    Reputation:
    1,325
    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2009
    Messages:
    11,280
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk.. ZOMG!!!1! & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    One of my best friend's brother is a total hippy. He's even a potter by trade. This dude is about 35 and he seems to have completely cracked these days. My news feed was completely raped by him for awhile, with gems such as this:


    This continues for about 3 straight days. He thinks he is some combination of Buddha, Gandhi and Jesus with a little mary j mixed in, as evidenced by some cracked out youtube video he sent to me of himself watching a youtube video. I would post it, but then you would know my friend's last name and I don't want to sully his reputation.

    crap i forgot to edit his pic
     

    Attached Files:

    #650 bewildered, Nov 28, 2011
  11. Primer

    Primer
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    933
    Location:
    Edmonton, AB - The frozen suck.
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk.. ZOMG!!!1! & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    Every now and then, you gotta air out your nuts.

    Seems pretty simple to me.
     
    #651 Primer, Nov 28, 2011
  12. katokoch

    katokoch
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    477
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,631
    Location:
    Minneapolis
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk.. ZOMG!!!1! & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    Wearing sweatpants and gym shorts around the house, no undawear. Simple as that.
     
    #652 katokoch, Nov 28, 2011
  13. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    70
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    4,917
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk.. ZOMG!!!1! & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    What kind of substance is so evil that not even Mr. Clean Magic Eraser can wash it out?

    Red wine.

    I feel so betrayed. I thought we were best friends, me and red wine. Apparently not.
     
    #653 ghettoastronaut, Nov 28, 2011
  14. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
    Expand Collapse
    The Big Four-Oh

    Reputation:
    380
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    3,909
    Location:
    The T-dot O-dot one-of-a-kind
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk.. ZOMG!!!1! & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    White wine takes out red wine. Many a carpet has been saved with this knowledge.
     
    #654 Angel_1756, Nov 28, 2011
  15. JWags

    JWags
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    153
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    3,210
    Location:
    Chicago
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk.. ZOMG!!!1! & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    This shit exploded this summer. Two years ago I met 3 REALLY attractive college girls who brought crazy light up hula hoops to this bar/club I went to alot. They were fun to watch and pretty awesome once you got over the fact that they paid $200+ for each LED hula hoop.

    Then all of a sudden this summer, every damn time I went to the beach, a chunky hippie was gyrating all over the place, sans music, annoying the hell out of people. A waitress that worked at the bar down the street from my place got fired cause one night she was working the outdoor patio and was taking too many breaks TO FUCKING HULA HOOP with a hoop she brought. Good god
     
    #655 JWags, Nov 28, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  16. katokoch

    katokoch
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    477
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,631
    Location:
    Minneapolis
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk.. ZOMG!!!1! & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    I was in the vicinity of a glass of red wine that exploded over white carpet this weekend. It was ugly. Club soda saved our asses, pouring it on, letting it fizz, and blotting like hell.
     
    #656 katokoch, Nov 28, 2011
  17. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    70
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    4,917
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk.. ZOMG!!!1! & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    Sadly, the wine has been spilled onto a wall. The magic eraser and elbow grease are taking the edge off, but there's still a faint tint that just won't go away. Lousy white walls. The only solution would be to paint it over, but you can't just paint over one section of wall, it'll look all fucked up.
     
    #657 ghettoastronaut, Nov 28, 2011
  18. zyron

    zyron
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    82
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,931
    Location:
    Connecticut
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk.. ZOMG!!!1! & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    I hope he gets sacked so fucking hard his spleen explodes.






    I might be a pissed off Giants fan.
     
    #658 zyron, Nov 28, 2011
  19. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
    Expand Collapse
    Did I just shit myself?

    Reputation:
    730
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    11,558
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk.. ZOMG!!!1! & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD


    This girl actually had some moves and if you were tripping your nuts off I am sure her show would delight. Unfortunately every other hippy chick Ive seen with those god damn over sized hula hoops are fat, let their naked gross tits flop around while gyrating as well as any white person can, and generally make me want to leave the general area I find them in. I miss Bonnaroo though, shit is fun as hell. I got tickets to Roger Waters The Wall concert coming up this summer and Ill probably brush up against these people once again.
     
    #659 Kubla Kahn, Nov 28, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  20. JGold

    JGold
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2009
    Messages:
    518
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk.. ZOMG!!!1! & THE EPIC XMAS THREAD

    I realize no one likes to hear about someone else's fantasy football team, but I had a 24-point lead coming into tonight and if someone doesn't put a bullet in Victor Fucking Cruz's kneecap in the next two minutes my head is going to explode.
     
    #660 JGold, Nov 28, 2011
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 33 of 356
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.