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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    I'm sorry, but are those actual lyrics from some country song or something?

    Look, I can make up country lyrics too:

    "I hate you more than books"
    "Baby I'd leave you if my tractor had tits"
    "Tell the horse to look away"
    "You twist my heart around like rack and pinion steering"
    "Hand me that wooden chair, then grab yourself a first aid kit"
    "Crush that pussy like Gravedigger crushes a car" (actually, that's more hip-hoppy but whatevs)

    Try it, it's fun!
     
    #961 Crown Royal, Dec 1, 2011
  2. Nitwit

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    Clearly, you are infatuated with me, and are rapidly approaching internet staulker status.

    Please don't boil my dog, Bewildered.
     
    #962 Nitwit, Dec 1, 2011
  3. ghettoastronaut

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    More like, "Tell the horse to join in", am I right?
     
    #963 ghettoastronaut, Dec 1, 2011
  4. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    I always liked:

    "Take the dice away from the baby before he craps on the floor"

    ...or:

    "Grandma get off the stove you're too old to ride the range"

    BA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
     
    #964 Crown Royal, Dec 1, 2011
  5. john_b

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    I don't know all that much about country but I wanted to know what Texas country music was so I googled it and found The Texas Music Chart. I have never heard on anyone on this list...
     
    #965 john_b, Dec 1, 2011
  6. bewildered

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    Are we still in first grade where poking fun and throwing rocks at someone of the opposite sex means that you're crushing?
     
    #966 bewildered, Dec 1, 2011
  7. ghettoastronaut

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    I never understood how people who like country music could ever be snobby about the music they listen to. Better than hip hop or rap? Replace auto-tune with auto-twang, replace trucks with bitches, horses with bling, cristal with bourbon, and you have successfully converted black music for white people into white music for even whiter people, without losing or gaining a fibre of artistic integrity.
     
    #967 ghettoastronaut, Dec 1, 2011
  8. Nitwit

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    #968 Nitwit, Dec 1, 2011
  9. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Eh... two different worlds completely in my book. Rappers usually write their own lyrics, country singers usually don't. However, country music artists play instruments while rapper use ProTools to sample the music off the old fucking Venture Coleco Vision game and turn it into a song about how cool it is to wear forty seven pounds of gold and diamonds around your neck in a ghetto. Country songs gear closer to:

    1) A song about a guy and a girl out on a date getting in zany adventures
    2) A song about a hurtin' break-up
    3) A song about how awesome the person who wrote the song thinks his vehicle is

    Yeah, I miss Dr. Dre. Only he can save that industry because it is flickering.
     
    #969 Crown Royal, Dec 1, 2011
  10. Nitwit

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    I just wanna pull your hair.
     
    #970 Nitwit, Dec 1, 2011
  11. StayFrosty

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    I want to be able to read your posts without seeing a gorilla getting rapey with a woman, but hey.
     
    #971 StayFrosty, Dec 1, 2011
  12. Juice

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    And the creepy factor just got kicked up a notch.
     
    #972 Juice, Dec 1, 2011
  13. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    A notch? Maybe. However I sure there are dudes in here that can be a LOT creepier, though.





    You won't do it.
     
    #973 Crown Royal, Dec 1, 2011
  14. Nitwit

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    Dude. 'Texas Country' or 'Red Dirt' artist almost all universally write their own music. Many times they also record fellow artist music as tribute. I know of zero musicians in this genre that 'pick' songs to record. Zero.
     
    #974 Nitwit, Dec 1, 2011
  15. StayFrosty

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    Let the hate flow.

    By the way, both of these songs are loved by everyone I work with, except the Mexican guys.
     
    #975 StayFrosty, Dec 1, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  16. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Dude.

    Texas Country is not known to me because it is in Texas. So, more power to them for writing songs. Do you know what people think are the best country artists up here?

    Kenny Chesney
    Rascal Flatts
    Keith Urban
    Big & Rich
    Brad Paisley

    Those are the country artists I get requested the most at weddings, parties and the like. People that listen to this ear-spiltting pussy faggotry call themselves "country fans". It's just really, really, really shit rock music with a fiddle in it. IT FUCKING SUCKS. Hank Williams III played a club that holds 500 here a year ago AND IT DIDN'T EVEN SELL OUT.

    So you see what I deal with up here.
     
    #976 Crown Royal, Dec 1, 2011
  17. john_b

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    I don't listen to a lot of country, but this is one of my favs.
     
    #977 john_b, Dec 1, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  18. GTE

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    That's new "pop" country. The equivalent of a boy band with a cowboy hat.
     
    #978 GTE, Dec 1, 2011
  19. Kampf Trinker

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    Sounds like a great date.
     
    #979 Kampf Trinker, Dec 1, 2011
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  20. ghettoastronaut

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    Sorry, dude. I grew up through the 90's with my mom listening to country music on the radio. Long before the days of Big 'n' Rich and Taylor Swift, it was crap then, and it's crap now. All of it. For Christ's sake, Garth Brooks wrote a song defending driving massive SUVs because he refused to sacrifice the safety of his family by saving a little on gas. He's hardly "new".

    Now for some Neko Case.



     
    #980 ghettoastronaut, Dec 1, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
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