The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

John Rich and Brad Paisley are two of the most talented and prolific writers in country music today. Rich has a direct responsibility for a fair bit of todays music format, and Paisley isn't shabby at all at writing or playing.

 

Personal values.

I listen to all kinds of music. Even the stuff Aeutis and others were posting earlier today.

I grew up in the Houston area and I think there were four million or so when I left at twenty five years old and moved to a town of roughly four thousand fifteen years ago. I so thought I was the "shit" when I moved here. It took several years for me to realize how much more I prefer rural living to that of urban.

Now, my idea of urban life is "too many people fighting for life in too small of a space." When I first moved here I thought, "WOW, if a man could just make a living here, this would be paradaise."

There is so much space here. People are nice to each other. It's so easy to find a spot where you can look for miles in any direction without seeing a car or road.

Like Shimmered was saying earlier about a cold beer, truck and dirt road; it's the simple things that really matter to her. It doesn't make her stupid. She just likes space and freedom.

 

I hate country music, but there's a bar down here where the live performers sing exclusively about getting fucked up. Last time I was there it drove everyone I was with insane, but I kept tipping to make sure he didn't stop. Every song, about two minutes in, he would notify everyone that 'this is the drinking part of this song' as if he had ever deviated. The lyrics were hilarious.

 

Space and freedom...exactly. I like just...being. I love the space and the quiet. I can do city, crowds, heels, and all...but happy isn't there.

 

There's pros and cons to both. When I was kid I lived outside a rural town, in an area where there was no one within a mile of us during the winter. I started fishing, swimming, and hunting at a young age. I kept a zoo of animals I would catch in the garage. We had bears that would come up to our house at night and there was a few times the deer would even play with our dog. We'd build tree houses in the forest and played every kind of game a kid could outside. Not to be sappy, but it was the perfect childhood.

In my more recent years I've lived in cities. There's always something going on, and anything you want is less than a 30 minute drive away. Plus, cities never sleep and for a night person like me it's something I need. No matter what scene you get sick of, there's always another one to try.

I will say though, you can enjoy almost any city, but some rural towns just suck. Austin, Minnesota comes to mind whose biggest annual event is the spam jam.

 

Crown,
I must confess. With the exception of Big and Rich, I listen to all of those artist for various reasons. I don't think you have even spoken to me since that night I declared Keith Urban to be decent guitarist. Kenny Chesney and Rascall Flatts I blame on two different girls. Shim is right about Paisley. One of best on the planet, all genres considered. My connection is shit tonight. I'll find a solo and then give you a link to the current Texas chartsas well.

Here's Paisley.

 

Ugh, after these last few pages Rob Halford provides is the cure for what ails me:




If that's too much, here's something a little lighter:

 

My ten foot Christmas tree fell over today. Just this morning I said "I've never had a tree fall". Way to fuck yourself Rainbow.

 

My grass is blue, muthafuckas!

 

Most of country music is loathsome. At best some of the bands/artists/whatever engage in blatant demagoguery. I'm sure other genres have this as well. I mean rap could probably be distilled 5 overall themes just as country music could.

There is one thing that cannot be denied though.

Country music video girls are the fucking hottest.

Terrible songs, gorgeous ladies.



The only country music I would even bother to defend falls solidly in the box of "alt country" that definitely has more rock and folk influences.









Fuck it somebody mentioned Trampled by Turtles:



Oh shit, Bob Lefsetz my music guru wrote a little entry about country music and he nails it:

Spoiler

 

If you like Neko Case, perhaps you'll like this song featuring her.

 

Here is a mainstream badass for the guitar guys. I dare you to argue.

 

...........and then there's this!

 

Bet Nitwit sent bewildered a link to a "special" video. Possibly with a Nickelback soundtrack.

 

This would almost be better than the Benny Hill theme.

 

This is probably my favourite country song:


I love this WAY song more than David Alan Coe's version (he does backing vocals on it). Sue me, but I think it's better:

 

I just might've, you jackass. Now dance around and bang your bell in victory and keep your red dots to yourself.

 

So Nitwit is being creepy with good intentions, bewildered is creeped out (or not?), and MC is playing knight in shining armor (and by armor, I mean lots of bells). It's like a perverse rendition of the Nativity, all we need now is Black Jesus to show up with some fetish porn links.

Completely unrelated, but the local paper has a section dedicated to nightlife. Their latest column includes an advertisement of an upcoming performance by these freaks.

REALLY? People are actually going to pay to see fetishism that includes gore being performed live and up-close, and even more so by a fucking transvestite who is arguably no less attractive than hir fellow performers? And this is worth advertising in the fucking city paper?

FUCK. OHIO.

 

You want good country? I've got good country.