The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Eep! I don't know where it came from because I hate public speaking and being the center of attention, but I killed it at the Mortified show tonight. I got the biggest laughs of the show, and a lot of people were coming up to me after saying they were laughing so hard they were crying. It felt amazing and was so much fun and it's three hours later and the adrenaline still hasn't calmed down entirely and if you need me I'll be working on my one woman show.

 

The hurrier I go the behinder I get.
I hate everything right now.

 

I thought you were free and spacious this evening?

 

I don't want any country. The guys loses his house, his wife, his kids and his car. If you play the song backwards he gets everything back.

Give me some rock any day.



These guys absolutely killed it live.


Great song. Systems version is pretty sweet too.

 

Tomorrow.

Robert earl keen...
Feeling good again
Or
Dreadful selfish crime.

Both excellent.

 

Here is some yankee country at its finest. Really, one of my all time favorites.

Cheatin'- Gin Blossoms

Lyrics? Really good.

In New York city, where it's cold as hell
And the streetlights shone in my blue room
Well, I was thinkin' about the nights we spent
Back in Galveston beneath Georgia moon

But it was early and I had my share
And I was countin' change for cab ride back to bed
She looked to me through the cold night air
And thoughts of you kicked on inside my head

Well, she was tall, her hair dark as midnight
But she had a way and just like you do
To make me feel just like a woman should
[ From: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.elyrics.net/read/g/gin-blossoms-lyrics/cheatin_-lyrics.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.elyrics.net/read/g/gin-bloss ... yrics.html</a> ]
You can't call it cheatin' she reminds me of you

And though I've loved you, and the trust we shared
Lord don't tell me that I've thrown it all away
A moment's weakness shouldn't change the fact
That I don't need you and there's nothin' more to say

Lord, she was tall, her hair dark as midnight
But she had a way and just like you do
To make me feel just like a woman should
You can't call it cheatin' 'cause she reminds me of you
You can't call it cheatin' she reminds me of

 

I just want an accurate country song where the guy sings about how he got drunk, beat the fuck out of his trashy wife so she ran away to her mom's trailer with their seven kids (two of which are a little too tan), so he drank some more, drove his shitty Chevy over there and ended up starring on that week's episode of COPS. Now that I just might listen to.

 

I will say that I preferred living in Plant City (redneck Florida) as opposed to Ft. Lauderdale/Boca Raton, which is where I am now. The people were nicer, and the pace was slowed down. Although I did have exchanges like this from time to time:

Redneck: So where you from boy?
Me: Originally from Peru, but I moved here from Ft. Lauderdale.
Redneck: What part of Mexico is that in?
Me: ...the south.

Or another gem:

Cute white redneck girl: Wait, so you're hispanic? But you don't look Mexican!

I moved up there for work, and believe it or not my job had me going to an even MORE rural area building low income housing, so it had plenty of space, and plenty of quiet, along with plenty of shotguns. Fancy dining was the Beef O'Brady's. Gotta say though, I might just move back up there one day.

 

I can give you that.

 

Rek...merry Christmas from the family...can't get much more.white trash drunk redneck than that...

 

We seem to have some knowledgable country fans on this board. So who is up for writing me a nice guide to country music? I have begun exploring the genre recently. I have got the basics* under my belt, but am not sure where to go next. Shoot me a pm if you feel you are up to and capable of writing up a solid guide. I will shower you with green dots in return.

*Here are the "basics" I already have: Conway Twitty, David Allen Coe, Dolly Parton, Hank Williams I & II, Jimmie Rodgers, Johnny Cash, Kruger Brothers, Merle Haggard, Ronnie Milsap, George Strait, Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson.
Here are the artists I have on my list of country artists to check out: ed bruce, john con lee, T.G. Sheppard, alabama, gene autry, lefty frizzle, hank snow, earnest tubb, Charlie Rich.

This is putting aside country rock, which I'll save for another drunk thread, I suppose. But again, shoot me a pm if you feel like helping me out.

 

Well, I couldn't get any hot chicks on such short notice, but here's a shot of me with my new toolbox*. You can thank my dad for the picture quality. He still doesn't understand what these "picture-phones" do.

*I promise that I will convince at least one sexy woman to pose on/with my tool box.

 

No one is up. Nitwit is feeling naughty. Time to flood the thread with monkey.

 

No video but by fuck this is funny.

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUyhTDsNW50" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUyhTDsNW50</a>

 

There are a few songs like that over here that every idiot that finishes recruit course plays. This is one. I never liked it to begin with and then hearing it every twenty minutes on a Friday night at the boozer just deepened my hatred for it.



Also there are some rednecks here who call their kids Khe Sanh. Why in the name of Santa's jolly red hat would you name your child after a fucking battle in the Vietnam war. Fat fucking Gothapotamus illiterate cumstains.

 

I'm out. Here's this.

"See them girls shake their ass underneath the sunrise"

 

Tonight is a great night to get drunk... And ya can never go wrong with Texas country....<a class="postlink" href="http://www.texasmusicchart.com/.." onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.texasmusicchart.com/..</a>. Hell Cody Canada & the Departed used to be Cross Canadian Ragweed.... They had Canada in their name so they had to be good. An ya can't beat "Feels so good feeling good again".. REK

 

I have to throw my hat in the ring with some Avett Brothers. Multiple concerts and 2 tattoos later, I am a little bit of a fan.
I wouldn't necessarily describe them as country, but they definitely kick some ass.