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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Please, please read the comments on this page. <a class="postlink" href="http://jezebel.com/5085840/where-garlic-has-never-gone-before-or-how-not-to-cure-a-yeast-infection" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://jezebel.com/5085840/where-garlic ... -infection</a>

     
    #1541 bewildered, Dec 5, 2011
  2. Thorgouge

    Thorgouge
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    Disturbed

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    New goal: have sex with yogurt-filled vagina.
     
    #1542 Thorgouge, Dec 5, 2011
  3. Frank

    Frank
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    It's called sloppy seconds, you've probably already been there.
     
    #1543 Frank, Dec 5, 2011
  4. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    You took the words right out of her vagina.

    In other news gonorrhea can be treated with a vaginal insertion of braised pork shoulder and treating warts is as easy as rubbing an onion on your g-spot, counting backwards from 50, and observing Lent.

    All of this sounds suspiciously like:
    [​IMG]
     
    #1544 CharlesJohnson, Dec 5, 2011
  5. Noland

    Noland
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    Don't forget the Smeckler's powder.
     
    #1545 Noland, Dec 5, 2011
  6. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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    Charles, joke away, but is that any worse than your trying to cure herpes by rubbing your penis along the insides of a boy band?
     
    #1546 Nom Chompsky, Dec 5, 2011
  7. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    You all apparently don't grok that not everyone gets the same Google results.

    They are different for a lot of reasons, when they're not the same.
     
    #1547 Nettdata, Dec 5, 2011
  8. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    Man, garlic and yogurt in your vagina? It's almost as though there's a huge, untapped market for a pure, high-quality antifungal pharmaceutical preparation formulated specifically for being inserted in the vagina. Somebody ought to look into that.

    Oh, as if there could possibly be a better way of sharing a link on the internet than providing ambiguously worded google directions.
     
    #1548 ghettoastronaut, Dec 5, 2011
  9. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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    Yep. Taking aside the fact that they're geo-localized, your search, form and browsing history also play a role in it. I wouldn't be surprised if the time of day didn't also play a role.

    /desperately trying to prove the relevance of my chosen field
     
    #1549 Nom Chompsky, Dec 5, 2011
  10. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    Hey nom, what is your chosen field? I'm trying to imagine you as a college student. But all I'm getting are the movie version of college students, who play open mics, do extra-curriculars, and only worry about "exams" and "papers" in the ethereal, I-just-have-to-drink-coffee-in-a-Starbuck's-and-it'll-get-done-by-itself sort of way.
     
    #1550 ghettoastronaut, Dec 5, 2011
  11. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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    It's not what I studied (is it what anybody studied?), but I do internet marketing now, with a focus in SEO.

    I majored in English.
     
    #1551 Nom Chompsky, Dec 5, 2011
  12. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    SEO is just another way to say Spammer and auto-Troll.
     
    #1552 Nettdata, Dec 5, 2011
  13. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Or maybe an a-CRAP-ella band:

    "Yeah, we do a lot of Dave Matthews, maybe some Dashboard Confessional or Coldplay for good measure. A band? I'm sorry but that would require musical talent of some kind. This is simply a below-average ploy to get laid."
     
    #1553 Crown Royal, Dec 5, 2011
  14. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    White hat! Valuable content! Intuitive link structure! Engaging connections between cross-synergizing content platforms social media campaigns keyword saturation!!!!!!
     
    #1554 Nom Chompsky, Dec 5, 2011
  15. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    YAY! Dog is home!

    So here's the story, for anyone interested:

    Steve (my friend) was standing in his yard off to the side with one of his dogs (both dogs look exactly the same). The other dog was in the front, close to the neighbours. Some random people (the mysterious white car that Steve saw) noticed Steve, his dog and this "other" dog off by itself. They figured the "other" dog must be in no way connected so they assumed it was lost, took it and drove Shamus to the pound. Why they didn't just knock on a door and ask if the dog belonged to anyone, we'll never know.

    Animal Control (the pound), in their infinite wisdom, refused to help trace the owner and when the Humane Society contacted Steve to alert him (apparently the people who took Shamus called them, too), Steve had to contact AC and tell them who the dog was. They checked, and due to a clerical error they figured Steve hadn't renewed his license (he had) and so THEY KEPT HIS DOG AS COLLATERAL UNTIL HE PAID. Or, rather, until they realized they were in error and turned custody over.

    TL;DR: dog is home safe and sound and people are stupid.
     
    #1555 Dcc001, Dec 5, 2011
  16. Nettdata

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    All while you smoke Marlboros and surf gay porn in your tighty whitey's, eh?

    "SEO" at work:
     

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    #1556 Nettdata, Dec 5, 2011
  17. Gravitas

    Gravitas
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    [​IMG]
     
    #1557 Gravitas, Dec 5, 2011
  18. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    I would never wear tighty whiteys.
     
    #1558 Nom Chompsky, Dec 5, 2011
  19. katokoch

    katokoch
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    I had a professor who was pretty thorough with trying to show how the Google algorithm works and SEO optimization in class and I'm kinda pissed it was something I didn't pay more attention to. I don't really write my blog posts with any of it in mind, but at some point I know I'll have to revisit it.

    Nom what are your clients typically like?
     
    #1559 katokoch, Dec 5, 2011
  20. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Sort of a range. Since I've started, I've done a government site (which sucks, for a lot of reasons), a couple musicians, some small storefronts, etc.

    If I had to generalize who would probably want SEO from me personally, I'd guess that it'd be mostly small business owners with semi-niche markets that would benefit from local stuff. It would be ludicrously expensive and time-prohibitive to rank #1 for "hot naked girls", but I could probably help somebody who was looking to get on the first page for something like "Baltimore cat grooming."
     
    #1560 Nom Chompsky, Dec 5, 2011
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