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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. bewildered

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKIN ALL AROUND!

    Today is awesome. I am wearing shorts. Why shorts? I SHAVED MY LEGS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A WHOLE MONTH!

    Excuse me while I go do backflips off the wall, Matrix style bitches.
     
    #161 bewildered, Nov 23, 2011
  2. The Village Idiot

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Ok, thanks for the mental picture, Chewbacca.
     
    #162 The Village Idiot, Nov 23, 2011
  3. lhprop1

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    That is correct. Real men don't shower because it washes away our essence.

    We just use WD-40 for cologne on special occasions.
     
    #163 lhprop1, Nov 23, 2011
  4. katokoch

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I'm a Hoppe's #9 man.
     
    #164 katokoch, Nov 23, 2011
  5. Thorgouge

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    [​IMG]

    My new favorite billboard.
     
    #165 Thorgouge, Nov 23, 2011
  6. Rush-O-Matic

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    What? No, the REAL question is Where can't you drink?

    If you're thinking church, well, clearly that's wrong since there's the whole communion thing with wine.

    And, if you're thinking Grandma's funeral . . . again, wrong, because Grandma liked to par-tay. Amirite? High five.

    So, if you're thinking at an AA meeting . . . well, now on that one I'm not sure. Anybody?
     
    #166 Rush-O-Matic, Nov 23, 2011
  7. audreymonroe

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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    The thing that's wrong about that sign is that the Jews always hike up prices so they get more money, and everything they sell is more expensive than their non-chosen counterparts.

    DUH.

    Bad advertising AND bad anti-semitism. I won't stand for it.
     
    #167 audreymonroe, Nov 23, 2011
  8. Gravitas

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Today is my first day off in a few weeks and I do not want to get out of the apt to go get new tags on my truck.
     
    #168 Gravitas, Nov 23, 2011
  9. ksp

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Self proclaimed snow day. 10 cm has already fallen and we are to get up to another 20cm today.

    That means I am writing papers drinking baileys in my coffee, switching to Makers Mark once the coffee is gone. Beats sitting in class today!
     
    #169 ksp, Nov 23, 2011
  10. CharlesJohnson

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    These boobs look Jewish to you?

    [​IMG]
     
    #170 CharlesJohnson, Nov 23, 2011
  11. sartirious

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Ever drank Bailey's from a shoe?

     
    #171 sartirious, Nov 23, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  12. Kubla Kahn

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread


    Heaven, having a set of boobs like that pattering your face back and forth for eternity.
     
    #172 Kubla Kahn, Nov 23, 2011
  13. Rush-O-Matic

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    And, this is how a woman showers.



    At least, I like to imagine this is how it happens. Every time.
     

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    #173 Rush-O-Matic, Nov 23, 2011
  14. Kubla Kahn

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread



    When I imagine, I like to have at least one of them with bigger than A cup tits. If not the whole bunch.
     
    #174 Kubla Kahn, Nov 23, 2011
  15. Rush-O-Matic

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread



    Well excuuuuuuuuuuuse me!

     

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    #175 Rush-O-Matic, Nov 23, 2011
  16. CharlesJohnson

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    You have to worry about showering with women with big sweater hams. When they try to squeeze by you to get into the water stream, they will boob-check you right the fuck out of the tub. Take it from a guy with experience.

    Getting soaped down by boobs was a nice apology though.
     
    #176 CharlesJohnson, Nov 23, 2011
  17. Hoosiermess

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Looking out my office window I can see my friend's cars sitting at the bar. I cannot leave early as my boss was born before they invented flex time, personal days, or even sick days. While this is torture I know I'm going to catch up quickly once I get there. Come on 5:01 PM.
     
    #177 Hoosiermess, Nov 23, 2011
  18. Kubla Kahn

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread


    You pay good money in Asia for this very act.
     
    #178 Kubla Kahn, Nov 23, 2011
  19. taste_my_rainbow

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    Someone please drink their ass off for me, I won't have a day off til Monday. The only saving grace is that I will be off work in time tomorrow to eat with the family - and my very sexy new friend - AND I don't have to cook anything.

    I did, however, have a great day. One of my bosses (not the cunt, I love this one & she knows I'm looking for another job) gave me a direct inside lead on a great job. She told me "as long as your resume doesn't suck, and I know yours doesn't, it's pretty much guaranteed". Right after she told me that she told me to go by and pick up my bonus check. It's not a super huge bonus but great nonetheless.
     
    #179 taste_my_rainbow, Nov 23, 2011
  20. katokoch

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    Re: The EPIC Turkey Day Drunk Thread

    I just got home and let the dog out and as he was customarily freaking out (OUTSIDE!!!) I yelled "Ease up furbrain!" loud enough for my neighbor exiting their front door to hear me. She definitely thought I was talking to her.

    "Oh, sorry, no I mean the dog."

    Oops!
     
    #180 katokoch, Nov 23, 2011
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