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The EPIC Turkey Day.. ZOMG & THE EPIC XMAS D.T BOOM ROASTED!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frank, Nov 21, 2011.

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  1. shimmered

    shimmered
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    You don't understand. These bitches be bedazzled.
     
    #1881 shimmered, Dec 7, 2011
  2. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Honky PLEASE.

    I'm sorry, a thousand dollars? Were they made by scientologists or something? If you ARE going to spend that kind of cash then make sure you buy the kind with the brims turned up on the sides, that way they can fit three of you in a pick-up.
     
    #1882 Crown Royal, Dec 7, 2011
  3. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    edit: Double post
     
    #1883 Crown Royal, Dec 7, 2011
  4. shimmered

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    A good looking man in a nice cowboy hat is a panty dropper son.
     
    #1884 shimmered, Dec 7, 2011
  5. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    The only thing I'd pay $1,000 bucks to wear on my head would be Scarlett Johansen. Or however the fuck you spell it.
     
    #1885 The Village Idiot, Dec 7, 2011
  6. lhprop1

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    That works.

    You can also bend over and clasp your hands behind your hamstrings and then try to stand up. Do it for a count of 5. Release and stand up. Repeat the process with your hands next clasped behind your knees, then your calves, and then finally your achilles. You should be able to put your hands flat on the floor without a knee bend in under 2 minutes.
     
    #1886 lhprop1, Dec 7, 2011
  7. shimmered

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    Let me also throw out there...don't try to stretch cold muscle.
     
    #1887 shimmered, Dec 7, 2011
  8. Gator

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    So is $500 cash in hand and not looking like your family tree has no branches.
     
    #1888 Gator, Dec 7, 2011
  9. dixiebandit69

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    Worst city in Texas: Austin. End of discussion. I win.
    Austin was like a girl you meet online who looks really hot, but you meet her in person and she turns out to be a sea donkey. Or a dude.

    As soon as I graduated high school, a bunch of my friends went to UT Austin. It seemed like the only thing I would ever hear out of them was: “OH MAN, IT’S OFF THE FUCKING HOOK! IT’S A NON-STOP PARTY! YOU GOTTA GET OVER HERE!”

    Unfortunately I couldn’t go because I had a wife, a new baby and a job. For years, I hear even more people raving about Austin. Hell, even Tucker wouldn’t shut up about it.

    Cut ahead to 2007, I finally get a chance to go hit 6th street, and it blew ass. The drinks were overpriced, the bartenders were rude, you couldn’t smoke in the bar, and thanks to a new rule from the TABC, you would be cut off after three drinks (“Why?” I asked. Answer I got: “We don’t want our customers getting intoxicated.” Seriously?). Not to mention that the whole place was crawling with hipsters, frat boys, cops, and panhandlers. How are you supposed to have fun with cops around?

    It was the polar opposite of everything I’d heard about Austin. When I got back home, I confronted all of those people who sang its praises. The explanations I got included:

    “You went to the wrong places.”
    “You went at the wrong time.”
    “You didn’t go with the right people.”
    “I dunno, it was really cool when I was there.”

    So I proposed that we all go back at the RIGHT time, then they can show me the RIGHT places to go.
    NOT ONE OF THOSE ASSBAGS AGREED TO DO IT.

    Excuses included:
    “I have a wife.”
    “I have a kid.”
    “I have a job.”
    “I don’t have any money.”
    “I’m a chickenshit douche bag.”

    I swear I have the worst friends. With all that said, maybe Austin isn’t the WORST city in Texas, but it is the most overrated.
     
    #1889 dixiebandit69, Dec 7, 2011
  10. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    That's easy to say when you live in Texas. It's all about context. You say cowboy hats are sexy, but I say wearing one up here for anything other than yard work will probably get you laughed off the planet. Why' Because the general opinion is that they are comical-looking.

    In other words, the lion may be the king of your jungle, but up here he,s a polar bear's bitch.
     
    #1890 Crown Royal, Dec 7, 2011
  11. xrayvision

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    Austin is a cool city if you are a college kid. They have some good music festivals and the UT ladies are easy on the eyes. But the real estate out there is way over priced. Its definitely one of the more liberal places in this state which might appeal to some.
     
    #1891 xrayvision, Dec 7, 2011
  12. Angel_1756

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    The Big Four-Oh

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    Not to sidetrack, but on the same line as "what happened to hooker?", what the hell happened to mya? I miss her prostate exam stories.
     
    #1892 Angel_1756, Dec 7, 2011
  13. joule_thief

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    Awesome:

    [​IMG]
     
    #1893 joule_thief, Dec 7, 2011
  14. Nettdata

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    Mr. Toast

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    If you ever doubt the power "Country" has over pussy, go to a Dwight Yokum concert. I've never seen chicks fucking in public at a concert before, and I lived through all the spandex and hair bands of the 80's.
     
    #1894 Nettdata, Dec 7, 2011
  15. Parker

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    Rep from Audrey
    "He will be all three of those last characteristics. Trust."

    There is a little racist in me that hates white people with dreadlocks. I don't think they should be allowed, unless they grew up in Jamaica (there are white Jamaicans). It is the most ridiculous shit and the worst misappropriation of culture. This is a fucked up thing to say, but if I saw a news story about white people with dreadlocks getting beat up or worse, I'd clap. I just can't stand it. Can't be friends with them, can't talk to them, I have zero tolerance for it.

    Am I the only one?
     
    #1895 Parker, Dec 7, 2011
  16. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    w00t! I improved my score this time around. I got 7 / 9.

    Breast Test 3.0
     
    #1896 Rush-O-Matic, Dec 7, 2011
  17. shimmered

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    It's true, I know, but nevertheless...let that guy walk past me at one of the bars in the Stockyards, and The Guy is going to get nudged as I assess the male walking past. We both look, we're open about it,so it's alright.
     
    #1897 shimmered, Dec 7, 2011
  18. Rush-O-Matic

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    So, there is now an APB out for Hooker and Mya. What about Devil's Advocate? About 90 pages ago, wasn't she the one that said she was going to a strip club for the first time? And, we haven't heard from her since? I am concerned. I wonder if she's being held captive at a strip club. That must be awful.
     
    #1898 Rush-O-Matic, Dec 7, 2011
  19. Parker

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    My theory? She ran up a bill she couldn't pay but they already have a dishwasher, she has been stripping to earn the money to pay.
     
    #1899 Parker, Dec 7, 2011
  20. katokoch

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    Don't get me started on people wearing rosaries as necklaces.
     
    #1900 katokoch, Dec 7, 2011
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