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The Freshman Checklist

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Croftie, Aug 3, 2011.

  1. xrayvision

    xrayvision
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    Oh and another thing...

    Get her a shower head thats not water-saving. Just a simple screw-on one, nothing fancy. So many campuses now are trying to conserve and the showers have no pressure. We unscrewed the head off the pipe and drilled out the hole that controls the flow of water. If they don't even sell em anymore, maybe you could drill one out yourself and send it to her. It seriously takes 5 minutes. Best showers ever.
     
  2. ghettoastronaut

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    I don't know what kind of dorms you guys lived in, but george foreman grills wouldn't have flown, and pots and pans would have been absolutely useless.

    I had a small kettle in my dorm that could boil continuously and had a flat bottom. You could make anything in it: pasta, kraft dinner, oatmeal, hard-boiled eggs. All of it better and cheaper than what you got from the cafeteria.
     
  3. Bourbondownthehouse

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    -A mid to high end pair of running/tennis shoes. I walked 15-20 minutes each way to a lot of my classes my freshman year before I found my way into the parking pass black market.

    -A large (maybe golf?) umbrella. Nothing sucks worse than sitting in your own wetness for an entire lecture.

    -A coffee maker. Cafeteria/ Campus coffee is overpriced, under caffeinated, and you gotta wait in line for it.
     
  4. guernica

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    Just on the ironing board "debate', I met some American girls who were holidaying through Europe who were using wrinkle release spray. It worked just as well and is obviously far more compact.
     
  5. effinshenanigans

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    - A large (5 cup) pyrex measuring cup

    I used this all the time. You can make mac and cheese, ramen, etc. in the microwave and you can eat right out of it so it's only one dish to clean.

    - A little set of plastic flatware

    Unless she's going to be stealing from the dining hall, she'll need something to eat with when she feels like making food in her room.

    - Ping pong balls

    They get lost, they get stomped--she'll need more.

    - A deck of cards

    - Dice
     
  6. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    A battery rechargable screw gun. Its the touchstone modern tool, you won't believe how much you may need it.

    Lots of weed. Truthfully, being a pot dealer is just about the only job you can have in college where you may have a cash surplus even after you spend your rent on a Keggerator.

    A hidden locked fire safe. Fires happen, and so do thieving fucking roomates.
     
  7. Nick

    Nick
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    I'll have to disagree with all these people who are saying that you need to show up the first day of college with a surplus of alcohol. If you go to any proper college campus, and you can't figure out how to get your hands on alcohol, you've already failed. How much alcohol are you talking about? I guess I could understand if you're lugging in a caseload of hard booze that will last you months on end, but we're talking about a freshman girl. There are any number of co-ed dudes out there that are more than willing to supply freshman girls with booze. Frankly, she's better off loading up on those condoms. That's a surefire way to get free booze.
     
  8. shabamon

    shabamon
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    Definitely check with the school's housing department before buying things like toasters, Foreman grills, etc. These are such a fire hazard with retard freshmen and they were off limits where I went to school.

    Co-sign on basic tools.

    A bucket, rags, and various cleaning solutions for when some sloppy drunk makes a mess in the dorm. My freshman year roommate made plenty of female friends because he had this stuff and didn't mind cleaning up after the dorm's bigger lushes.

    A small area rug helps since most dorms have cold tile floors. It also makes a dorm room much more inviting. Nothing huge, 6x4 or 5 should be adequate.

    If she's attending a school in an urban area, a city travel guide could be useful so she knows where to go out for a meal and nightlife. I bought one for my brother when he left for Ohio State. You can find these at any Barnes and Noble.
     
  9. rei

    rei
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    When my brother went off to college I got him a bottle of whiskey, a few cigars, and a deck of cards.

    My sister is heading off this year and I'm getting her a onehitter+dugout and a quarter oz. Might give her my joint roller too.


    But seriously everything I've heard tells me that toilet paper is your biggest key item.
     
  10. D26

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    I have to reiterate the shower shoes, those are a necessity unless you want some crazy fungus growing on your feet. Remember, you're in a dorm with a lot of guys who aren't getting a lot of privacy unless they're in the shower, so it ain't just dirt on that floor.

    The dorm I lived in banned hot plates, so we lived with a small microwave and a mini-fridge. I also became popular as the go-to "video store" guy, as I owned a bunch of DVDs and if people wanted to watch something it was easier to ask me to borrow it than to go to a video store or someplace like that. Same worked for my large video game collection. Find something that makes you well known around or useful the dorms, and you'll make plenty of friends.

    Finally, bring or think of a good a hiding place for any weed or alcohol you plan to have. At my school, they had "fire drills" which were actually just excuses to evacuate the dorm so the R.A.s could do room inspections and look for booze, drugs, and other stuff we shouldn't have, like the aforementioned hot plates. I know of a few guys that got busted and one guy that got thrown out this way. Here is a tip: taped to the underside of a drawer is not clever. Under your mattress is not clever. Those guys got busted. I knew guys who had hollowed out books, fake shaving cream cans, and for bigger stuff, they'd create false bottoms for their drawers. Not all dorms are run by assholes who are out to bust you. Still, having a hollowed out book or another disguised safe is good for keeping anything you don't necessarily want your roommate taking.

    Oh, one more thing: noise canceling headphones. My roommate my first year in the dorm was on a Pink Floyd kick, and listened to "Dark Side of the Moon" on repeat endlessly for months. He was also socially retarded and refused to leave the room because he was afraid of people, so he would sit in the room and never, ever leave. At one point, I came back from work in the dorm cafeteria and turned on the lights, which apparently pissed him off, as he spent the rest of the night (that I was there, anyway) sitting in the dark closet with his Pink Floyd cranked up as high as it would go. Noise canceling headphones would have tuned that shit right out, and I could've studied or just ignored him. Dorms are loud places, and sometimes headphones are the closest you can get to tuning that noise out.
     
  11. Misanthropic

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    Make sure she brings a least a dozen cartons of cigarettes that she can barter for more time in the yard, shivs, phone privileges, oranges, or protection form the bull dykes.
     
  12. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Apparently I didn't have the typical college experience considering I was 22 and just out of the military when I enrolled, and worked a full time job and lived in my own apartment throughout. But from what I can gather from the various threads on this forum college life goes something like this:

    -get up at noon covered in your own piss, vomit, and filth
    -shower optional; that's what Axe is for
    -play videogames for a couple of hours
    -work two hours at your thrice per week part-time job so you can tell your parents you're being productive
    -party until 3 am while getting blackout drunk after getting high, try and fail/succeed to get laid
    -repeat

    So, does that about sum it up?
     
  13. ghettoastronaut

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    Now that you've reminded me, I also had a french press coffee maker in my dorm, and would boil the water with my kettle. It made amazingly tasty and strong coffee for dirt cheap. The thing itself cost $20 and a bag of beans wasn't even $10. That's, what, 10 or 15 coffees from Timmies or Starbucks? Pays for itself.
     
  14. jordan_paul

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    Tell your sister to have a good four years. Make sure she has her applications for Walmart, Target and Home Depot ready, because that's what a university degree is worth now-a-days.
     
  15. Sammerton

    Sammerton
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    Shut the hell up, you fucking idiot. Just because you never went to college doesn't mean you need to talk shit about those that do just so you can give yourself some sort of affirmation that you made the right decision.
     
  16. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Having a college degree doesn't guarantee you a good job, but a lot of good jobs require that you have a college education. So you either play to win, or find a new game to play.
     
  17. Pussy Galore

    Pussy Galore
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    I'm not in tears like Sammerton up there, but I disagree to a point. Whether or not you can find a job depends on what your degree is in and what area you live in. I have several friends with psych degrees that were stuck waitressing or being an "administrative assistant," but my friends with science and applied math degrees have found positions in teaching, R&D, and other fields with relatively little effort.

    Forget the booze and drugs - if she's decent on the eyes, boys will give that to her. My vote is for the basic tools and cookware allowed by housing, as well as accompanying instructional guides; pots and pans are of little use if she can't cook, and a screwdriver or wrench will only help her strip threads if she doesn't understand the concept of "righty tighty, lefty loosey." Sounds simple, but college girls are dumb. I also support a hidden toilet paper supply and a safe or lockbox. My thieving junkie of a roommate freshman year stole everything she could get her hands on, and never replaced the toilet paper. That bitch.
     
  18. jordan_paul

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    This is true. It's amazing how many people work at Toyota, Lear, Chrysler, Ford etc with degrees in any sort of arts degree, Political Science etc. One girl I know has spent countless of thousands of dollars on obtaining her English Lit. degree and all she's gunning for (aka only job prospect) is a job stacking shelves at the public library. At minumum wage, I think she can hope to pay off her student debt by her mid forties? Seems like a wise life choice.
     
  19. Nettdata

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    Mr. Toast

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    Let's stay on topic.

    We've already had huge threads recently about the values/merits of a degree, so let's not get into it here.
     
  20. Crazy Wolf

    Crazy Wolf
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    Another for the waterproof flip-flops.

    Durex has been rated as the most reliable, if I recall correctly.
    Dye magnets? What the fuck are you talking about? You don't have to worry about color bleeding if you just keep the machines on "cold".
    I have a Leatherman Wave with a bit-kit. This and a hammer will allow you to put together/repair all shitty dorm furniture.

    Where in the country will she be going? A fan or two will be handy, especially if she's going to be in the South or Midwest. Hmm. Your location would suggest that she's on the west coast. Still, it'd be a good investment, and they're cheap.

    A foam mattress pad's a (semi-)solid choice.