What place serves $10 breakfast burritos? Or, did you subtract what you spent on condoms when you "dropped her off."
On Friday the Mrsanthropic and I are going to the first wedding we've been to in about 15 years. Most of our neighbors will be there+open bar+bus transportation= sever drunkenness. Other than snorting tequila and wearing my underwear outside my clothes, how does one properly celebrate nuptials these days?
Make sure your top hat coordinates with your monocle and cane, of course. And, I believe that during the receiving line, slipping the bride a gift certificate to Adam & Eve is expected. Also, use the phrase "celebrate nuptials" as many times as you can during the reception.
It was a $5 burrito. I pocketed the rest. And come on man, she's WAY past menopause. No condoms needed.
I'm dealing with a little old lady right now who sounds exactly like the Dirty Perv from "Family Guy". Every time she speaks this is what I see:
I get to sit near Hillary AND get light snacks for only $27 grand? Sign me the fuck up. Her next book should be called "The Audacity Of Huh?" I remember long long ago when $27,000 was an average single income. Now it literally buys you nothing. Sorry, but I found this far too silly for the Serious Thread.
I'm hard pressed to believe Hulk Hogan is on the side of the good and righteous. He's a money hungry has been who has been outed for the fucking piece of shit he is. If you don't like Gawker, don't read it. I don't even know what it is.
Hulk is bankrolled by Peter Thiel and his $3B who is out for blood. Bankruptcy is not an issue for the Hulkster. This will be in court for a LOOONNNGGG time. He married a lesbian who is 20 years younger than him with no prenup. Damn Johnny, you're slipping. Who thought that a man who tatted "Winona" on himself would lapse in judgement when it comes to females.
Gawker is one billion times the piece of shit what you think Hogan might be. Now you know what Gawker is.
I had to go to so many weddings last year, I kind of loathe them now. One was on a day that was so hot, several people fainted in the church during the ceremony. But I never had one with arranged bus transportation. That has potential. Don't forget drunken speeches about things the bride and/or groom would rather forget about.
Crown Royal's Law: If there at least two white people at a wedding, at some point in the night they WILL try that "lift" move from Dirty Dancing. And utterly fail at it.
We have played very different weddings, Crown. Angel's Law: If it's an open bar, you stand a 35% (+/- 8%) chance of seeing the bride's grandmother grinding to Britney Spears' Toxic.
Also, for reference, the reason Peter Thiel is bankrolling the attempt to destroy Gawker...they flippantly outed him as gay in a post, when the majority of people who knew him had no idea. Which is rich from a company that controls Jezebel and has always been ultra pious.
I just had to ride in an elevator whose previous occupant hot boxed with his cologne. I had to hold my breath for 16 floors. If your scent lingers for 5 minutes after you're gone to the point that it's gagging folks, you're wearing to much cologne.