As my rep said that's the guy. Thank you and your memory. Say what you want about Tucker, but I can tell you this back before all of the "fame" came (outside of the board, just the first book) that place was fucking hilarious. Heavy handed mods were abound but that's what he wanted and it was his board. What I got was countless hours of free entertainment that got me through long work days. There was always a reason I logged in every single day and it was to see what was going to happen next. It was always something. I wonder about Bunny once in a while. I hope she's not in the clink for murder JWags.
I'll never un-see Bunny's rabbit shit in a toilet. And the Blueberry Heir was entertaining for years.
One of the guys I really miss was Savage Henry... and his "crystals is real medicine" discussions with Bunny. That man had the restraint and patience of a saint.
He was my favourite board member. He was very smart, very fast and very funny all the time. I don't think a single person disliked him. And Dimeo, there was a guy where money and money alone is the one and only reason a woman has come within a hundred feet of him. Holy shit was he amazing, he really thought he was going some hot-shot "scene" party promoter and thought women were seriously into him despite how sad, deformed and goofy-looking as we was. He was on "A Dating Story" for Christ's sakes.
Bunny was one of the most profoundly depressed people I have ever "encountered." There were moments where it was practically Stockholm syndrome. The shit that man put her through was insane. Abortions, rampant cheating, poverty, condescension, sexual antics that would make Caligula barf. And she STILL sticks up for him in the press. I gotta wonder if she thinks about Max's wife and kid as she collects more strands of her fallen hair to make dolls. I think about that poop at least once a week. It is inexorably burned into my memory. Rabbit pellets my ass, that looked like a bowl full of pulsing brown brains.
I used that message board as a way to amuse myself instead of doing the job I hated at the time. It was chock full of horrible, cocky people and I'd love to find out what became of all the mods and "entrenched" board members who acted like they were God's gift to the universe. Regardless, if you could set aside your morality or empathy, it was a pretty hilarious place. I'll forever be sad that the exchange between KungFu Mike and Bunny, each trying to convince some stupid girl on the advice board that the other was trying to take advantage of her, was lost to the ages.
Is it lost? Because we found a lot of the board (but still only parts)on the Wayback Machine, including the John F. Page, Michael Crook and the IHTSBIH movie threads.
Right. Shame, the advice thread was one hell of a funny place. Mostly because 99% of the responses were the exact opposite of "advice".
Not to derail the RMMB-memories train (please, do keep going), but y'all won't believe what just happened: Some law-enforcement charity just called me, asking for money. You'd think that a person like me would be on some kind of national "do not call" list when it comes to things like that, but I guess not. If I wasn't on their "do not call" list before, I sure as hell am now.
It was also amazing how many notable and/or prolific posters disappeared for spurious reasons. Didn't Soylent get arrested for something and thats why he vanished? Also I just remembered that a friend of mine in Florida ran into or met Tucker's friend Junior in Florida and that he was a goofy looking bald dude married to an unattractive chick. All of this is only important cause I remember Tucker describing him in that story as basically an ethnically ambiguous male model who cleaned up more incredible tail than even Tucker. Oh jeez, how did I forget. I exchanged 4-5 emails with Tucker about visiting my university during his college football tours. The school is routinely ranked top 10 for attractive females and my roommates were in a frat hosting a big party the weekend in question. Tucker was all gung ho and then waffled and ghosted because he didn't, and I quote, "feel like the party was going to deliver the number of girls I expect from events like this." Insert eye rolls. Despite all of that, I stayed on those boards cause like we've established, it was the most eclectic and diverse dumpster fire I've ever been on. Only Twitter now comes close to exposing me to as much random shit.
Uh, sure, if "time donations" count, I've already donated more than enough... Anyway, about the RMMB: I was surprised at how many people from there DIDN'T come over here after that place folded; also, at how many of them did come over here for a short time, but didn't stick around. I figured the party would just move over here.
I came onto the board when he got it back up again, sometime around 2004ish I think. Getting to see all that thundercloud starchaser or whatever, Dimeo, Fitzgerald Page, Soylent Green callout, all that crap go down in real time is poetic looking back on it. I wish I had the maturity or the perspective at the time though to realize how truly great what I was witnessing was. Someone mentioned they'd found the links to those threads on the wayback machine? Would it be worthwhile to post them in one spot here? Oh, and I remember some dude named Stydie I think his name was spelled. He was the physical manifestation of what a douchebag looks like and talks like. I still can't believe Tucker was narcissistic enough to include the McGriddle rant, word for word, in the movie. Why the fucking hell did he in a million years think that translated to the spoken word? He did help me ace a final though. My degree is in public speaking, and for one of my speech classes we were supposed to find a piece of non-fiction and act it out while we read it. After surprising little effort convincing my professor for approval, I chose Tucker's story about the hockey game where he got shit hammered, went on the ice and fought the mascot and all that. Edited it down to within my time frame, left in the best parts (I always wanted to give the finger to my professor, I mean, "crowd"), and decided to do some method acting since I lived a short bike ride away from campus. Skipped my morning classes in order to more efficiently drink beer, whiskey, and red bull chasers. I was a piece of work when I showed up for my final, hat backward, white undershirt, camo cargo shorts and running shoes taking fake swings out of a recently-emptied Shiner Bock bottle I was able to clear ahead of time. It made for an awesome speech. Though by the time I gave it I really didn't care what grade I received.