If white people in Atlanta are afraid of a Canadian teenager, I call that progress. Fuck your citizenry and their need for safety, how can you have kids without balls? Jesus Christ.
I'd like to know exactly what makes him intimidating. You don't even have to fight something when you can simply wring its neck until it passes out or pees in its pants. Just watch out for the morbidly obese black dudes that "bodyguard" him. That's another thing I love about cowardly Caucasian celebs: they somehow get it in their pin heads that black fatass= tough. Because we're supposed to be afraid of security who can be killed simply by taking the stairs two at a time.
I heard a theory on the radio this morning that Jay Leno will replace Piers Morgan. Seems extremely doubtful to me, but stranger things have happened.
I don't care if Bieber moves here. To be honest, it might be kind of entertaining watching all the southern WASPs get in a huff about it. Maybe he'll hit rock bottom/die here. Maybe he'll kill a little girl as he's driving his Ferrari 80 down a side street. The details are not important! What is important is that he records his next album here and it be urban inspired. J.B. holla at me
there's nothing quite like tripling your commute, having to buy a whole new batch of ties, getting up at 5:30 am, and then having to review the patriot act/frank-dodd act when you get home to make you wonder if you made the right decision.... I really hope life doesn't fuck me in the ass on this...
Bieber's moving to Atlanta? I didn't know the whole 'loser takes Bieber' thing was literal. Well fuck that! None of those players are from anywhere closer to Atlanta. It looks like Bieber should move to Minnesota(8/25) or New York(6/25). Both Madison and Minneapolis are looking like with strong contenders with 2 players each from there. Just kidding. I'm sure it won't actually affect my life in any way.
I thought Atlanta was more worried about more pressing issues, such as revenge for Sherman's March and praying it doesn't snow again.
Tonight in the grocery store I was never so glad that my kid is now 11 and I don't have to deal with this shit anymore. I start off in the produce aisle and there is a mom there with two kids, a girl about 1.5 and a boy about 3. The boy would NOT SHUT UP. "Mommy, blah blah blah, mommy, blah blah blah, mommy blah blah blah." I think he was on some sort of audio loop. I got what I needed and frogmarched myself to the other end of the store to the frozen food aisle. I spent a fair amount of time dithering around, to my regret because they rounded the corner and the kid was still going on and on and on. Apparently his little sister had enough of his shit and started crying at the top of her lungs. I wasn't finished but I had to escape back to the other end of the store. I had so much sympathy for this woman, and admiration that she must have been going through her grocery list like a machine to have made it through the entire store that quickly. I finally went back down to frozen foods and she was gone. The sad thing is that a lot of people would get angry at her because her kids were annoying, but as a mom I had nothing but sympathy. She has to deal with this 24-7. I not only had to only endure it for mere seconds, but I had the luxury of walking away.
At the store this evening I heard a mom literally say to her 4-5 year old son, "Honey I love you, but you're driving me crazy...". She sounded like a good mom, that or she knew people were eavesdropping. Either way, she handled it well.
I was out to dinner the other night and there was a girl of maybe about 3 at another table. For no apparent reason she started screaming like she was being stabbed. It took every ounce of my being to not actually stab her.
Weirdest way to wake up, ever. My brother (who pretty much never speaks to me ever) called me to try to pawn off a dog he acquired somehow. I suspect it was found behind the store he works at. I hate saying no but seriously? Take it to a no-kill. We (apparently he called my sister and 72 year old aunt) all have dogs. I told him I can't afford another one which is 100% true. I also don't have time to train a young and boisterous dog, a house that is big enough for 2 dogs, or a fenced in yard. This will not, however, stop me from looking at pictures of dog on petfinder.
I love that idea. When Johnny Carson retired, he had the good sense to disappear. Jay Leno won't do that. He'll pop up somewhere. Having him on CNN will be perfect, because then I'll never have to see him.
I've been told for years that parents that score the high school meets get paid. I haven't seen a dime, but I was told it was only about $15/meet so even if I did get paid, I would just donate it to the team. Well, they must have finally caught up with the paperwork after 4 years and I received two vouchers which total about $800. Um, I think I'm keeping it. Swim team has enough money, right? RIGHT???? That's how we ended up with ours. Dogs can be adorable: Does anyone think this picture makes it look like former Senator/actor Fred Thompson has fallen on hard times? Or that he likes to be really really comfortable on bus/train trips?: Spoiler Yes, it's not really him.
I'm sure you've woken up to weirder situations - or have you finally supressed the memory of the 13 months you spent in a Turkish prison? My dad had a co-worker who had crazy stories about waking up in wierd situations. You and I would call it "coming out of a blackout drunken bender", but let's not quibble. Like the time he woke up in an airport in Houston (the evening started in NJ) where he knew no one and had no reason to be. Or the time he woke up in a VW bug, without any clothes on. The clothes were not only not on his body, they were nowhere in the car, or within sight outside the car either. And the car wasn't his.
Spoiler C'mon, you earned it! It was the damn dog adoption websites that did me in... it has to be illegal to put that many begging puppy faces on a single website. Then you get one and they go and do shit like this: Spoiler I passed out on the (screened in) front porch of the house I lived in during college once, after I was too drunk to unlock the front door. I had no idea where I was when I woke up, no clue how I got there. So glad it was my own porch and not a neighbor. Good times. Then there was the time I woke up in my dorm room and we had a full size tetherball pole in there, with the ball attached.
I used to keep a small duffel in the trunk of my car with a change of clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste, twenty dollars, and a pint of bourbon in case I woke up someplace weird. I didn't use it very often, but it was helpful on a few occasions.
No way! I used to do the same thing! Except, instead of a toothbrush and toothpaste it was a shovel and rope. Oh, and instead of bourbon, it was lime. But, yes, not often and it was helpful on a few occasions. It really is a small world.