I would too, but I've been in North Idaho for almost two years. I've seen one 60 degree day since last October and this is quite a shock to my delicate system. I shudder to think what's going to happen to me when I finally get back to Mississippi.
I would like to find the person that said that I would miss my kids days of constant bickering, whining, and lying. Hopefully that person is a gambling man. I would bet all my worldly goods that I will not miss behavior like today.
Old lady just dropped off the 16 month old that we have watched for 14 days straight, it is a glorious feeling. Do feel bad for the kid though, her mom is a 20 year old waitress that can't be bothered by, you know, having a kid in the first place. On top of that she stiffed my fiance on the money for said 14 days, why? Cause for the last 2 weeks she has been at the beach with her friends and blew all her money. Also had her 2nd abortion a month ago, I am convinced that nobody in the south mentions condoms or birth control to anyone, getting knocked up young is a tradition down here I guess.
32 guests! Seriously if you are going to read about our depravity you should register, and share your own. New blood is usually a good thing.
Olympic Club is playing tough today, nobody can hit a putt for shit. Tiger just missed one inside 2 feet.
I remember one distant relative of mine telling me that I'd miss living with my parents. Ha. Yeah. Let's see how that one goes.
He'll be in full blackout mode, yelling at somebody who isn't there: ToyToy: "You ran over my coon dog with your monster truck, Morticah!!! FUCK YOU AND YER MOTHER!!!!" Friend: "Man, who are you yelling at?" Friend2: "Don't interrupt, dummy! It's like Grizzly Man: you can get close, but the wrong move and he'll kill us both!" ToyToy: "YOU GOT SOMTHIN TA WANNA SAY TO ME?!?! Friend: "You're yelling at a four-wheeler." In other news, went to the Jays game today, and my prediction was spot-on: every female's thighs DO collectively steam whenever Brett Lawrie steps up to the plate. Now, I like this guy a lot. He plays primal, but he already has a Tie Domi-level cult following around this city and he hasn't even played his first full season yet. He is bar NONE the most popular player on the team. In other good news, a lack of Phillies fans at the game. I don't know, but I heard they were known to be KIND OF gigantic assholes. As in the worst in baseball. Ones that vomit on eleven year-old girls intentionally.
Hey, I didn't see a Sherlock thread in the Pop Culture section or anything there. Anybody watch that? I finally watched Series 2, Ep. 3 and I have a question about it. Somebody point me there if there is one. Oh, also, if you haven't seen this BBC series, you're missing out. First 3 episodes on Netflix, next 3 on PBS online watchy thing for a few more days.
I only hope I can find a new and more creative way to once again kill myself. I'm guessing it will involve firearms, fire, heavy equipment, booze, and some sort of wild card*. *The wild card could be an angry parrot, Mayan prophacy, finding misplaced nukes and investigating with a hammer, rabid catfish (How would a rabid catfish froth at the mouth?), or something even I can't imagine. Or I may just drop dead from a heart attack. That would be a real let down.
Time for a few drinks. Maybe some cocaine followed by firing some holes through the ceiling with a shotgun. Go set off a few of my neighbour's car airbags with a firelog. Who knows? Its saturday.
I've never been to a gangbang so I don't know what it sounds like, but I think I heard NBC, USGA, ESPN, and about 500 other organizations cum all over themselves when Tiger teed off today. ESPN is shitting themselves silly talking about this. With LeBron and this they'll be busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. If Brett Farve were to do something, watch the fuck out
Spoilered for Debbie Downer talk that I just want to get out somewhere: Spoiler my dad is going in for some surgery on Monday. Not massively risky, but not routine either. The chance of major complications is decent. I'm really nervous and can't get my mind off of it. I don't want to say out loud how scared I am because I don't want to freak him out any more than I'm already sure he is. I don't know how to stop doing the mental equivalent of nervously pacing around the room. Here are some boobies to lighten the mood: NSFW
How long ago did this song come out and why did I just hear it for the first time today? Is it wrong that I can't stop listening to this on loop? Was this song ever popular? What have I been missing by confining myself to a boat or a gym for the last 15 years? Moneymakin' is a wonderful thing.
This is my massage therapist. <a class="postlink" href="http://etsgym.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/JILL1.jpg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://etsgym.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/JILL1.jpg</a> She is a masochist and routinely brings very large men to tears. She primarily works on NFL players, but my picture proudly hangs in her dungeon front and center surrounded by pictures of guys like EJ Henderson, Larry Fitzgerald, and Jared Allen. Granted, I was her first real athlete client when she was working out of her home and now she's a fixture in a dozen NFL locker rooms. Fuck you football players, I saw her first. She's the fucking bomb.
You can come to Planned Parenthood on Monday and laugh at people with me if you want a good distraction. What the hell, I just came back from a pretty decent night to discover that this has existed for the past five years: I grew up there, and I am appalled. For the record, that guy claims to be a celebrity in my town, but I have no idea who the fuck he is. Although, I guess I wasn't technically living there five years ago. Also for the record, the only part I relate to is smoking blunts on the Rail Trail and that the Chinese food really is terrible.
Well, have you heard this: Skin on Tony Iommi from Black Sabbath's solo album. So I had a night of hipsters, bar fights, a rap battle in the shitter, and scumfuck ugly greasy pieces of cunt scum with women way out of their league. If I could lift my arms I'd slap everyone.