My dad 21 years ago. Every father's day I wake up and just think... how much money I've saved not having to buy him anything.
I discovered the Band of Heathens last night. Funky-bluesy Austin band. I had so much fun. If they come to your 'hood you should definitely check them out. Jesus is an awesome musician.
I motorboated a tranny last night. I shouldn't start pregaming a full 5 hours before I leave the house.
For those of you looking for a little serenity in your life. Just picture a tranquil field of flowers. Spoiler Or that ass whatever.
And how much bullshit you've missed trying to get a goddamned card at the store at 12:30 on Sunday. HORSESHIT. Fighting 15 gaping yokels to get the last possible card on the shelf which, I shit you not, contains the phrase "To the best dad in the world. We probably wouldn't trade you for anyone else." What the fuck? I'm just putting my hand in a Plaster of Paris mold and giving it to him. It worked when I was 4.
Rodney King is dead and shockingly, not by the hands of cops. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/17/us/obit-rodney-king/index.html?hpt=hp_t1" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/17/us/obit-r ... ?hpt=hp_t1</a> Who had him for the death pool?
Fucking rich people. We went to this couples house that my fiance is friends with last night, the husband owns his own oncology practice and the wife owns a Jazzercise center. Nicest fucking pool I think I have ever seen. Huge gas grill and smoker set up on one side, brand new huge bar and full kitchen on the other side, with a bathroom right there that was nicer than the bathrooms of any house I've lived in. It even had a steam shower in it. Awesome hot tub, Tiki Torches that were fed from an underground natural gas line, and the pool itself even had water spouts like this surrounding it: Oh, and it all backs right up to and overlooks the fairway of one of the holes of the championship golf course that they live on. It makes me jealous knowing that I will never own anything even remotely close to that.
Not really being able to move because of dancing too much last night is the second best reason for not really being able to move because of something you did last night.
Stella Artois, your beer tastes like shit. But you're popular among the geriatrics. I hope you take a sip out of that champagne flute you call a "beer glass", it breaks in your hand and slices your radial artery as you poop yourself.
Hey I thought you nailed the first one... Three Olives makes Fruit Loops flavored vodka, and this shit tastes exactly like it. Fruit Loop tonics by the pool kick ass.
Would any of y'all be willing to share their potato soup recipe with me? My wife loves the stuff and I would like to be able to cook something that she can eat. Acid reflux is a bitch.
INGREDIENTS: 3 pounds red potatoes 1/4 cup margarine, melted 1/4 cup flour 8 cups half-and-half 16 ounces Velveeta cheese, melted White pepper, to taste Garlic powder, to taste 1 teaspoon hot pepper sauce 1/2 pound bacon, fried crisply 1 cup cheddar cheese, shredded 1/2 cup fresh chives, chopped 1/2 cup fresh parsley, chopped DIRECTIONS: Dice unpeeled red potatoes into 1/2-inch cubes. Place in a large Dutch oven, cover with water and bring to a boil. Let boil for 10 minutes or until 3/4 cooked. In a separate large Dutch oven, combine melted margarine and flour, mixing until smooth. Place over low heat and gradually add half-and- half, stirring constantly. Continue to stir until smooth and liquid begins to thicken. Add melted Velveeta. Stir well. Drain potatoes and add to cream mixture. Stir in pepper, garlic powder and hot pepper sauce. Cover and cook over low heat for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Hey you know what? Shut up. Ohhhhhhhh look at me. I have a horrible disease, but am still an advocate for myself, and people like me. Plus I have a super great sense of humor, and am all wise beyond my years! That doesn't make you cool. You know what? Half of my people were enslaved hundreds of years ago. And, I have to deal with stupid girls putting their arm next to me and telling me "Omg! I'm almost as dark as you!" And white folk are automatically scared of me. And I was born with negative two hundred points on my credit score! And, and, and, shut up! I WANT MY 40 ACRES AND A MULE GOD DAMNIT!!!