Despite my avoidance of it nowadays, I will always share a special bond with Jose Vomito because tequila is the first booze I ever got wasted on. Doing poppers with Wink as the mix. I drank a mickey (11.5 oz bottle) and butted a lit cigarette on the back of my hand. It hurt more than I anticipated it would. Still got the scar.
Tequila is a foul and vindictive liquid. It is made of the fermented piss of Satan, and Captain Pops-a-Collar's bastard love child.
Bow down before Newfie Screech. This rum will dragon-kick you in the balls, take your eye out and show it to you. When you drink it, it smokes a cigarette on the way through your intenstines. The hangover results in your spinal cord picking up AM radio signals, your bones feel like a petrified cactus and your head feels like its in the bass drum of a Slayer concert. This stuff is kyfe to no end. Drink at your own risk, it's manly-man punishment brew.
One night my sophomore year of college I split a handle of Durango tequila with my roommate. I ate a Chipotle burrito earlier that day and puked it out in my sleep. And that's when I started avoiding tequila.
Well he pronounces it vale-dick-torian. I guess I was saying it wrong, vale-vic-torian just sounded right in my head, like victorious. Also, is he right when he says, "none of you is special?" Shouldn't the is be are?
... So I think La Esposa just got us a 4 month old walker coonhound for free that someone was giving away on Facebook. This could be terrible and awesome at the same time.
Aw, get that hound dog! It'll be a good dog to have if you have the energy for the breed. I bet him and Junior will be best buds.
Ha! That almost made La Esposa start crying! We miss Tex, but our house was WAY too small for him. He lives with her brother now out on about 5 acres, with a lake to play in and everything. Believe me, Tex is WAY happier. Plus, Big clumsy dog + Baby = No Bueno. With this one... Man, like it said, it could be great or terrible. I've been drinking, so I haven't decided which yet. If nothing else, it'll be alright when we build our new house in a year or so.
If your house isn't big enough for Tex, it DEFINITELY won't be big enough for a hound puppy. They are bred to run tirelessly after game.
Well yeah, but one of these hounds are not very big. Tex was a giant Baby-Huey dog. By not big, I mean my house is right under 1000sqft living. I can always go outside with the dog and do stuff. I couldn't look to my left without Tex being there to trip over. And I DO like to trip over stuff. Not disagreeing with you- this is the beer talking mostly. We'll see how I feel in the morning. AND after I see the dog, because I'm not above getting all smootchie-wootchie and falling in love at first sight.
There are so many brown people in my house right now. I'd be surprised if the FBI wasn't watching us.
Yeah I hear ya. Buddy is bigger than we were supposed to be allowed, we had to have him approved by our landlord. He's only 60lbs but we live in a 700 square foot apartment. We HAD to ask though, he picked us with those sad eyes at the SPCA. Sometimes you gotta take the leap.
So, hung out with that girl again tonight at a festival concert. Was surprised to see a friend with her (turned out to be her roommate). Maybe I'm projecting here, but I think the guy was way more surprised to see me there than the other way round. On the other hand, french nova scotia rap music. It was surprisingly good.
FINALLY I found a half ounce of... uhh... something legal you buy by the half ounce. It's drugs. I bought drugs.
I don't get it. I just had some of my... potato chips... so my brain is a little sluggish. Damn those trans fats! Good thing I didn't get a whole ounce.