I spent my Friday night writing a letter to one of my best friends. I decorated the envelope with stamps that I carved myself. The address is in Portland and the return address is in Brooklyn. Oy.
Probably the same amount they lose by people like me not shopping there. My credit card company pays me to use their interest free loans for 30 days. Unless everything is at least 5% cheaper than every other store in the area (which is going to be more expensive for them than the fees), I'm not shopping there. On my flight home last night, I sat between the person you hope you never sit next to, and the person you hope you always sit next to. On my left was a morbidly obese woman who smelled bad, elbowed me several times before I finally said something, shoveled free cookies and soda into her mouth at all opportunities, and her hips were oozing underneath the arm rest. To my right was a gorgeous, athletically-built, friendly, amazing-smelling woman who apologized profusely when the stewardess spilled four drops of Sprite on me, and talked just the right amount - without being annoying the whole 4+ hour flight. Lauren (that was her name), I love you, will you be my travel buddy?
It seems your friends and I were on the same wavelength. Apparently in the middle of the night I tried to see if I could pee in the toilet with the lid down, nope.
Today is my family reunion. Every year, my family gathers outside at a pavilion, drinks, smokes, and contemplates throwing eggs and my horrible great aunt during the egg toss. Everyone brings food and we make a huge buffet filled with some of the best food I eat all year. It always ends up raining and we end up jumping into the creek. The only downside is that most of my cousins bring their significant others, so at some point I am going to be asked why I'm not seeing anyone. I will obviously be doing a lot of drinking.
Too much time on the internet led me to believe that was about to take a weird turn. Also, this news story has restored my faith in America. 'Kindness in America' memoirist admits shooting himself We still have our kindness, but now we have the bonus of people wanting to succeed so badly they will shoot themselves to sell a few books. That's the recipe for success.
Good morning Drunk Thread. So I've heard a lot of talk about Sailor Jerry in drunk threads of the past, so when I saw it at the BX yesterday I figured I'd pick some up and see what all the fuss is about. It was cheap too so why not... What do I mix it with? If anything?
Massage and pedicure today. God, it's good to be a girl. Also, and I realize I'm about 10 pages late on this, the boyfriend has advised that he worked on Suits. Apparently that redhead is a stunner IRL.
Pics of you two scissoring or it didn't happen. EDIT: This is a naughty vampire slightly nsfw Spoiler
It's pretty good straight, but mixers for me, in order: Dr. Pepper Coke Zero Root Beer Also, check this out: http://sailorjerry.com/the-rum/drink-recipes/
I like it on the rocks. Careful though, it'll sneak up on you and before you know it you've had too much.
6:30 I awoke to my 3 and 5 year old jumping and talking very loudly in my bed. I got up and went across the hall to the youngest one's room and the little urchins followed me. Both boys by the way.
Oh, nap time, you saucy minx you. And why yes Madame Vodka we can take this time to get reacquainted.
Beer flights are delicious, although if you're just doing them like shots and then yelling for another you might look out of place at the sort of fancy micro brewery. FYI. Now, I'm having ice cream and listening to Patrice O'Neal in the background as the lady who wanted me to impregnate her (From this page) keeps texting me to go out tonight. Good lord.