Pfffffff. More like, "Wine before beer, you'll be humping a dead deer"....Sorry, I was channeling toytoy there. P.S. A 12 oz. glass of wine, dranken as if it were a beer, will getting a solid buzz going for you. In case anyone was wondering.
If you drink wine and you're a male, your ass will surely get impaled Drink beer and you're a male, you won't get fucked by a guy named Dale.
I should have known who to turn to for the witty rhymes. You're really blowing me away my friend. Anyone ever tell you you should become a rapper?
Why not just: Wine before beer, you're a closet homosexual. It's a loose rhyme but I think it gets your point across.
How about: "Drink your Chivas you fucking pussy!"* *Direct quote from a friend of mine's Dad while we were playing poker.
Just woke to the Heaven-sent noise of my daughter giving her air raid alarm impresssion. She has now figured out the kicking the side of her crib closest to our bedroom wall makes LOTS N LOTS of ruckus. This problem-solving intelligence thing is getting on my last fucking nerve. Chater, did you or Vanilla bring home a girl that requested "Anything by Alan Jackson"?
So my biggest turn on in a girl is high heels. I don't know why, it just is. So one of my best friends who is also my roommate has this girl that he has been fucking around with for months. He has been trying to break it off with her for a long time so that he can move on to greener pastures, understandably. She ended up at our house tonight, against his will (like it fucking matters, he is getting ass and I am not). She was wearing some fucking hot ass pink high heels the hole night, like she was fucking leading me on. The worst part is that since he doesn't really want her, she was hanging around with us all night, but she really was just wanting to fuck him. God Dammit! Where are all the easy girls that like to wear sexy high heels!? I am drunk. I love you Glenlivet.
Indeed sir. If you have good taste in music, then you will love This. I am drunk. I somewhat like you people.
Hey lsoers. What is p yo. Fuck all you bitches going to b ed like snatch pusssiesssssss. whaoot. this is swhats happnening in the real worle d yo,.
sign that youre an alcoholic, number eighty five: you go to the kitchen with the intention of getting a drink to take some medication before bed, forget that on the way there, and come back with a martini
'morning, sunshine and kittens. I feel like walking on the beach and playing some tennis. Unfortunetly I'm in Southern Ontario and It's frozen dank horseshit until April. I FUCKING HATE WINTER
I don't think I have seen the sun in weeks. And that is not an exaggeration. I feel surprisingly good after being a bit tipsy last night and then waking up early to go running in the rain. Maybe THAT is the cure for a hangover.
Morning all I'm back and I'm part drunk, was a semi quiet one for so far. Come home a few hours sleep some food then start again tomorrow. Been drinking with one of the bar girls who told me I couldn't get a reaction from her for any shot she would drink. Never ever tell me I can't do something haha. The shot I got her made her toes curl Jokes on her, I'll be drinking and she has to work tomorrow at ten. She has great tits.
Booze was drank, strippers were ridiculed, and dignity was lost for yet another night in my streak of about 15 days drinking. And I'm still pretty drunk right now as my friends are snoring on the couch and futon. Awesome. I really need a few days to recover...but, it's only Saturday!! Let the shitshow that is my life continue!! How about a little pick-me-up? Spoiler Yes, that is my future wife, but she's hot and those are amazing