Come 5 p.m., I'm unemployed as fuck. I've either made a really good decision, or a really bad decision. Either way, I've decided not to remember the next 48 hours. AVANTI!
I actually just had a conversation with my cousin's girlfriend about the contents of a margarita. It went something like this: Me: Do you have the supplies? I've got some Patron. Her: We've got mix. I'll get some vodka and I know he's got Captain. Me: You don't put vodka or Captain in margaritas. Her: If you're cheap you do. Me: No no no no. There will be no desecration of margaritas in my presence. Her: What do you normally use? That's seriously what we always used to use. Me. Tequila. You're fucking with me, please tell me you are. Her: I'm completely serious. Seriously?! Vodka and Captain in a margarita?? Did I miss something?? Clearly I'll be in charge of the mixing this weekend.
I just realized something. I think my brothers girlfriend lives in our house now. If you eat, shower, and sleep in a place, you live there right? This gradual process happened right before my eyes and I didn't even realize it until she walked in the house a minute ago and I almost went ninja on her ass, not knowing that she had a key. Guess what? I don't even have a fucking key to the house. Thank god I'm drinking.
A damnable lie. If you're making an average margarita with store-bought mix, then it doesn't matter so much. I wouldn't even bother spending the money on that overrated Cuervo bullshit. Get Sauza or something equally inexpensive. Same hangover, and easier on the wallet. If you're going to make your own, and control the proportions of your ingredients, and don't want something that tastes like flat Mountain Dew and goat urine, use something a little bit better. I'm partial to 1800 Silver. A not-too-expensive tequila with a decent flavor. Milagro would serve your purposes as well. Of course, the best piece of advice I can give is to forgo the nancypants mixers in the first place, and pour that shit over a glass of ice with a lime twist. That's the money melon.
My best margarita recipe: Take lime juice, tequila, ice, and bourbon. Mix the juice and tequila in a disposable cup. Gently place the cup in the trash. Pour the bourbon into a rocks glass, and put the ice back in the freezer. Drink and repeat.
Sorry shegirl- I didn't want you to see this, but I think you need to know the truth. Brett's found another piece of strange. But at least you know he likes to make out with older women! So you still might have a chance!
This makes me sad in the brain. Too many young minds have been turned against the glorious gift of tequila due to one bad night in college. I've never had that night. Tequila doesn't make me angry, or forgetful, or sick. It leaves me blissfully drunk and, generally speaking, hangover-free the next day. I'm a complete novice and I've figured out that if you don't drink bottled testicle-pressings, it can be as complex as any whiskey. It gets a bad rap because it goes down smooth with salt and lime, and people don't give it the proper respect. Oh, well. More for me.
Careful now. Don't jinx your precious Brees he is the playoff virgin afterall. That's his mother you pervert. I'M TELLING GOD!
Tequila was my very first drunk experience and I will always love it, though sick times and bad sex times. I don't usually get nuts off of it nowadays, but I'll always cherish it for producing a fearless buzz that checks your inhabitions at the door.
That's fucked up, but not nearly fucked up as this: In unrelated news, my girlfriend's biological clock is ticking. "Babies babies babies!" she goes all the time. It is scaring me, and precipitated another talk about the future. There is going to be a lot of moving around in my future, and she wants to live with her parents it seems. I'm not sure if the impending reality is worse than the talks about it. I have a half a bottle left of Knob Creek. I find that adding a single ice cube makes it much more drinkable; it's too hot otherwise. That, and bourbon actually helps me study, where everything else puts me to sleep. All things considered I think I prefer scotch, but for its ability to put me to task, I may never be able to go without a supply of it.
By the looks of it they drink first. Don't blame them it's the booze! Brings out the devil in us all. Have I told you yet I like you WAY better when you're DRINKING?! Shithead. Via a rep point: Brees lost in the NFC championship game to the Bears, he isn't a playoff virgin... Everyone is so technical! Whatever and what's that thing on the side of his face!? It bugs me.