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The Most Offensive Thread in the Universe

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Revengeofthenerds, Jan 8, 2015.

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  1. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

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    Sorry (/not sorry). This is requisite:

    [​IMG]
     
    #21 Revengeofthenerds, Jan 12, 2015
  2. Bundy Bear

    Bundy Bear
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    What's big, black, six legs and lots of sharp teeth?
    A doberman with a baby in it's mouth.

    What's black and blue and hates sex?
    A rape victim.

    What's the difference between a dump truck full of sand and one full of dead babies?
    You can't empty the dump truck full of sand with a pitchfork.
     
    #22 Bundy Bear, Jan 12, 2015
  3. gamecocks

    gamecocks
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    What is red and yellow and floats in a pool?
    A slashed baby with swimmies.

    What is blue and purple and sits at the bottom of a pool?
    Slashed swimmies with a baby.
     
    #23 gamecocks, Jan 12, 2015
  4. TJMax

    TJMax
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    Disturbed

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    North Las Vegas
    How do you make a young girl cry twice?
    Wipe your bloody cock on her teddybear.

    What's black and blue and red all over?
    A rape victim.

    What's the best thing about an eight year old girl?
    Turn her around she's and eight year old boy.

    What's dangerous and eats nuts?
    Syphilis.

    What's the difference between a clit and a mobile phone?
    Nothing, every cunt's got one.

    How do you get 100 dead babies into a bucket?
    A blender.
    How do you get them out?
    Nachos.

    What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the inside of a window?
    A baby in a microwave

    What's 12-inches long and can make a woman scream all night long?
    Crib Death

    What's the worst part about eating bald pussy?
    Getting the diaper back on.

    What's the best thing about having sex with a 10 year old?
    Pretending she's 5.
    What's the best thing about having sex with a 5 year old?
    Hearing her pelvis snap.
    What's the worst thing about having sex with a 10 year old?
    Hearing her say that she's had better.

    "What's the worst part about fucking an 8 year old girl?"
    "Hearing the ribs creak"
    "What's the best part about fucking an 8 year old girl?"
    "Feeling the ribs creak"

    What do you call four lepers in a hottub
    Stew

    Did you hear about the leper who failed his driver's test?
    He left his foot on the gas

    What's red, slimy and crawling up your leg?
    A homesick abortion.

    What’s green and melts in your mouth?
    A leper’s cock!

    What's blue and doesn't fit?
    A dead epileptic.

    What do you do when somebody is having a seizure in the bathtub?
    Throw in your clothes

    How many American Astronauts can fit in a Miata?
    9...two in the seats, 7 in the ashtray.

    What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?
    The washing machine won't follow you around for 2 weeks after you drop a load in it.

     
    #24 TJMax, Jan 12, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  5. Superfantastic

    Superfantastic
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    What's the difference between a dead baby and a pepperoni pizza?
    You don't cum on a pizza before eating it.

    What did the Jewish pedophile say to the children?
    You kids wanna buy some candy?

     
    #25 Superfantastic, Jan 12, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  6. $100T2

    $100T2
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    #26 $100T2, Jan 12, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  7. $100T2

    $100T2
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    #27 $100T2, Jan 12, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  8. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    What's Forrest Gumps wifi password?

    1forrest1
     
    #28 Juice, Jan 12, 2015
  9. billy_2005

    billy_2005
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    What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?

    No one cries when you cut up a hooker
     
    #29 billy_2005, Jan 12, 2015
  10. jdoogie

    jdoogie
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    What do you get when you put a razor blade into an infants head?

    I don't know about you, but I get an erection.

    What happens when you put a baby into the microwave for 5 minutes?

    I have no idea, I'm too busy masturbating to pay attention.
     
    #30 jdoogie, Jan 12, 2015
  11. BakedBean

    BakedBean
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    Disturbed

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    Rat cheer
    Why did Helen Keller crash her car?

    Because she's a woman.
     
    #31 BakedBean, Jan 12, 2015
  12. gamecocks

    gamecocks
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    What is Hellen Keller's favorite color?
    corduroy
     
    #32 gamecocks, Jan 12, 2015
  13. Coke Bottle Casualty

    Coke Bottle Casualty
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    [Opens door to exit] I'm afraid this is a butthurt-free zone, sir...
     
    #33 Coke Bottle Casualty, Jan 12, 2015
  14. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    Did you hear Helen Keller's dog ran away?

    You would too if your name was "Aaaaarnglsh!!"
     
    #34 Revengeofthenerds, Jan 12, 2015
  15. $100T2

    $100T2
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    How come Stevie Wonder can't read?
    Because he's black.

    Why don't blind people skydive?
    Scares the shit out of the dog.

    What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
    Nothing. You already told the bitch twice.
     
    #35 $100T2, Jan 12, 2015
  16. Puffman

    Puffman
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    What do a thousand battered women all have in common.

    They don't fucking listen.
     
    #36 Puffman, Jan 12, 2015
  17. gamecocks

    gamecocks
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    Why do black people only have nightmares?
    The last one to have a dream got shot.
     
    #37 gamecocks, Jan 12, 2015
  18. dewercs

    dewercs
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    Why did Hitler kill himself?

    the jews sent him a gas bill

    What were the 2 things missing from the million man march?

    an auctioneer and 10 miles of chain
     
    #38 dewercs, Jan 12, 2015
  19. Danger Boy

    Danger Boy
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    How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?

    Hand the bitch a shovel.

    How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    None. She can do the fucking dishes in the dark.

    Two gay guys are fucking in a wayside rest bathroom. One leans over the other's shoulder and asks "Hey, you don't have herpes, do you?" "No", the other one replies. With a sigh of relief, the first guy says "Good, I'd hate to catch that again."
     
    #39 Danger Boy, Jan 12, 2015
  20. gamecocks

    gamecocks
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    A preist and a rabbi are sitting on a park bench when a little kid walks by. Priest says "Hey you wanna fuck that kid?" Rabbi responds, "Out of what?"
     
    #40 gamecocks, Jan 12, 2015
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