If it's any consolation to you, I'm moving over the past couple of days, and this is the only thing that brought a smile to my face.
Hey guys, I found a clip of Parker watching the score this week as his win evaporated: What even is the best part here? That the Patriots rolled but I still won? That iczorro's continual willingness to accept trades with negotiating for better deals probably gave me the win? That CJ2K chose this moment to remember that he is old and fumbley? That Parker spent most of the week thinking he had it in the bag? That he had to wait all the wait until the 4th quarter of Monday night to know his hopes were dashed? It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, friends.
I was going with the hope of the worst offense doing something as none of the defenses available would have done me much in my mind. I didn't have them as an option, but you wouldn't really have thought the Jets D would get lit up by Oakland, but they did. So pretty much any pick was a crap shoot at that point...except the Patriots because the fucking Dolphins only beat the two worst teams in the league. Jesus F. Christ. Still wouldn't have saved me because Green Bay shit the bed entirely, without anything from my Flex or TE I was cooked. I've been getting fucked at the TE position this year. MoreCowbell, I knew it Sunday night. I didn't even watch the game on Monday, I didn't even check fantasy scores. It was done right then and there. I got my bragging in early, knowing I wasn't going to pull it off with the rest of my team. CJ2K had a bad game, but I still got you on that trade. Unfortunately for me you and everyone else keeps taking iczorro's underwear while his pants are still on. Still in 5th place tho holding on to my playoff spot.
Starting the game favored to win by 8-10 points When I was just up by .4 points and Andrew Luck looked like he couldn't even hold on to the ball When Indy scored to give me a little cushion When the game went into overtime and I realized that the Carolina D could still score a touchdown to win it When Gano finally hit the FG
I don't know why NFL.com was drunk when making the schedule, but they stacked teams to play each other twice in 2 weeks? The end of the season for me look like a giant standings shakeup.
No seriously. THIS IS A TEAM THAT HAS KEPT A FUCKING WIFE BEATER BUT THEY RELEASE JOSEPH RANDLE? I can't fucking believe this shit. He must have walked up to Jerry Jones and told him firing Jimmy James was the dumbest thing he's ever done, but I have no idea what fucking else can get you kicked off that team. It's not like Lance Dunbar or any of their other fucking RBs are just ready to break out. This is horse shit.
Blue Dog really doesn't give a fuck. He won a game with 8 players by 20 points. He'll be fine, he only loses to the two worst teams in the league apparently.
Also, I TRIED to trade Blue Dog Cooks back in week one (before we knew he was hot garbage!) for a cheaper price but he wasn't biting. Don't like Nom pushing product on my street corner. Don't like it one bit.
Here's the thing though- you tried to take my Breesus. Never try to take a man's Breesus. All I'm doing is following Parker's lead by moving into full-homer mode. I didn't like Forte anyway- my little brother played against him in college, and the jerk beat them single-handedly (303 rushing yards and 5 touchdowns). What an asshole! I would have given him to you for free if you asked.
Homer mode is the way to go, it seems. Brees had 143.2 points last week, Pats are carrying Parker's team completely.
I've had contributions for other players. Keenan Allen has done well. Chris Johnson did good in his BradyLivesMatter debut. The Patriots have been doing work, but I've had other contributors. Definitely playing the Patriots D against Washington though, not making that bullshit mistake again.
Are we ignoring the fact that Forte is most likely done for the season? Coming from a reformed trade rapist, that trade's pretty fucked up. Also, the Saint's D is going to put up 12+ points this week. You just watch.
Where are you getting done for the season? I've heard reports of 2-4 weeks. In any event, McFadden is a waiver-wire fill-in for me, and not a huge huge upgrade over CJ Anderson. Cooks has upside, but wasn't going to crack the Julio/Jeffrey/OBJ troika without an injury, so was pretty expendable. Both of them are more useful to Blue Dog than me, so it's a pretty defensible risk to take to potentially upgrade the weak part of my roster for the stretch run.