Valentine's Day is horseshit, and I spent a month bitching about it last year. It's like fucking contest for some people who on who's husbands/boyfriends can outdo wach other, meanwhile they have no idea they're competing. On VD (a perfect name for it) I smoke pot and post random shit on this site. My wife would not expect anything better because she's wise enough to realize it's completely unecessary. It's the MIDDLE OF FEBRUARY. It's cold, grey, bitter and miserable outside. The worst month of the year in this area. Celebrate WHAT? That we have minus thirty degree windchill outside? I'd rather chew a jumbo roll of tinfoil.
Aloe vera and vitamin E. And it's just that I want my dick to work, btw. Oh, and in response to the pussy whipped thing:
I've realized I can answer almost any post on this board with a scene from a movie selected entirely from memory. I wish I could remember medicine or science or computers that well, I'd be a fucking billionaire.
In college I was pretty sure my friends didn't have personalities, but instead were just an amalgam of movie and Entourage quotes.
I've got a poem for you: Haikus are easy, but they don't always make sense. Refrigerator. I've also got a great drink recipe: Make a normal Crown (or your choice of booze) and coke. When you get halfway done, refill with Crown. Continue with this pattern. Exponential alcohol content, you approach pure booze asymptotically. That reminds me of a joke: A mathematician and an engineer agree to a psychological experiment. The mathematician is put in a chair in a large empty room and a beautiful naked woman is placed on a bed at the other end of the room. The psychologist explains, "You are to remain in your chair. Every five minutes, I will move your chair to a position halfway between its current location and the woman on the bed." The mathematician looks at the psychologist in disgust. "What? I'm not going to go through this. You know I'll never reach the bed!" And he gets up and storms out. The psychologist makes a note on his clipboard and ushers the engineer in. He explains the situation, and the engineer's eyes light up and he starts drooling. The psychologist is a bit confused. "Don't you realize that you'll never reach her?" The engineer smiles and replied, "Of course! But I'll get close enough for all practical purposes!" (I like this joke because I'm an engineer)
The greatest drink recipe ever: Double double double double. Step 1: Pour yourself a double. Step 2: Pour yourself another double. Step 3: Pour the second double into the first double. Now you have a "Double double." Step 4: Go to In-N-Out Burger and get a Double double. Now you have a Double double double double.
Where are all the people that got uppity about Ben Roethlisberger playing in the Super Bowl yet haven't said jack shit about Chris Brown being on SNL? I know no one watches SNL anymore, but NBC, corporate sponsors, blah blah blah....
I never understood all the V-day hate. It has to be the single greatest day to be a single male on the entire calender. The sheer quantity of desperate single women prowling the bars looking for some semblance of "love" is spellbinding. I think I've gotten more action on V-day than any other day of the year. I look forward to it every year of my single life. This year may be a bit tough though as it falls on a Wednesday. Chances are most people without dates will be staying in. Also I have an exam the day after so that will surely make it pointless this time around.
It's on a Monday. And I think that actually makes it better because not only is it V-day, the single women also didn't get any on Friday or Saturday either.