Really considering reactivating the ol' OKCupid profile and posting it in the other thread. I predict this will happen after two more beers.
I'm feeling similar urges, only mine's a match.com profile and I think you have to be a member to view it.
Fresh back from the liquor store. The favorite drink thread inspired me to indulge, and I'm now happily sipping a Sailor Jerry and Cherry Coke.
Stuck at my parents house watching their dog Bandit (right) and brought Tyrone (left) over for the night while they go visit my new nephew. I've got to stay sober while my fiancee goes out with her friend to celebrate her birthday since they're taking a limo to go party and the limo is dropping them all off at her friends house... Have to pick her up after they've been drinking all night. At least I've got good company.
Just got home with a fifth of Jameson and a pint of Woodford Reserve bourbon. I have to work in the morning. If the boss is going to make me work on a Saturday, he's getting an extremely hungover SwampDonkey. That'll teach him.
I drank the last of the scotch right out of the bottle and now I'm fresh out of booze. There's no one to blame but me, really. The landlady's cat smelled the scotch on my breath and walked away. What's his deal. This upcoming pay raise sure does take some of the sting out of the upcoming trepidation re: work. Fuck. At least I'll have money to keep me company in the absence of people. That'll sure look good on the ol' dating profile. Fuck knows. Work is probably going to make me move away and the girlfriend doesn't want to go with me. Frankly, I'm not sure I'd want her to come anyways. And now Generation Kill is on. This would be an okay day were it not for the lack of alcohol. And then frankly, I'm not sure I should be drinking much more than I currently am anyways, so.
I'm getting the urge to rewrite my entire online profile, as it's a over year old. Also many of the things in it are downright lies; my favorite colour is not and will never be chartreuse. It probably won't matter, because I am sort of weird and respond to innocuous, friendly questions like this: No, you haven't either, and let me tell you why. You would think it was goddamn ridiculous to walk into your favorite salon and find your hairdresser perched precariously on a tower of telephone books.
My 64 year old father has an Adult Friend Finder and Ashley Madison Account (He is not married but has been dating same woman for a few years who lives in another state). Sure I will come over and help with your computer, but you mind closing what sites you are on before I get there next time.
Do you have to pay for that? If not, I'll totally "make" one later tonight when I'm "drunk." Then I'll "pretend" to message "lonely housewives" and post the results for amusement.
That would be the wahoo to end all wahoos. Milly would be Grenada by comparison. Somebody do it. Pussies.
Then he'll "mysteriously" disappear in the middle of said "prank" and we'll all be treated to a fucking hilarious Rant tomorrow morning.
That's been happening more often lately. Milliron left after being raped by everybody, Supertramp left after Nett carpet bombed his rep points. Not a peep since. Who's next?
Waking up at 5 a.m. Sunday, so I'll be staying in tomorrow. This means I have to get extra special drunk tonight. I got invited to a swanky party for one of the Denver TV reporters (female) who just got a promotion, so I have a feeling there might be one or two hot girls there. I have an hour to get ready. And by ready I mean drink rum. Someone give me some sort of drinking game, I feel like shots.
For those of you wondering, the best line in the entirety of the Generation Kill series is "Aw, man, I don't have any boot bands."