The Only Official Thread of the Weekend! WDT 4/8/11

You're welcome.

NSFW

 

"What is: Green Fairy?"

-Artificial Unintelligence

 

A teenth? And you're going to make a whole batch of brownies with it? I know a lot about smoking weed and nothing about baking with it, but methinks you could have a much better night just smoking it and eating the brownies later.

Unless you are talking about just that, then I'll shut the fuck up.

 

I haven't been this high in about three months. What. The. Fuck. Is. This. Shit.



Awesome. I almost forgot I want to dump 10 bottles of motor oil on my next door neighbour's lawn.

 

I went to the liquor store and they tried selling me a 12-pack of Stella that expired on 12/1/2010 and were out of Johnnie Walker Black Label. I peaced-out with a 12er of Fat Tire, but am missing the Black Label. Right now I'm loving Mad Men reruns.

 

Watching the followup BBC documentary on the westboro baptist church...so fucking nuts.

One of the girls that left though turned out to be somewhat attractive and was pretty damn articulate.

Still raises the question: how do you combat a group that is completely fucking crazy?

 

So last night I met up with a friend. A female friend, who I used to have sex with 6 months ago ish. We were never really dating. More fuckbuddy region. But, seeing as I'm in a relationship, it was a friendly meeting. I knew she'd been dating someone, so I asked how it was going.

She then dropped the bomb that she thinks the reason it's kinda meh and she isn't into him is because she's still into me. Like, seriously into me.

Fuck. Hell, I'm not even sure that I want to be in the relationship I'm in. Let alone a different one. Ugh.


Women are frustrating. And, oddly, more frustrating when there's too many of them than when there's too few.


And yes, I'm a whiny little bitch.

 

I live in KC (pretty close to the lunatics) so am subjected to interviews and information on a pretty regular basis. From what I understand, it sounds like their "thing" is to protest (always within the law) in such a way as to cause people to react to them (outside of the law) so they can sue. Somehow this has financially supported their crazy, wacked out cult for many years. Not that I don't think they have some crazy crazy beliefs that aren't purely financially driven, but, I guess this is part of the plan.

So, to combat them, I guess the best thing would be to just ignore them, as nettdata said.

 

I agree, but unfortunately these people are the ultimate trolls and people will always be baited into giving them attention.

I do feel sorry for the kids though.

 

Really? Come on man. I hope that you were joking and I missed it.

 

It would have been my first batch ever, and I'd never so much as seen it done before, so I consulted Google (seriously). That's how much I was told to use, given the amount of butter that would have went into said brownies (see below). As it turned out, it was smoke first, then eat, for the same rationale you mentioned. Figured I'd wait until I could consult someone who'd know what they were doing.

The pizza and brownies were fucking delicious, by the way! I implore all of you to try these:

Spoiler

Chicago-Style Deep Dish Pizza

Makes two 9-inch pizzas, serving 4 to 6

Place a damp kitchen towel under the mixer and watch it at all times during kneading to prevent it from wobbling off the counter. Handle the dough with slightly oiled hands, or it might stick. The test kitchen prefers Dragone Whole Milk Mozzarella; part-skim mozzarella can also be used, but avoid preshredded cheese, as it does not melt well. Our preferred brands of crushed tomatoes are Tuttorosso and Muir Glen. Grate the onion on the large holes of a box grater.

INGREDIENTS

Dough
3 1/4 cups (16 1/4 ounces) unbleached all-purpose flour
1/2 cup (2 3/4 ounces) yellow cornmeal
1 1/2 teaspoons table salt
2 teaspoons sugar
2 1/4 teaspoons instant or rapid-rise yeast
1 1/4 cups water (10 ounces), room temperature
3 tablespoons unsalted butter , melted, plus 4 tablespoons, softened
1 teaspoon plus 4 tablespoons olive oil

Sauce
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/4 cup grated onion , from 1 medium onion (see note)
1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
Table salt
2 medium garlic cloves , minced or pressed through garlic press (about 2 teaspoons)
1 (28-ounce) can crushed tomatoes (see note)
1/4 teaspoon sugar
2 tablespoons coarsely chopped fresh basil leaves
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
Ground black pepper

Toppings
1 pound mozzarella cheese , shredded (about 4 cups) (see note)
1/2 ounce grated Parmesan cheese (about 1/4 cup)

INSTRUCTIONS

1. FOR THE DOUGH: Mix flour, cornmeal, salt, sugar, and yeast in bowl of stand mixer fitted with dough hook on low speed until incorporated, about 1 minute. Add water and melted butter and mix on low speed until fully combined, 1 to 2 minutes, scraping sides and bottom of bowl occasionally. Increase speed to medium and knead until dough is glossy and smooth and pulls away from sides of bowl, 4 to 5 minutes. (Dough will only pull away from sides while mixer is on. When mixer is off, dough will fall back to sides.)

2. Using fingers, coat large bowl with 1 teaspoon olive oil, rubbing excess oil from fingers onto blade of rubber spatula. Using oiled spatula, transfer dough to bowl, turning once to oil top; cover tightly with plastic wrap. Let rise at room temperature until nearly doubled in volume, 45 to 60 minutes.

3. FOR THE SAUCE: While dough rises, heat butter in medium saucepan over medium heat until melted. Add onion, oregano, and 1/2 teaspoon salt; cook, stirring occasionally, until liquid has evaporated and onion is golden brown, about 5 minutes. Add garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Stir in tomatoes and sugar, increase heat to high, and bring to simmer. Lower heat to medium-low and simmer until reduced to 2 1/2 cups, 25 to 30 minutes. Off heat, stir in basil and oil, then season with salt and pepper.

4. TO LAMINATE THE DOUGH: Adjust oven rack to lower position and heat oven to 425 degrees. Using rubber spatula, turn dough out onto dry work surface and roll into 15- by 12-inch rec-tangle. Using offset spatula, spread softened butter over surface of dough, leaving 1/2-inch border along edges. Starting at short end, roll dough into tight cylinder. With seam side down, flatten cylinder into 18- by 4-inch rectangle. Cut rectangle in half crosswise. Working with 1 half, fold into thirds like business letter; pinch seams together to form ball. Repeat with remaining half. Return balls to oiled bowl, cover tightly with plastic wrap, and let rise in refrigerator until nearly doubled in volume, 40 to 50 minutes.

5. Coat two 9-inch round cake pans with 2 tablespoons olive oil each. Transfer 1 dough ball to dry work surface and roll out into 13-inch disk about 1/4 inch thick. Transfer dough to pan by rolling dough loosely around rolling pin and unrolling into pan. Lightly press dough into pan, working into corners and 1 inch up sides. If dough resists stretching, let it relax 5 minutes before trying again. Repeat with remaining dough ball.

6. For each pizza, sprinkle 2 cups mozzarella evenly over surface of dough. Spread 1 1/4 cups tomato sauce over cheese and sprinkle 2 tablespoons Parmesan over sauce. Bake until crust is golden brown, 20 to 30 minutes. Remove pizza from oven and let rest 10 minutes before slicing and serving.

Spoiler

Chewy Brownies

Makes twenty-four 2-inch brownies

For the chewiest texture, it is important to let the brownies cool thoroughly before cutting. If your baking dish is glass, cool the brownies 10 minutes, then remove them promptly from the pan (otherwise, the superior heat retention of glass can lead to overbaking). While any high-quality chocolate can be used in this recipe, our preferred brands of bittersweet chocolate are Callebaut Intense Dark Chocolate L-60-40NV and Ghirardelli Bittersweet Chocolate Baking Bar. Our preferred brand of unsweetened chocolate is Scharffen Berger. Leftovers can be stored in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 4 days.

INGREDIENTS

1/3 cup Dutch-processed cocoa
1 1/2 teaspoons instant espresso (optional)
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons boiling water
2 ounces unsweetened chocolate , finely chopped (see note and related illustration)
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter , melted
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 large eggs
2 large egg yolks
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups (17 1/2 ounces) sugar
1 3/4 cups (8 3/4 ounces) unbleached all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon table salt
6 ounces bittersweet chocolate , cut into 1/2-inch pieces (see note)

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Adjust oven rack to lowest position and heat oven to 350 degrees. Referring to directions in Making a Foil Sling (related), make sling using the following steps: Cut 18-inch length foil and fold lengthwise to 8-inch width. Fit foil into length of 13 by 9-inch baking pan, pushing it into corners and up sides of pan; allow excess to overhang pan edges. Cut 14-inch length foil and fit into width of pan in the same manner, perpendicular to the first sheet (if using extra-wide foil, fold second sheet lengthwise to 12-inch width). Spray with nonstick cooking spray.

2. Whisk cocoa, espresso powder (if using), and boiling water together in large bowl until smooth. Add unsweetened chocolate and whisk until chocolate is melted. Whisk in melted butter and oil. (Mixture may look curdled.) Add eggs, yolks, and vanilla and continue to whisk until smooth and homogeneous. Whisk in sugar until fully incorporated. Add flour and salt and mix with rubber spatula until combined. Fold in bittersweet chocolate pieces.

3. Scrape batter into prepared pan and bake until toothpick inserted halfway between edge and center comes out with just a few moist crumbs attached, 30 to 35 minutes. Transfer pan to wire rack and cool 1½ hours.

4. Using foil overhang, lift brownies from pan. Return brownies to wire rack and let cool completely, about 1 hour. Cut into 2-inch squares and serve.

The pizzas are better off cut into quarters, given their small size. After just one piece, I was FULL. This recipe is no joke. Best pizza I've ever had. Ever.

 

I think it's hilarious that this is their M.O. It's only going to take one crazy person, like that college dropout from Arizona, to raze a bunch of them, then "I shall see your face in COURT, good sir" won't exactly cut it anymore. God help the rest of us if that happens (knock on wood). Shit will get weird, then.

It's amazing that people have become so weak and spineless (at least in this country) that they'll sue on a moment's notice over the dumbest shit. And win. WIN! Don't get me wrong, legal intervention has its place. But it's gotten out of hand in the last [random number] years. No wonder aliens don't wanna land here; there's nothing they could learn.

Bah. I'm going back to watching Katt Williams.

 

"Oh mah god, two women want mah cawk and it's so harrible! WHAT EVAH WILL AHH DO?!"

Eat shit, guy.

 

"All I'm saying is you gotta enjoy your motherfuckin' life!" times 40.

 

"Dis shit here, nigga? Dis shit HERE, NIGGA! DIS SHIT, RIGHT HERE, NIGGA! THIS IS THE MOTHAFUCKIN' STUFF YOU NEED TO BE SMOKIN' MAN!"

Sucked watching it edited, though. You might think my fire alarm was having a seizure.