The Super Bowl Weekend | I don't give a SHIT | DRUNK THREAD

WTF?

I got engaged this week.

I went out drinking for a night with friends and ended up home at ten oclock.

Apparently somehow I got old.

Four Goddamn years without smoking and I still crave nicotine every time I drink.

 

Shouldn't you be away from the internet?

 

Oooh, Giada's boobs are about to tell us what they think of chocolate and chiles.

 

You got old?! I didn't go anywhere tonight. My husband has been asleep on the couch most the night. So essentially, I'm home drinking by myself catching up on my shows on the DVR tonight. I've gotten old, and I'm only 22. This is sad in so many ways.

 

Djing again tonight, it's 10:30 and I'm already well on my way to being fucked up. God help me there better not be any unruly idiots in here tonight.

 

I think Symon had an orgasm as he was cutting into his pork belly. Can't say I blame him.

 

Whenever a fight broke out on the dancefloor, I used to throw on "Thunderstruck" no matter what the crowd was that night . I was safely twelve feet in the air, fuck everybody else. It was like watching Roadhouse in 3-D, but with less flannel and no Jimmy.

 

Well, this bar has no bouncers, so if a fight breaks out then I'm it. I'm a big guy but nowhere nowhere near 6'2+ bouncer material.

 

That's why the lord blessed us with a little thing called "Bear Scare"

 

Dear TiB, I have a confession to make:

Were it not for the fact that hipsters and douchebags have monopolized them and rendered them unwearable by people with a hint of self-awareness, I would probably buy, and perhaps even wear, a flat cap. Unfortunately I lack the true English country bona fides that would enable me to pull off such a look.

I might even wear one while smoking a pipe. I would then say, "Hmmm. Yes. Quite." thoughtfully at random intervals.

On my walk home from the library I passed by a bunch of freshman on their way to their college formal ("college" in the Oxford-Cambridge sense of college, not overall academic institution). I smelled rye and coke on one of the kid's breath so powerfully, and from so far away, that I thought it would catch fire if the kid smoked. And by "rye", well, it smelled like the cheap shit; Crappy Club or Wiser's, mixed with that sticky sweetness of coke. Alcohol apparently does that in the cold - smells even stronger. I think the last rye and coke I ever drank was the day I turned legal. How about that.

Anybody ever tried 40 creek whisky? I've heard very good things, and it's half the price of other good whiskies.

 

Watching the show Toddlers and Tiaras for the first and already turned off last time. I just stopped on it because nothing was on (I swear). But every parent on this show should be taken outside and stoned to death. This is the fucking creepiest show I have seen in a long time. Making 5 year olds look like they are 20.

 

Fucking lame. I'm being "responsible", which means I leave the bar "early", and don't spend "money" on "alcohol".

Amuse me, you fucks.

 

My cat doesn't like it when we dislodge her from our laps for something as mundane as going to the bathroom or getting a drink. I think the only acceptable reason is if we were to spontaneously burst into flame.

I am way too able to spell correctly. Time for another drink.

 

Forty Creek is the stuff we got our older siblings to buy when we were 13 because we could only scrape up 20$ between 6 of us. So yeah, it's cheap, but I still say it's pretty smooth for it's price.

 

A dutch friend of mine gave me a flat cap as a gift three years ago that I wear on very rare occasions. I think the last time I wore it was about 6 months ago.

Truth is, I do kind of feel like a douche in it, but it's a fucking awesome hat so I try not to care. If it was acceptable I'd wear it much more often because I love it. I think the fact that it was a gift and was purchased in Holland gives it an air of non-hipsterness, but of course, nobody would actually know that.

 

Well that's also part of it - half my family is Dutch and many of my older relatives wear flat caps without a hint of irony or douchery.

They also drink a lot of whisky, with only some ice as a mixer (rye especially, Crown Royal in particular). Not that I needed any help with that, though.

 

Man, I can't drink whiskey since college and football games. I have flashbacks to too much cheap whiskey drank out of flasks and the ramifications of drinking too much whiskey out of flasks.

 

Silverado is on AMC. If you like westerns, you need to see this. It's one of the few times Kevin Costner hasn't made me want to punch him in the narts.

 

Don't bad-talk Kevin Costner, I'm in love with the man. Have you seen him in Mr. Brooks? I love it when he plays the bad guy, it's so out of character for him.

 

I just got done watching Paranormal activity. God damn it that movie was terrifying. I need to go get booze now, because the only way I'm sleeping tonight is P.O.D.