The Super Bowl Weekend | I don't give a SHIT | DRUNK THREAD

This is the drunk thread so I suppose I'm allowed to say something that isn't remotely topical. I was almost half way to sleep but thinking about the fact that I live in the ghetto, which led me to thinking about guns and the fact that one of my roommates owns a few, and then about how it might not be a bad idea for me to learn how to use them, which reminded me of my friend going skeet shooting with her redneck step grandpa every Easter since she was 14 when she first held a gun.

So then I thought about my grandpa and how he was a member at this lodge in the middle of nowhere, OH, where old men could fish and shoot stuff and get drunk. Sometimes the whole family tagged along and as kids we used to wander around this field looking for clay pigeons that were still intact. The point is, I just realized that it was the low-rent midwestern equivalent of looking for whole sand dollars on the beach. This probably would've made me feel worse about my life had I not found a complete sand dollar on the beach last weekend. At least I'm moving up in the world.

 

It's a Super Bowl miracle!

Not only am I not hungover today but I've also already got a good start on cleaning house today. I'm not the domestic type so that's a bigger accomplishment for me than it would be for most people.

I think I'm making homemade pizza for dinner tonight. My husband is going to think I'm possessed if I keep this up.

 

You also have a post to write for us.

 

So what has two thumbs and found out that fucking your best friend* after a few shots of tequila isn't a smart idea? *This* guy!

* She's a female, don't get any ideas

On a better note, I was visiting another friend of mine at her Hooters job when I came across this. Stealing it was very tempting. I didn't even know these things actually exist!

 

Holy shit. I thought those were just commercials.
I wonder is the dog thing also exists.

 

Y'all are both right.

Dog thing, only $5

Grooler -- $125 (but currently sold out)

 

I went googling for that grooler after I saw it. $125 is a fucking steal. I paid $90 for my shitty little electric barbecue and I still have to empty out all of my ice cube trays into my stock pot to keep my beer cold on the patio.

I feel like I'm living in the 19th century.

 

Making a chicken wing dip to take to a super bowl party and it is making the house smell just amazing. The weather is supposed to turn to shit this evening and the party is 35 minutes away on a nice day so I am hoping we don't get snowed out and stuck at home. That would leave the entire appetizer for just my husband and I, which by my calculations has about a weeks worth of saturated fat.

 

I went dogsledding this morning on the frozen lake. It was awesome.

It's days like this when I don't really hate the winter.

 

Pregaming for the Super Bowl with some beer and a Friday Night Lights marathon. Fuck yeah.

Having a small party (10-15 people) at my house. I think everyone is bringing something delicious. I'm going to start making a four-layer dip here in a few minutes, but it's going to suck. I got Medium salsa instead of Hot because my roommates are pussy bitches.

 

Did you make sure to put the elderly on those ice floes and leaving them out to die?

EDIT: Hold on, that dog jacket with the pockets to hold beer and condiments presents a serious conflict. On the one hand, man law clearly states that your dog isn't to "wear" anything (with reasonable accomodations for snow/ice and extreme weather). On the other hand, with this device, your dog can now bring you beer. Send the dog to the kitchen, woman takes the beer and puts it in the jacket, and sends the dog back to you. She now has no reason to ever leave the kitchen. And you don't need to go to the trouble of pouring ice into a bucket to keep your beer cold and in a convenient location.

 

Oh my god, what a weekend for me. Went down to Red Deer last night for a Dodgeball tournament (yeeeah) and played for most of the day. Got back to the hotel and started drinking for what would be an epic 10 hour drinking marathon. Started at hotel with jacuzzi beers, which moved on to shower beers, which lead to getting dressed beers, which lead to more and more beers. Went to some shitty pub, where they were holding the banquet and just drank until they kicked us out. Then we went to some dance place - I'm fairly certain I got to see every single slutty woman from Red Deer that night, all packed into one giant room.

Needless to say, I'm finally home and still pretty hungover.

 

I forgot the fucking avocados and am now too drunk to drive back to the store.

 

A Super Bowl party without guacamole is a fucking sham.

 

Apparently Shannon Sharpe is the first black man to know the words to a Who song. Also, I think he might be drunk.

 

I'll be upping the alcohol intake because I sure as fuck won't be going to my buddy's Superbowl party tonight. My daughter is acting like a monster, the wife is all kinds of pissed off, so we're punishing the Missanthropic by not letting her visit with my buddy's 3 daughters while we watch the game. Therefore, we all stay the fuck home.

If any of you are thinking of having kids, pm me, I've got some eye opening news for you. It ain't the fucking Brady Bunch, I'll tell you that much.