The Super Bowl Weekend | I don't give a SHIT | DRUNK THREAD

At least she didn't poke the holes in it after you put it on. That would have really fucked you up.

Just got back from Kansas City. Nice town, excellent BBQ, and with a lot of time to kill before the flight home, I unknowingly joined my TiB brethren in beginning the drunk thread early. I highly recommend Kansas City's own Boulevard Beer.

 

Once during a one night stand, I wasn't really into the guy, but it had been a wicked long time since I had a dick anywhere in or around my vag. So I gladly invited him back to the house for anything I could possibly get. After I ripped off my clothes and was waiting anticipatorily for said insertion, he stuck a few fingers in and responded with a:
"Wow you're tight. This is going to be fun."
"What??"
"Yeah, you're way tighter than my girlfriend."
Watch me dry up faster than a piss stain in Death Valley.

 

With randoms I pull out whether I have a condom on or not. When I was in high school I pulled out after coming with a condom on one time only to find the condom broke and her vagina was filled with my sperm. She responded, "Yeah, it definitely felt like you were coming in me, but I didn't want to say anything."

Now, it's coming out regardless. There's only been one time since then when the condom broke, I pulled out as per my usual style and came all over her back and some of it got in her hair. She wasn't pleased, but when I asked her whether she'd rather have the cum in her she cheered right up.

In other news, fuck condoms anyways. What, like some little piece of rubber or latex or whatever is magically gonna stop you from getting pregnant or my diseases. Ok Hermione, whatever you say...

 

How drunk do you have to be to *not* feel it when a condom breaks? There's an appreciable increase in sensation, and a sound like "thwip" of the rubber retracting.

 

Yeah, my knees clamped shut when I read that. Not cool.

Not to bust up the safe sex chatter, but........ I made mini upside-down pineapple cakes earlier today and I just now had a chance to sample them. I AM A BAKING GODDESS, MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Seriously, they're delicious. They look so old-fashioned, but they're moist and fruity and taste like candy! I'm normally a pie person, too.

Here is the recipe. I modified it because I wanted many mini-cakes though. Now that I'm in the baking mood, I really want to make some other stuff I haven't tried before. Any suggestions, TiB?

 

Re: The Super Bowl Weekend | I don't give SHIT | DRUNK THREAD

What has eight balls and rapes Mexicans?

Running lights for a concert on Friday and Saturday, looking forward to some sweet afterparty action.

 

Dude, I was in the zone. Drunk, 16, and excited as hell, I expect I was probably too focused on dead bodies or Eddie Murray's knees trying not to come to notice that shit.

 

At the gym in the sauna there was a lady covered head to toe in black garbage bags, with a towel over her head. She didn't make a move the entire time. It was weird.

Now that I think about it, I hope it was a woman.....

 

Random medchem fact for the day: large breast size has been implicated in occurrence of type II diabetes. Quick, lose 10% of your body weight. It's your only hope.

In news unrelated to medicinal chemistry, we had a professional misconduct lecture the other day, and an example of sexual harassment was from a physician who, in dealing with an asthmatic woman who wanted to quit smoking, said, "Great! I'll be glad to help you with quitting smoking. I just need to start you off with a pelvic exam."

 

Try getting ahold of "Baking from My Home to Yours" by Dorie Greenspan. Best baking cookbook out there. I don't have it with me, but when you think of something you want to bake, pester me via PM later and I'll send you a recipe. She's got a recipe for any pie, cake, or cookie you can think of. I made two cheesecakes and a carrot cake from her recipes at Christmas, and the boyfriend's put in a request for a carrot cake for his birthday in two weeks.

 

Wouldn't that be because large breast size is also related to larger body mass overall, which would skew the data? Fat chicks don't tend to be A cups. If they considered breast size relative to overall body mass then I'd be considered, but as a non-morbidly obese D cup, I'll have a cupcake please.

 

Yup. Classic case of correlation misinterpreted as causation. Big boobs don't cause diabetes, obesity does. But, obesity also causes big honkers. So yeah, if you want you can draw a line from tits to diabetes, but that line would have to go through a whole bunch of fupa's and cottage cheese to get there.

I honestly feel pretty annoyed that people are trying to put a negative spin on big breasts. There ain't nothing wrong with a big ole' set of titties, ladies. Be proud, and check out the boobie thread while you're at it.

 

Re: The Super Bowl Weekend | I don't give SHIT | DRUNK THREAD

Brett Favre is old.

 

I was fucking my girlfriend when I was 17, using a condom. I had never gone bareback at that point. Being 17, I could cum while fucking her and not even slow down, just keep going and stay hard. So I was doing that. But I guess the added pressure of the jizz in the latex made it break or something, because I heard that little thwiiip Crazy Wolf mentioned, and all of a sudden the sex felt... Well, better. But I just kept going.

A couple minutes later I peered down at my dick (we were doing it doggy style in her dark laundry room while her parents were home) and tried to figure out if there was anything but the base of the condom left. There wasn't. And since I'd already blown my load five minutes earlier, I freaked out, and started digging around in her with two fingers trying to pull out as much as I could. I told her what happened, she squealed and ran for the shower. Upon turning on the light, I saw most of the load on my pants on the ground. Must popped the condom on a backswing.

 

I heard there were going to be a lot of Heineken commercials this Sunday.

 

I just got home from work and opened a beer. I figure I'm allowed to drink at 10 am since I went to work at 4 this morning. It's snowing like crazy outside, so I'm going to stay inside where it's warm and get drunk.

 

Can't go to the game because God hates me.

Won't be throwing a Super Bowl party because I'm mad I can't go, and am still trying to move my tickets.

Trapped at work fighting off bad chinese food/free table service at Gold Room hangover.

Damn this thread.

 

I was thinking of going to the liquor store at 10am but decided against it, since all I'm planning on buying is 3 bottles of scotch (for the people in NYC, the discount liquor store in Astor place on Broadway is so cheap). I'll probably go back later today.