The Super Bowl Weekend | I don't give a SHIT | DRUNK THREAD

It's 830am. Good morning fuckers.

Spoiler

 

It is 9:30 in the morning. I watched the sunrise smoking green out of a beercan with the bride, bottle of tequila at our feet. Damn, the caribbean is stunning. White sands and turquoise water are going to be hard to leave. I am seriously considering staying...

 

It's about 30 degrees, windy, and raining here. Damn I'm jealous. All I can think about is my cruise to the Bahamas over the summer and how warm it was. PIMPTRESS, fuck you.

 

He also said he wanted a handful of my balls.

That's racist.

 

Fuck, I am hungover. Sushi for lunch...this may be a bad idea.

 

Why does scotch always trick me into going to Lowes and blowing tons of money???

Chater, I'm apologetic and impressed at the same time. Hard to believe that in the 17 posts prior to this one I can use enough "smileys" you have now told me to "test you". I will try and keep my happy go lucky, almost always smiling personality to myself and lurk more.

 

Because scotch is the manliest known drink and thus commands you to engage in manly activities, namely, going to hardware stores.

 

I drinked earlier, then I done a poo (but not a sick). Now I drink again. Check me one time whitey-I'm a Yardie.

 

Baby it's cold outside... but the skiing is fucking great. The only thing that would make the conditions better would be for all that Mid-Atlantic snowfall to mosey up to ME.

Friend of a friend is coming along on the trip because he offered to drive the Saturday arrival crew up. He has a nice new SUV with nav and even though I insisted on giving him directions because of the number of roads up here bearing the same name he refused. Of course the nav system brought him to exactly where I thought it would. A tree farm that's about 80 miles away from our house. Sucka.

5 hours of non-stop skiing, a six pack, chili, and some bourbon and it's time for a nap. Wake up refreshed and head out for some trouble.

 

It's a fucking snowpocalypse in DC right now. I imagine everything will shut down and people will run around screaming in incontinent terror for the next day or two.

I've got a question for the Idiot Board: what constitutes a bender? Me and my friends have been having this argument for a while. I say a week of drinking, spent mostly in an alcoholic daze. They wish to water down the definition (and probably their drinks too, the heathens).

 

Wow, it's about 78 and overcast today. I really thought it was going to be more like 85 and sunny. Damn weather.

First Fridays, oh are they fun. But they also end up being much more expensive than a normal day. Shit everythings two dollars, I'll just buy rounds for the group of 8. Not always the best logic. 80 dollars later fuckckcckckkk.

Got the digits of an unbelievably hot asian. She could be in a porn. She's having a Super Bowl party tomorrow and I'm going. That's right, time to make her ugly boyfriend seem like a tool and swoop in. Of course it'd be a whole lot easier if she didn't have a boyfriend. Why does every attractive girl have to have one anyway, I mean, I'm an attractive guy and I don't have a girlfriend. What the hell? Sexist double standards.


PS. The knuckles on my right hand are all swollen up and painful. Now, I don't remember coming home last night. I know I took a taxi but I don't actually remember doing it. I'm wondering if I may have had a run in with some neighbors or anything after I got home. Lord knows my sober mind wants to punch half of them half the time. Drunk mind, watch out I'm swinging.

I think I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette with a few people sitting in the courtyard right now, figure out how big of an ass I am.

 

I just spent the last hour sending honest facebook messages and talking to an ex. I'm gonna regret evey single one of them when I wake up.

 

I'd be willing to go as short as a long weekend, Thursday - Monday, but you better be drinking the whole time.

 

Fuck you, while I'm on one. You better be drunk at work for at least a week.

That's how I roll, anyway. Then again, I don't consider my daily life to be "a Bender". I may be fucked in the head, take note...

 

Went to Destin, FL for the night last night. We stayed at a $3million three story mansion. It was fucking amazing. This place would cost about $7000 to rent for a week but we got to stay for free because we're awesome like that. Has its own private pool and jacuzzi, each bedroom has a bar and seating area off to the side and a massive bathroom with huge showers and bathtubs. I passed out in a queen size bed of a room that could have been a closet if not for the bed and TV. Oh every room had two at least 42" LCD's in them.
Anywho, my friends and I suited up (HIMYM style) and we drank Grey goose and patron with a couple chicks and we all went out to the bars...which were kinda dead, but oh well. We were living rich for one night. But yeah, woke up this morning still drunk and lost my watch. Damn it was a nice watch. Went to find a place to get some brunch (also HIMYM style) but realized it was 2pm on a Saturday and brunch is a Sunday thing, so I got a heart attacks worth of nacho's and a bloody mary...awesome combo right? We're debating whether or not to go back tonight. I don't see what the counter argument is.

 

Had some Syberg's hot sauce mailed to me for the big weekend since I no longer live in STL.

Please, do yourself a favor and try this stuff if you have the opportunity.

 

I think you might be gay. Want me to tell your mom?

 

I've been smelling mac and cheese everywhere lately. I may have to buy a box on the way home from the library.

Also, there's a couple surly eastern european guys sitting a few tables over. They're not speaking English. I'm always conflicted about situations like this. Depending on the language, it can be more distracting and irritating in English; and at other times, not knowing the stupid things they're talking about is a comfort. Who knows.

No, tell his superiors. Quickly, before they repeal don't ask don't tell. It's your last chance to ruin his career.

 

Nah, let's just go with a blanket party. That'll get the job done.