Fuck if I know, I haven't had eggs to dinner in years. If I had them on hand I'd likely be craving a whole roasted chicken or something. And if you are implying other sexy ways of getting protein, the husband is on the shit list for micromanaging my 2 hours of driveway shoveling from the warmth of a conference call inside. After I'd finished that whole darn thing
He needs to stay! News just said 8inches in Olathe and still snowing. I think i 70 is closed. I would guess a least 3 hours minimum! He'd save money by staying at a hotel
I'd suggest that your husband could make his contrition by going to the grocery store and buy eggs, but then he'd just forget the eggs and we all know how that would turn out.
Okay, I feel like I'm stating an unpopular opinion, but I do not care for Chick-fil-A and particularly do not care for their waffle fries. There. I said it. No going back now. However, I think it was very nice of them when they fed all those poor stranded Atlantians for free. And Home Depot who opened up their store so people could sleep in it.
I have finally found the end of all things: Spoiler ...the internet is herby shut down, forever. Go home, everybody.
Don't shut the internet down yet. I need my Dixie Bandit update! I have been waiting days to hear how terrible/awesome jail is.
Who has ever thought of jail as awesome? On the other hand, he may be institutionalized by now. The world's just too big on the outside.
Their lemonade with Three Olives Cake Vodka is fucking delicious - homo haters or not. Their fries are not delicious.
I figure maybe the guy they told if he ever got caught drinking again he would spent the next four years in prison may think it is awesome. With this knowledge that same man proceeded to drive his vehicle, while under the influence, without a license to do so. How in the fuck do you interpret that any way other than he thinks jail must be awesome?
Seriously though, this is the most upsetting fucking thing in my list of 1st world problems. I'm always by the goddamn Chik-Fil-A on a Sunday and guess what? FUCK YOU PARKER! NO DELICIOUS SPICY CHICKEN SANDWICH AND WAFFLE FRIES FOR YOU! BECAUSE JESUS! Chik-Fil-A is so goddamn good, they came out and said "Fuck the gays" and everyone was so upset, trying to but they kept pumping out those sandwiches didn't miss a beat.
You're mistaken. The end of the internet would be the pic/gif/story/meme that would make me want to quit existence altogether due to its unsurpassible combination of failure, unbelievability, and disgust. That pic was actually funny and made me laugh.
Well fuck, dude. You gotta get your car home, right? Who cares if you mow down ten people at a bus stop? Beats getting towed.
Approximately 18 months ago I was at a light and using my cellphone's GPS when I was pulled over by the local cop and given a texting ticket- a $150 fine and a point on my license. Texting can be dangerous, but I was innocent because- A) I was at a light and a risk to no one- an assholish move by the cop, as I'd come to find later texting tickets are rarely issued. Everyone at city hall wanted to know which cop issued the ticket. B) I wasn't texting. So in leu of writing a check, I went to traffic court and sat through 5 hours of arraignments- offenders reading apologies to the court, inmates in shackles coming in and getting heard while the those of us with jobs rotted away. When it was my turn, next to last of at least 50 people, I plead not guilty and requested a jury trial. I knew the scope of this law was too large and, as one of my cop friends would verify, the DA would need to subpoena my phone records. For a $150 fine, hardly worth their trouble. I plead not guilty and requested a jury trial that would start in a few months. I was told by the clerk I could still pay the ticket in the meantime if I didn't want to go to trial. A week or so after the arraingment I said "fuck it" and mailed in a check to pay the ticket. Fast forward to Thanksgiving in St. Louis and I'm pulled over for a minor infraction only to discover my license was suspended because the courts didn't accept checks (they said they returned it) and I had an FTA or "failure to appear" because of it. I had to have someone come pick me up and spent several hundred dollars reinstating my license after that. Finally I had my day in court today, plead guilty, and was asked by the judge why an educated man makes idiotic decisions. I really, really wanted to go toe-to-toe with him on all of the bullshit involved here and he was wasting my time just as much as I was wasting his, so on so forth... But I didn't. I was representing myself and knew I could easily tread in contempt if I became confrontational. After $600 in court fees for the suspended license and all the time and effort spent, I gave up. If I was retired, I would love to continue this fight, but I caved.
So after an awkward miscommunication yesterday at Starbucks a teenage barista asked me yesterday if I was "Drunk already" and rolled her eyes at me. Let me emphasize the fact that I was not drunk, the teenager was just being a teenager. I contacted Starbucks and now I'm getting free coffee and corporate is going to raise hell about the incident. Apparently they are contacting the branch manager and the district manager. I don't know how much more they could do. I appreciate them taking it seriously. I wish I could be there when that barista is informed of her mistake. So in summary, I got called a drunk, but now I'm getting free coffee. I consider this a win. Btw, the miscommunication was about the vanilla bottle dispensers. I saw her putting some in a drink which I thought was mine, I asked about it because I never noticed it before, she then pretended she had no idea what I was talking about then asked if I was wasted.
Holy shit did Bill Nye own that dipshit Ken Ham in the Kentucky debate. I used to think Nye was a little obnoxious, he's quickly turning into a new hero for me with the way he champions facts.