The TIB guide to Men and Women

I think you're overthinking and marginalising what is really an endemic thing. By that, I mean take any activity you expend time, effort and maybe money in. Are you going to do it if there's no payoff for you? Even charity, with limits, gives you something back. Why would anyone want to do that for something that ultimately they have no interest in.

Even the mercy fuck usually goes awry, and that's probably as close as you're going to get to charity in terms of interpersonal romantic relationships without serious mental dysfunction.

Forget "high" value so much, and just think value. If we don't perceive a sense of value in doing something, we won't do it. If we don't perceive enough value in it, we're less likely to do it. Take that all the way up to "I get maximum value for little effort" and you start climibing over your own family members to get to it. Temper that with the individual tastes of the person as to what they're looking for, and what weight they put on things.

Same thing with relationships. This part of it is not rocket science.

If you don't possess the common traits to a sufficient level that people are looking for, then you're not going to get acceptance in that regard from the common person.
If you've got an individual quirk, then the rarer that is the harder it will be to find someone to satisfy it - otherwise you have to compromise.

A good indication of that is the BDSM scene. I know girls who "need" certain things to feel happy in a relationship. If you can't provide that, they're unlikely to give you the time of day.

 

< LMAO !

 

"Nice" is another word for pussy when a woman describes a guy she turns down.


Stop taking what women say so literally. They're batshit insane and thrive off of estrogen.

 

Let me add to that:

I used to be roommates with this guy, we'll call him Ronnie. He would have a different girl over every night to fuck. Strippers, chicks he'd pick up at bars, whatever. He was a good looking guy, very, very, smooth. He would have them parade around the apartment naked.

Sure, that's sounds pretty damn awesome, until you realize he was 36, and they didn't give a shit about him, and he didn't give a shit about them. I talked to the guy two years ago via e-mail, and guess what? He's now 50. And he's alone. Ronnie spent so much time and money trying to impress these one night stands that he doesn't have a meaningful relationship. At 50, unless you are a multi-millionaire or some shit, being able to go around and pick up chicks is exponentially more difficult than at 25.

Being a "PUA" or just trying to meet n' fuck sounds great when you're 22 or 23. Hell, I had my fair share of one night stands and all that when I was younger. I also didn't get anywhere close to being content or happy in life until I started learning from that shit and doing what Nett said. Going out and trying to get a chick to fuck you is all well and good, but hey, you can go jerk off, too.

Or, as my wise father once said, "You can go out and try to fuck a chick, or you can go out and not try and probably succeed. Women can smell out the guys who are "trying" from a mile away. You can't cover it with cologne. Want to get to know a woman? Want to keep a woman? Then be somebody worth knowing. In short, don't bother "trying", because it's when you're not looking that the ones you would want will come around."

 

What I find amusing that based on your own prejudices and assumptions; you think that I'm not already trying to do just that.

 

I think its pretty clear from your language and attitude that their assumptions are the result of accurate analysis. Either quit worrying about your ego and actually focus on the advice you are getting (that you asked for) or fuck off.

 

Its more that we think you're failing at it spectacularly if you think roissy has anything of value to contribute to that process

 

There is a difference between acknowledging something that has opened your eyes to the wider world, and treating it as gospel. I'll be honest - I've been reading Roissy for years because I find it entertaining. Through those posts I learned about Athol Kay and a couple of other bloggers that aren't, as Scootah so eloquently stated it, misogynistic douches.

Roissy is merely one end of the spectrum, with the other being dominated by the feminazi misandrists (Dan Savage is somewhere in the relatively sane middle). If the shock value of the pompous posturing on either side is enough to crack someone's worldview and give them the chance to explore a wider set of opinions - I'm in favor of it. Even 'The Chateau' has something to contribute; if only to serve as a shining example of what NOT to do.

Focus Chocolate? Cookie Dough Ice Cream? Yeah, they're good - but not THAT good. Women, explain yourselves.

 

Still curious about this, for the record.

 

Start by asking them ... Why do you ask ?

 

I'm of the opinion that it doesn't matter. Who you did before me and who I did before you aren't relevant to our relationship. However, my ex insisted I tell him and was obviously upset that my number was higher than his, but tried to make it seem like he didn't care. Current dude and I somehow ended up having this talk while extremely intoxicated. Luckily, he genuinely doesn't care that my number is significantly higher than his; he has security in the fact that he's the only one who has ever gotten me off.

 

I see a shrink, it helps SO much.

Especially being a woman, it keeps me from having rocks thrown at me, keeps my value up, ya know?

Stealth- Seriously dude, you sound like a fucking retard. Establishing yourself as having a "higher value" is impossible for a healthy relationship. I'm not looking for someone better than me, or any other guys in the room in any of the ways you specified. I'm looking for the guy that makes me laugh, clicks with me (chemistry!) and cares about me.

It's VERY simple. If a woman is trying to trade up, so to speak, then she has fucking problems. I guess she may be a good match for someone of your mentality.

 

I've been asked a couple times, once responded with the first verse of this... followed by smiling. She got the hint.

 

That's my opinion too. As far as I'm concerned, there's two people in this bedroom (at least...usually). Don't bring anyone else into this.

The problem is that they ask anyway, and they seem to want the 'right' answer to a question that has no right answer. My strategy so has has been to communicate that I don't care, and that I slightly disapprove of their caring. If it's merely a curiosity, whatever, but if she cares...it's going in the minus column.

 

250lb men jump several thousand feet out of airplanes and into war zones with bullets flying by with no problem. The 5'2 girl at the bar? This is the gorilla on their back. It's kind of fucked up how that works isn't it?

 

As a general policy, I answer those sort of questions honestly - and people who can't deal with the answer aren't people I'm equipped to be involved with. I mean my number is somewhere north of 'whore' and I stopped counting when I was 23. But I disclose all of my current involvement and have a quarterly STI test.

Fundamentally, do you want a partner who can't cope with the fact that you had an active sex life? Or an inactive sex life as the case may be? Or does pretty much everyone posting on these boards actually want a partner who's sex positive and appreciates a partner who enjoys exploring their sexuality? I'm sure my case is more extreme than most - but I can't think of many things worse than a partner who's uptight about those kind of sexual metrics. I can't even imagine getting involved with a sexually inexperienced partner.

 

That's what I try to convey to my friends when they wonder out loud about the girl they're dating, or want to date...that never in the history of time has a girl gone "Yeah, I was kind of on the fence about this guy....but then he got upset about how many dicks have been inside me, and it just kind of made me realize that he must really really care about me and accepts me for who I am. It's just fantastic."

I had one friend even going so far as to breaking up with his girlfriend because he couldn't handle the fact that a fantastic looking girl in her early 20's, who was as sweet as could possibly be and successful as hell, had let sixteen other guys put their dicks in her. Just...couldn't fathom it. She was a WHORE. He of course now cries about her, a year later.

I like to use a combination of simple math, blanket statements, made up statistics, and hand gesticulations to prove a point to these friends.

Me: Dude, quit being that guy. Here, look...it's basic math. Most studies postulate that women lose their virginity at 17. Average age of marriage is 27. That's ten years of fucking. Let's take out two years for the relationship that ended in marriage. Eight years of fucking. Now...would you call a good looking, single girl a whore for fucking a guy once every four months?
Him: Well...no. Yeah...but, not. Not really. No.
Me: Okay, so....eight years of fucking, times three guys a year. That's twenty four dudes. Let's say she got tired of it, settled down with a guy for a year or two. Take five guys out. That's still nineteen dudes.
Him: ....nineteen guys?
Me: Shit, I forgot about their freshman year of college. Add those dudes back in, but make one black, and throw in a girl if you're lucky.
Him: Jesus fucking christ....twenty four guys...
Me: And we're not even talking about the random dicks she sucked, guys she didn't even like enough to bang.

Some people take it as a joke, and then kind of realize they're worrying about stuff that they can't control, losing their shit over stuff that happened years ago, when they didn't know the girl, while they were presumably stuffing their dicks into other girls. Others...well, not so much.