The TIB guide to Men and Women

Right. Because I'm sure you would say that to even a reasonably cute girl with fake tits who's into you.

"No, I mean...I like them, but a pair of real A cups they are not..."

 

They all feel like a bag of sand anyways.

 

Part of reason why fucking a girl on the rag can be really good is because you KNOW she's not getting pregnant. I've also heard that it feels really good for her during that time of the month and orgasms can relieve cramping. I generally don't care one way or the other. If she's not up for it, thats fine. But you won't hear a peep out of me.

You put down a towel, fuck her stupid, and clean up after.

 

I'm not saying I would reject a girl because she had fake D's. What's done is done. If she had real A's and she was considering going up to D's, I would encourage her not to do it.

 

It goes back to the feminist argument of porn being degrading to all women. Some women buy into that argument, others don't. Luckily, I married one who doesn't.

 

Dunno, she says it grosses her out. Period. (zing!)

In the end, I don't really care much, though. Early on, she told me, "I don't know why you're upset. After all, it's head week."

"What week?"

"Head week."

"What what?"

(zipper pull)

"Awesome"

 

Great, leave it to the guy with kids who's been married for 87 years to rain on everyone else's parade with wisdom drawn from experience.

Go pick up a gallon of milk from the store or whatever.

 

My Guy sniffs his shorts before he puts them on. After he takes his socks off, he sometimes sniffs them as well.
What. The. hell. is that nonsense?

 

(awkwardly raises hand) I occasionally do this.

The first is to make sure that the shorts are actually clean. For me, it's just a failsafe, as my dirty laundry goes into a drawer because I can't have it in an open space. I don't want to have a brainfart and put on shorts that I ran in yesterday.

The second is to make sure that his feet aren't freaking nasty. If his socks smell terrible, then it's time for some Gold Bond. Sniffing your socks is the easiest way to see if you have a fungus problem.

 

You honestly don't wash every pair of jeans and socks after every time you use them do you? Jeans and socks don't need to be washed after every use, because of this men have evolved a sense of smell that determines when these items need to be washed.

 

yes, I do wash my socks after every wear...I can't fathom not washing them.
AND -
I wear shorts with liners in them to work, so...yeah, those get washed between wearings too. I wouldn't wear dirty underpants, I'm not wearing dirty shorts. Ick.

 

I do wash my socks after every wearing, but it depends on the shorts.

The nylon athletic shorts I go running in? Definitely. The Dickies denim-style fabric ones? Sniff test.

 

You could just call them jorts.

 

But they're not really denim...



vs

 

Lets not bring boxers and underwear into this discussion, because those always need to be washed after use always, anyone who doesn't do that is homeless or disgusting. That goes for athletic shorts too. But jeans and shorts are totally fair game for the sniff test. If all I'm doing is sitting around all day, then my jeans/shorts are really obtaining any disgusting oder. Also, my jeans and shorts tend to shrink when I wash them and my skinny ass needs all the space they can in my pants/shorts.

 

I'll also man up here and say I do the sniff test, but it's part of a 2 part test: the first part is check for oil or other stains on clothing and then the sniff test is administered - sniff test only administered when stain test administered with eyeball is negative. As for underwear: wear once, wash. No exceptions.

As for boobs: real. I probably wouldn't know fake boobs if they hit me right in the face, though.*

*Because, you know, I have such a large sample size in my past to compare to.

 

It's the same thing with girls who like hairy guys. Some give a shit, some don't. Personally I don't give a shit as evidenced when I've made store runs for tampons.