First of all, wow, it absolutely sucks what happened and you both have my sympathy and respect. Anyway, my only real piece of advice here is to ask him how much he wants to hear about this. Guys are different, some would prefer to know all about everything you're doing so their imaginations don't run wild, others would rather just not think about it. The best person to tell you his preference about this is him. Good luck and here's hoping he gets out early on parole or good behavior or the like.
I want to analyze the fact that men are hilarious and women are not. I'm goofy funny at times but that's not what I mean. Male comedians are way funnier than any female comedian. Most female comedians, in my opinion, are bitchy and overtly crass. Maybe it stems from the fact that the male anatomy is pretty hilarious to begin with. I mean, picture a naked man running. That shit is pretty hysterical.
I think it's fairly accepted that men use humor as a way to impress women or assert themselves as the alpha male (belittling and whatnot). Speaking in terms of evolution, the funny ones got to mate and pass on their funny genes. Here's some science: Research And if that's not enough, just watch Lisa Lampanelli's stand-up.
Here's a question I have that baffles me. My wife MUST have a book and two magazines every fucking place we go. Driving to the gas station? Book and two magazines. Going to the park with the kids? Book and two magazines. Going to an amusement park? Book and two magazines. Doesn't matter if we're leaving for 10 minutes or 3 weeks, book and two magazines. 99% of the time, she doesn't even bother to open the fucking things. What the fuck is up with that? Oh, and let's just open up the purse discussion. Everything I need I can carry in my pockets: Cell phone, wallet, keys. What the hell do you need to carry around a 12 - 20 pound purse full of crap for? I mean, you can't use everything in there every day. And, lastly: How many bottles of lotion does one person need to keep in their husband/significant others car? There are 8 different bottles of hand lotion in MY car. Open my glove box, and lotion comes out like quarters out of a slot machine.
The magazine thing is weird, but I take whatever book it is I am reading wherever I go. You never know when you will come across 5 or 10 spare minutes of nothing time, so you can take out the book and kill that time. I've taken paperbacks in my briefcase to court.
She is afraid that she is going to get reallly bored with you? How many personal hygiene products do you need to be socially acceptable on a regular basis? Not many, but women have to keep the lipstick maintained, hair perfect, and we really do need corks for surprise periods. Plus, we multitask more than men, and therefore require a bag versus a pocket.
This annoys me as well. I am not funny. Not even a little bit. The times I AM funny are completely inadvertent and more a result of some dry observation I've made about a situation. The cleverness required to come up with a witty remark eludes me. I WISH I were funny.
I ask myself this a LOT. My (current) purse is huge to begin with and I accumulate even more shit because if it's size. I would survive without probably 90% of this but I never know when I might need it. what's in my bag Spoiler wallet medium sized makeup bag tiny notebook travel size hair serum mini hair spray mini hemp body butter mini aromatherapy lotion hand cream 2 books of matches work ID badge bottle of ibuprofen spare sunglasses 4 pens 2 mechanical pencils tweezers several bobby pins/ponytail holders 3 Stila lip glazes spearmint Altoids 3 tampons Kleenex pocket pack 2 Gatorade single powder packs nail file whatever was in the mailbox empty water bottle bandaids dog leash moist wipes plus phone & keys when I'm out
Humor is a mating sign - it shows social aptitude and confidence. I gotta go evo-psych on this one. It also explains why women are a lot more aesthetically pleasing than men. They just have to stand around and look pretty. Hey, don't shoot the messenger...
I suck at this. I have a ruck sack I use for my bag - it's got my laptop and my Nook in it. I also have some lipglosses in it. When we go out? The ruck stays home. I carry a wallet and my phone. If we go to a bar, and I'm wearing jeans, my ID and my money/card are in my front pocket. I hate carrying a purse. HATE it. Ok, reading this makes me feel like I suck at being a girl. Really? People carry this stuff around?
Do you know why men don't carry purses? Spoiler Because women do. I can't count the number of times I saw my dad turn to my mom (or my friends' husbands turn to them) and say, "Can you put this in your purse?" The same people who make fun of a heavy purse will turn to you and say, "Hey, do you have a [whatever] on you?" and will not bat an eye about asking for it as you dig through your purse.
To be fair, we have the advantage of having actual pockets, that you can put things in. Hell, I can usually put a paperback book in my back pocket. As far as I can tell, the pockets on womens' clothes appear to be decorative, or for carrying things no larger than chapstick.
Because we don't want to lug a pack of crap around, all day, every day. I hated having to carry around a backpack to classes back in the day.
My brother actually has a system he goes with on this subject as far as guys are concerned; he's a guy so its pretty funny. It's god's way of compensating. If you're a guy with a tiny dick you'll be funny as hell and super smart. If you've got an average dick you might be either super smart or funny as hell and not so much in the other category. If you're dumb and not very funny you'll have a huge dick. That's my brother's position but its crazy how often he's right based on our sample of friends.
I had a classmate who was one of the creepiest motherfuckers around. He would stare at people, carried 6 knives him at all times, and always had this blank mouth-breathing expression. He was always getting in trouble because his room looked like a dump. I always wondered how he was able to get girls. He ended up dropping his cell phone one day, and one of my friends grabbed it and started going through his pictures. The guy had taken a picture of himself naked and flexing (poorly) to send to his girlfriend. Next time the guy showed up, my friend said, "I fucking hate you. Why the hell did YOU get a horse cock? Fuck."
You 'sample' your friend's penis sizes? Honour system or peer review? No way. I've asked girls to carry exactly two things in their purses - bottles of spirits and stolen glasses, for easy entrances and exits from bars, respectively. I have girls asking me to carry shit for them basically every time I go out. Guys, you know why you should support purse/Sherpa hybrids, and no pockets on women's clothes? What would you prefer to look at? A pair of skin-tight jeans/skirts showcasing a beautiful ass, or a misshapen pastiche of lumpy, over-filled pockets?
I'm usually in the 'purses are dumb' camp. But I was have just started a job with extensive hardware tasks - so I'm again going to be carrying my multi-tool, pocket knife, ratcheting screwdriver set, flash light, glasses, zip ties, voltmeter and patching kit and test cables all day every day at work for the next month or two. Given that that's in addition to my usual smart phone, ID cards, keys, wallet, usb key, sunglasses and bottle of water. Suddenly the stupid purse seems less stupid.