Of course everyone is going to say "Be yourself." No shit. But realistically...no one is their full selves around a new significant other. Look at the page of girls saying that they don't fart. Our real selves fart. But "new relationship" self doesn't. Realistically, what we all try to be is the best version of ourselves. It's not a lie. Or at least...it shoudn't be. It's more of a varnish. We try to display the traits of ourselves that we like while downplaying those we don't. We try our best to be a little more friendly, a little less selfish, a little less gross, etc. than we usually are. It's like the best song on an album, or the best painting is a museum. We lead with the part that we think is most likely to work.
Courtship analogy (bear with me): If y'all ever watch HGTV, you'll see a ton of shows centered around the concept that buyers look for certain things in a home and sellers try their utmost to provide those things in order to get their house off the market. Sometimes, buyers will flat-out reject a home because it doesn't have enough bathrooms, or the linen closets would only work for Barbie. These are things the seller can't do anything about- their home simply doesn't have the tangible qualities the buyer is looking for. This happens in the dating world also...if she's looking for someone who looks like Ryan Reynolds, you probably won't be making the cut. It's harsh, but that's life. However, if the potential buyer is pleased with the tangible qualities of the home but absolutely disgusted by the decor, paint choices, furniture arrangements, etc., they'll usually move along to another house. Why? It's not like that shit matters, right? After the seller moves out, isn't the buyer going to just repaint everything anyhow and move their own shit in and arrange it all in a manner that aesthetically pleases them? Probably. But what most of these sellers are missing is the fact that the majority of buyers don't want to move into something that is going to take a fuckton of work in order to make them happy in their living space.* So HGTV hires decorators, feng shui professionals, and "color specialists" to neutralize the more jarring aspects of a home so that it will appeal to the widest market of buyers. Similarly, potential long-term partners are usually turned off by someone they perceive to need a lot of "work." That dude might make a GREAT husband one day, but if she has to teach him table etiquette and tact...why wouldn't she just look elsewhere for someone who already has a grasp of those basic concepts? That's what the phrase "being on your best behavior" means. You neutralize those bad habits/slightly less appealing personality traits in order to sell yourself to a wider variety of potential partners. I am NOT saying that you should stifle yourself in order to find a girlfriend. If you're a massive nerd who eats spaghetti with his fingers in front of a large flat-screen that plays Asian ass porn all day long, then that's who you are. But that sort of behavior will only be attractive to a very, very miniscule part of the dating pool. Change the channel, use a fork, and try to speak about something other than Dungeons & Dragons during your dates. After you've "sold" yourself to some lucky lady, it's totally okay to slowly introduce her to your huge porn fetish. But it's not okay to stop using the fork. See what I mean? *Caveat: Some people are attracted to "fixer-uppers," in home-buying and/or dating. If you want someone who sees you for the rough diamond that you are, then keep doing what you're doing. EDIT: What MoreCowbell said. Also, for the record, I would totally fart in front of The Dude if I could be guaranteed that it would be all noise and no smell.
We were talking about curb appeal. Installing some DD's and trimming the front hedges will certainly get your attention, it seems.
In other words, the honeymoon phase. Your best qualities shine during the honeymoon phase and when that phase starts to wane, the uglier, more nasty side that people don't like talking about shows its face. I recently read that only ~8% of couples ever retain the honeymoon feeling through-out their marriage; they don't have a rational explanation for it but I suspect it's because someone in the relationship has finally gotten a little sick of the other persons shit and it starts taking a toll on the relationship. As for courting the ladies/gentlemen; yes, be the best you can be. People are attracted to certain things and if you have the aspects that they find appealing, then it's likely that you'll hit it off. People stay in relationships past a certain point, ie; end of honeymoon phase, because they know that the good outweighs the bad. Everyone needs to realize that there is something about them that sucks* and that if they want to be successful in dating, then they need to bring those aspects of their personality to the forefront and put more focus on them. As soon as you start doing this, it'll make you seem more confident, which is something that everyone wants in a partner; when you cannot make it, then fake it**. *I know someone is going to make a trite joke about this, save us from it, please. **When I say fake it, I'm referring to confidence. All you need is a seed and it will grow but you have to plant that seed.
This is more what i think of when someone says misrepresentation. NSFW http://n.sfwgifs.com/gif/padded-bra
"Deception" staring padded bras, hit the inception bwooon button. That .gif almost completely ruins my day.
Bewildered, that .gif is like showing up to Thanksgiving dinner, only to find there is pizza on the table. I mean, sure, pizza is pretty good in and of itself. You wouldn't turn it down. Hell, you might even go out and get yourself pizza on a regular basis and enjoy it. But when you're told to expect a full dinner consisting of roast turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, and apple pie for dessert, pizza is a fucking insult.
But that is exactly what I'm talking about! If you don't at least enjoy the pizza that is there you are gay. That is all. I mean you wouldn't be able to titty fuck the pizza but who does that anyway?
Not to distract from the titty fucking scenario, but question for the guys: if a girl fucks you on the first date, does it impact whether or not you will date her? Do you see her as strictly a FB or FWB after that?
She's obviously a whore and I, therefore, hate her. Or it has no impact on what I think of her, or her potential dateability. Whatevs.
Well I guess if I like this I must be gay: NSFW Its like Christmas morning when your a kid you see the one present that you think is going to be good. Its probably an Xbox 360 your thinking, The one thing you wanted all year. The present you've been bragging to your friends about getting all week! So you rip open the wrapping paper as fast as you can only to find its an pair of sega dream cast or something. Its OK but its definitely not what your were expecting.
Look, I'm the first to refer to this fine periodical when guys are being obnoxiously hypocritical - I'm not sure I'd go thanksgiving dinner and pizza. But maybe if you went into KFC, really craving KFC, and found out that they'd gone out of the chicken business and were doing beef cheese burgers now? It's not that different - but it's still not what you wanted when you went there, and you'd be dissapointed. I've gotten someone naked and been kind of let down before. I wanted the ludicrous curves and instead I found someone who was built like a gymnast. I mean built like a gymnast can be really fucking fun. But it still felt like a bait and switch. It's not like I've ever put my pants on and gone back to the bar in that scenario. But I've certainly been less concerned about the possibility of cum ending up in her hair. I've done the three dates thing with one woman in the last 8 years. And it was a struggle to put her back on the potential girlfriend track instead of being way too high maintenance. The girl in question is fucking awesome - and the three dates thing turned out to be more about circumstance than any deliberate attempt to prove that she wasn't easy. But it just feels like a girl is either way too concerned about how her sexuality appears or has secondary motivations if she's doing the no sex regardless of chemistry until the nth date thing. It should be an organic decision - when the sexual motivation is there, not a calendar mark reward.
Ok, this has been discussed into the ground. But I stand by what I said. Saying it ruined your day is different than being shown something unexpected. And Jesus H Christ, I had no idea that tits are like Christmas or Thanksgiving. I learn something new every day.
Agree to disagree I guess. Oh and yes tits make the world go round. Also could be the cause of WWIII. Guess we'll see