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The TIB guide to Men and Women

Discussion in 'Permanent Threads' started by PIMPTRESS, Jun 22, 2011.

  1. Noland

    Noland
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Same problem. If I have a handful of boob, I'm gonna do something with it or to it. Different strokes, I suppose.
     
  2. shimmered

    shimmered
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    I do get surprise sex'd. And then as he's drifting off, I cup the jewels. Then in the morning I get sex'd again.
    I'm telling you, this works.
     
  3. Jimmy James

    Jimmy James
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    As ridiculous as this sounds, I only do it a couple of times a week. Sometimes less. My girlfriend is now responsible for my satisfaction. Plus, the feeling of release just gnawing at me is pretty hot. It definitely makes sex hotter. When I was single, I was jerking it daily, sometimes multiple times. My record was 4 times in a row, but I had to walk around without pants on the rest of the day because everything was so sensitive.

    That is completely incorrect. Comparing that to passively holding on to a boob is like saying there's no difference between aerial maneuvers in a fighter jet and taking a flight somewhere.
     
  4. shimmered

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    I would be hurt if he didn't let me hold the pepe.
     
  5. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    I'm all for a girl cupping my junk as she sleeps. Saves me the effort of doing it myself so nobody steals it in the night. I'm more curious as the position. How long are your arms that you can spoon a dude and comfortably grab his crank? Or are you face to face? Because getting a blast of hot sleep breath all night is disgusting.

    As for masturbation: twice a day at least. On hangover days, maybe 5. Hangovers make me want to fuck like I'm saving the species. The amount of alcohol damaging my system must trigger some kind of survival/propagation instinct.
     
  6. Noland

    Noland
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    I thought I was the only one. Anybody else have this issue?
     
  7. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    I think for me it's if I'm THAT hungover I'm in bed or on the couch all day. If I'm already doing that, flicking the bean several times is inevitable.
     
  8. shimmered

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    On our backs, and I just reach down and cup 'em.
    Or him on his back and me on my side with my head on his arm.
    But I'd rather use my right hand.
     
  9. Omegaham

    Omegaham
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    Count me in, although it's more because I don't feel like getting out of bed on those days. The Masturbation Cycle then commences.

    1. Wake up, decide that getting up will be painful.
    2. Toss and turn to try to get comfortable.
    3. Nudge the junk the wrong (right) way.
    4. Masturbate.
    5. Go back to sleep.

    Doing that, I've gotten seven in a day. But again, that's if I'm sick as fuck or hungover. Otherwise, I have stuff to do.
     
  10. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    Bonus points for having a jarring headache you can feel in your ass. Every shift and jerk radiates nails through your skull, down your spine. But instead of getting a glass of water, some advil, you sit there sweating bullets for 20 minutes. Endorphins will help relieve the pain, you say. Drugs are bad for you anyway, you say. It's almost there, you say. Tongue literally stuck to the roof of your mouth and your eyes burn, but you still found the energy to look up some decent porn.

    Ladies, welcome inside the male mind.
     
  11. hooker

    hooker
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    I play with my vagina anywhere from two to four times a day - and some days even more than that. If I'm home from work and doing nothing but watching porn and playing XBOX, I feel a little bad for putting it through such vigorous abuse. It deserves it though!
     
  12. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    Guys--

    If you had a day with nothing to do, no one to bother you, and the entire Information Super Highway at your disposal, how many could you crank out on such a day?

    For me it's simple math:

    (12 hours of being awake) / (20 minute refractory period) - (1 hour for food) = 33 beats if I concentrate and put my mind to it.
     
  13. silway

    silway
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    Unlike apparently most of you, I'm down to usually around 3 per week. Depends on how much sex I'm having and how busy things are. I aim for about an orgasm a day, one way or another. Obviously some weeks are up or down.
     
  14. Noland

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    Mrs. Noland has been out of town for nearly a month and I haven't hit 33 in that whole time. Not that I keep count, mind you, it's more of an assumption. You're going to wear that thing down to a nub.
     
  15. iczorro

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    In highschool we had a contest. It was honor system based, so calm down. Over the Thanksgiving weekend, 10 guys and three girls had a contest to see how many times we could knock it out in one day. For guys the goal was 8 with no dry-fire, and for the girls the goal was twelve (the idea being that they could just rattle em off once they get there).

    2 guys and one girl hit the goals. I dry fired on the seventh time.

    *Edit* I just noticed that I consistently used numerals for the guys and spelled the numbers for the girls. I wonder what's up with that?
     
  16. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    Did I just shit myself?

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    I never thought cranking it hung over did anything spectacular to alleviate pain for more than the few seconds of orgasm. With the head pain and body aches, for me, it becomes a chore. Granted I'd probably find time to rub one out in the middle of a coma, it still happens. Shit it's boring laying around not moving all day. Still sleep is the only thing that takes the pain away.
     
  17. Omegaham

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    I hit eight when I got back from boot camp; I hadn't jacked off in the whole three months.

    My record in high school was seven; the last one was just painful, and I stopped doing it.
     
  18. Chirpy

    Chirpy
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    Disturbed

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    My friends and I are all this way. I am never more horny than when I'm hungover. After much discussion, we have a theory that it's all about blood flow. We figure that since alcohol thins the blood, maybe after a night of drinking the blood starts to go back to normal and therefore stimulating the nether regions. Or something like that. I don't know...it makes sense over mimosas during Inappropriate Sunday Funday discussions. The point is: it happens to everyone. And aren't we all the better for it? Yay for morning sex!!

    I've said it before and I'll say it again...falling asleep with his hand on my breast is possibly the greatest position for sleep ever. If he is spooning me and doesn't put his hand there, you can bet that I'll put it there for him. I love it. It's like creating an unconscious sexual tension which leads to my second favorite thing: morning sex. And again...yay for morning sex!!
     
  19. ex Animo

    ex Animo
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    I must suck. I couldn't get past 4.
     
  20. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    In the Discovery Days, you had to do it RIGHT though. Make it steamy and romantic. For instance, some tiki torches around the bed and a gold-plated spring-loaded tissue dispenser. Susanna Hoffs poster on the ceiling. Mist it with some Al Green. Nothing like having tennis elbow while never having played the sport.