I don't do well with BCP's either. Too hormonal, it has been a few years but I recall feeling like I have PMS 24/7. So how that affected my libido, I guess I probably would have been driving people away with my raging bitchiness or having makeup sex. Regarding sleeping, I toss and turn all night long and I can't fall asleep if anybody is touching me. If a guy wanted to fall asleep cupping my boob, too bad, he would have to find a new girl. Snuggling to me has no place in sleeping.
Cuddling: My belief is that guys secretly really like cuddling. They have to deny it to sound manly, but most of the time, cuddling seems to be equally enjoyed. I don't see why not. It's comfortable, and despite the stereotype how can you NOT feel manly with your arms around your woman. I know it makes me feel all super girly feeling like I'm nice and safe in The Nook. I think it's just the word "cuddling." It's so cutesy, and even I feel dumb saying it sometimes. Cuddling while falling asleep is the best, and I am totally pro hand-on-junk. I want to cuddle now. I'd like to do a PSA. When you ask a girl if she has a boyfriend, the worst possible way to respond when she says "no" (other than "Yeah, that makes sense") is "Why not?" I totally get the logic behind this, and understand that it's supposed to be flattering, but it's so awkward and there's no fun way to answer that. Usually the truth is way too personal to tell someone you've just met, or when I answer with "I haven't found a guy I like" that makes me sound bitter and/or annoying, or when I try to respond to it wittily it makes them realize it was a stupid question and then they get awkward. I have yet to see a girl answer this at all smoothly. Just move on and carry on with the conversation.
Co-sign. I had an ex that thought it meant I was basically just using her for sex if we didnt fall asleep with me in the typical spoon position, arms around her (yes, she was more than a little crazy). But she didn't realize that such a position lead to an arm falling asleep, sore shoulders, and just general sleep related uncomfort. I can get down with interlocking ankles or legs, or if you catch me at the right time during post-coital sleepiness, I can fall asleep on my back and you can sleep on my chest, but otherwise, 90% of the time I sleep on my stomach and thats hard to accommodate. But I have no problem with cuddling, though it often leads to cuddling involving coitus.
I'm a huge fan of cuddling, but I can't do it while sleeping. I have to sleep in a fairly specific position or my shoulder will dislocate during the night. So generally it goes sex then cuddling and conversation and then sleep.
Thank you for reminding me about another point I wanted to make. Has anyone else noticed that the best conversations are had after sex, when you are both totally naked? I think this contributes to my hatred of putting on clothes after sex (or having the guy put on clothes). Once even so much as a pair of boxers are put on, the tone/content of the conversation changes and it goes back to the kind of everyday talking you could do if you were sitting on the couch or in a restaurant. Staying naked after sex is way better than getting clothed.
Correct. Men are babies when it comes down to it. Vulnerability is a touchy subject. I know a bunch of dudes that spent more than a year with a girl and never opened up in any way except to display a yin/yang of manipulation/neediness. But I digress. Fuck it, I'm a cuddle junkie. I like contact and can cuddle without it leading to sex. Sometimes. I enjoy spooning when we fall asleep, but once I drift off all bets are off. I will most likely end up doing a flip mid-sleep and clocking you. I suggest wearing hockey pads. If we're on the couch watching TV, I expect your feet or head on my lap while I read and you rot your brain on Jersey Shore. Also, I find girls that can't back off when I'm asleep, constantly glued to me, do the same in public. PDAs are lovely. Let's leave the cuddling at home though. When you literally hang on me like a spider monkey it restricts my movement, pulls me down, and generally pisses the living fuck out of me. I'm not your jungle-gym. Be an adult, let go. I'm not going to run away unless you keep this up, which would inevitably perpetuate this cycle you have made for yourself.
Unfortunately my husband used to date a hold your junk to go to sleep girl. Now he finds that sleep inducing. Thanks for ruining a perfectly good situation. When I touch your junk I want you to respond not go to sleep. I do not agree with this practice and will continue to play with and fondle a penis if I am holding it. I refuse to hold it for sleep. That is not natural in my opinion.
I refuse to go on it for this very reason. My cycle is fine the way it is and I'm not broken. Plus, there is a plethora of possible negatives that I just don't want to even chance. If my libido goes down, that's just sad. If it goes up then I am fucked. Then there's dealing with a cycle that isn't mine. I feel like I know my body pretty well and how it operates, and changing it with hormones isn't a good idea.
What's the reaction you've gotten, telling people you're not on it? I've had a few dudes try to guilt trip the shit out of me for "not doing my part" in preventing the making of babies, or just be paranoid as hell that I'm not on it.
This is true. I'm a huge fan of cuddling post-sex. I will fall asleep in 10 seconds. The key is having awesome pillows so my arm can go straight under her head or otherwise my arm falls asleep. Never had a girl hold the dick to sleep. I'm definitely open to the idea if it is post-coitus because otherwise he's going to get up and want to play.
Joke all you want, but my libido is at a very healthy, high level and if it were any higher, I'd turn into a sex starved succubus who roams the streets fucking anything that moved.
Cuddling - Pro. Big fan. I find that it's a toss up as to whether or not I can go to sleep like that, but there are times when me and my wife are tired and content and snuggle in to sleep and those are some of my favorite moments. Maybe it's just my social group but I don't really think most of the guys in it would deny liking to cuddle if they really did. Birth Control - I know from up close experience that different pill prescriptions can have different effects. One pill might have no side effects while another might cause all sort of emotional issue and bleeding, etc. For anyone who has suffered the latter, it may be worth trying a different type.
Usually he can just put a hand at the crease of my inner thigh. Eventually we both shift off and fall asleep...but getting there... Also... cuddling: super Rad but I'm a very hot sleeper. Cuddle up to me for too long And you'll stick. It's not very comfortable I'm afraid. Birth control: jacks with my system too much. I'm also allergic to latex.
Every time I've had a conversation after sex it generally turns into "Where is this going?", or a conversation of that nature. Anything in the bedroom that can't be expressed with moaning, grunts and yelling, generally isn't worth talking about. For safety sake, I pretend I'm a caveman from the time both of us enter the bedroom until one of us leaves for any reason.
I'm definitely Pro-Cuddling, but I find it almost impossible to fall asleep while doing it. After sex I like to snuggle for a bit, but then when I start to feel tired I'll generally move into my normal sleeping position.
I like to cuddle and stroke them gently aftewards; it tends to ensure that they won't cry rape if they have a bad case of buyers remorse.