The TIB guide to Men and Women

Why is it that men expect women to listen to every damn word that they say, (and even sometimes give feedback) remember in exact detail just what exactly has been told to us, but yet women can repeat themselves 5 fucking times, and nothing will still sink into your thick skulls?

I swear sometimes I think a tomato plant has better listening skills than the male population. I'm not talking about meaningless bullshit either. I understand that meaningless to me might not be meaningless to ya'll, but I am saying that we will be asked the same thing 5 fucking times... No, I am not frustrated at all....

 

Hoping you'll take the hint eventually that he doesn't care is far easier than him just telling you he doesn't care. Hell, he may even get laid a few more times before you figure it out. What's not to love?

Or you're dating a person with catastrophic brain damage. Either way.

 

If he doesn't care, then why is he the one asking?

 

Did you say something?

 

It seems that they literally process information slower, especially implications of the discussed information.

Here I thought Mr. P's traumatic brain injury was to blame...

 

This is the problem right here. Y'all talk so fucking much it becomes like white noise. We don't listen to most of it because we can't.

Go in the kitchen and get a measuring cup. Now turn on the water and let it run in the cup for an hour. No matter how much you try or how important all that water is to you, you're still only going to wind up with 1 cup of water.

Be brief. Be to the point. Spare us the tests and the games. That shit just makes us tune out more.

 

LTMSette pulls this shit on me all the time. If I am reading, or watching a movie how about getting my attention before talking to me, a simple hey will more than suffice. Instead she just starts talking and I have to construct the first half of the sentence by guesswork. I am a hunter, when I am focusing on something, it has my total attention.

Also Women, why can’t you cut straight to the point? Why come home and ask “did you vacuum?” Is the floor clean? If it is, it either didn’t need it in the first place or I did indeed vacuum. Your question feels like a judgement that I’ve done a shit job. If there is detritus on the floor, then no, I did not vacuum so the question is effectively rhetorical not to mention passive aggressive. Same goes for general cleaning.

 

No, I comprehend exactly what you wrote. You are trying to dominate his attention by running your mouth like a duck's ass.

Communicating is whatever works. If you spurt out 50 words and he only listens/hears 10, you're wasting both your time. Say things short and sweet and once. Don't pad it with a bunch of nonsense. And don't try to make him guess what you're trying to say. Just.say.it!

Trying to test him and trick him into listening to every word that spills out of your neckhole does not a relationship make either.

 

I don't think it's a guy thing. I think both genders suck at listening or talk too much. Boyfriend remembers random shit I said months ago word for word. I say something once and he remembers it. (This sucks when, say, he meets your family and they tell him some really embarrassing stories about you. He will remember those for life. I WISH his memory sucked for that kind of stuff. Ugh.) Maybe I don't talk very much, or maybe he just has a really good memory that way. Either way, I can think of several guys who buck the "don't listen, don't say much" trend. Years ago, I briefly dated a guy who talked non-stop. It was really obnoxious and I tended to think about my To-Do List while he blabbed incessantly. That's annoying. Sometimes I just want to be with someone in silence. Just be in the same room together and chill.

 

Louie says it best (about a minute and a half in)

 

Okay, this has nothing to do with whether I talk too much, or need to go make a sandwich, or am "testing" anyone. I got repped that I didn't give specific details, so I will give an example.

I had mentioned to a good friend of mine that I needed to get my truck aligned. He asked me four different times on four different days whether I had done that yet, when I had already answered him that I had done it last week. Seriously?

My brother asked me to go drinking with him on Wednesday. I told him I couldn't, and told him the reason why. He asked me three different times.

Is it just me? Or do men seriously have memories like goldfish? But yet you can remember 20 years worth of stats for your favorite football team. However, dear god, string us up if we forget you have guys night out next Friday night.... I understand that women are nothing but tits, pussy, and sandwich makers, but would it hurt to fucking listen every once in a blue moon? I feel like I am listening deprived.

 

I'll add an example because it just happened today and not a "relationship" per se. I saw a patient about a matter that was important to him back in May. I told him that I would talk to the doctor about it and call him, which I did. Keep in mind that this was in May. So he schedules another appointment and comes in today. First thing, I didn't call him back about this very important matter and he has just been waiting for me to call him. I am racking my brain trying to remember him and start out apologizing that I didn't call him. Then little glimmers come back....

Me: "wait a minute, weren't you getting ready to go on vacation last time you were in here? North Carolina maybe, you were driving?"

Him: "Well, to South Carolina actually"

Me: "wasn't it a golf trip with the guys?"

Him: "um, yeah?"

Me: "I called you, we talked when you were on the golf course"

Him: "Oh, yeah, now I remember"

So keep in mind that this is one of many patients that I see and talk to in a day, but somehow I was able to recall these details from 3 months ago when it was basically just a routine phone call to me. And then keep in mind that I am the person that he saw who discussed this very important matter with him that has been on his mind for 3 months, yet he forgot that I called. So, the fact that I was just white noise shouldn't apply.

Sheesh.

 

It's funny that you are complaining about a guy not listening when he is concerned about a problem you told him about earlier.

You are putting some serious weight on inconsequential shit in my opinion. Especially when these aren't significant others. I'm sure that you don't remember every inanity that they utter towards you. Cut them a break.

 

The reason men remember footbal stats so well is because we are good at remembering things that don't bore us. This is that whole black/white thing again with men and women. You will not understand why we can argue for three straight days about an offside call, and we will not understand how you can watch a two hour movie about a man and woman wanting, but never having a relationship.

What can I say? I guess we have one track minds. I guess we feel that any unnecessary talk is just plain unnecessary. We want the W5 and that's it, and when the backstories start to flow it gets boring upstairs which triggers the carnival in our brains to fire up and the noise from the Gravitron and the loudmouth DJ on the Himalaya drowns out the rest of the world.

So, you probably warned me in advance therefore I'm sorry for accidentally making fun of your friend's glass eye to her face at her engagement party, but I was really drunk at the time. Therefore, I'm not responsible.

 

I think the problem may have been more with your timing than your content. Really, the conversation needs to be at the pub before you leave. At least then, when she freaks out, you can move on to the next one.

 

I'm not going to argue with you there brother. Thinking about that moment still makes me squirm.

I’ll say one more thing on the topic though, for all you full disclosure on bar pickup people. If one of your guy friends phoned you up distressed that he had a one night stand with a girl and now she wasn't returning his calls, but last night she was really into him and now he felt hurt and confused and didn't know what to do.. What would you think about him? What would you say to him?

I don't think girls should get a free pass.

 

I'd tell him to try more lesbian bars where he might meet someone who was actually into women. Then I'd point out that maybe he should have had a grown up conversation about expectations instead of making assumptions and getting crossed wires, and she'd dodged the topic or lied to him about it, I'd agree that she was a horrible person. But really, even if I'd just told him to harden the fuck up and get over her, I don't see you're fucking point. Is mugging someone more ethical if they cheated on their taxes? Is it fine to sell heroin to middle schoolers if they egged someone's house last week? Of course it's fucking not. Your ethics, and how good a person you are, have nothing to do with other people.

And to extend the free pass scenario - like every other guy in the world, when I read about the norweigan guy who filed rape charges because a girl blew him without his consent while he was passed out a party, my first thought was that he was clearly gay. But having an asshole first thought doesn't preclude thinking about it a bit more and realizing that if a girl woke up to some stranger giving her head at a party and screamed rape - I'd happily be part of the lynch mob. A dick move is still a dick move - even if one gender is less likely to get called on it.