Captain Save A Ho's aren't guys that put up with drama and antics they're dudes that try and get in a girls pants by trying to "save them" from their toxic relationships with bad boys. The ones that fly in to be a shoulder to cry on but never be the dick to sit on. The guys I think you are referring to aren't sticking around with drama queens hoping they'll change, they just don't want to give up the gravy chain of crazy girl sex. If they are, they are as emotionally broke as the girl is.
No, she's right. We're not talking about the guys you are, we're talking about the guys who genuinely feel that they need to put their manly instinct to protect & provide by taking care of some broken-down woman.
Jesus, I had a broken-ass girlfriend about 3 years ago. I was too stupid to know any better. She was the single-mom-trying-to-relive-her-lost-years-because-of-that-accident-she-called-a-daughter type. Never, the fuck, again.
I hear riding a horse is kind of like sitting on a clothes dryer for girls. That's why they actually love riding them....
Thanks for the advice, everyone. I know it might sound stupid to a lot of people, but I needed it broken down like that. It's appreciated.
My girlfriend admitted she had feelings for another guy, essentially forcing me to dump her. I did, then cut her out of my life after our effort at being "friends" failed (mostly on her part). 3 months later she tries to make contact again. Ladies, please explain.
Omegaham, first of all, great username. Second, listen to Nettdata's advice, specifically the part about getting professional help. I don't mean that in a derogatory way at all. This is an issue that's bugging you, and opening up about it to strangers on the internet, while entertaining for us, is not the same as talking to someone whose job it is to help you. Having said that, if you'll indulge me... I was very fortunate as a kid to be surrounded by girls. Between my sister and the sisters we played with from next door -- one of whom is my best friend to this day -- I've been basically forced to hang out with girls my entire life (not complaining at all). I didn't even start developing a group of guy friends until I was 6 years old, and can honestly say I never went through a 'girls have cooties' stage. My point is that in all my years of hanging out with girls, I've learned something that it seems a lot of guys don't know: girls are people. Don't get me wrong, they are wonderful, beautiful, delicious people, very interesting and much more important than you or me, but when it comes to this whole 'talking to them' problem you're having -- they're just people, and I'm pretty sure that even in your hermit-ish ways, you've talked to people in the past. You know how you talk to your guy friend(s)? How when you're talking to them the 'I wanna have sex with this person' part of your brain isn't going crazy? If you talk to these people who happen to have vaginas the same way, I promise they'll eventually let you touch it. Easier written than done, I know. But earlier when you asked about how to flirt? Fuck flirting. Flirting implies you're trying to get laid, and some of the best advice I've ever heard about trying to get laid, is to stop trying to get laid. I don't mean that bullshit pick up artist, 'pretend you don't care to make them chase you' or whatever, I mean literally don't give a fuck if you get laid or not. Make the conversation your goal. Even if it's just 'how about the weather?' to a cute girl in the elevator, or even if it's not a cute girl! Just talk to girls, with no ulterior motives. I promise you they pick up on the difference between a guy who's talking to them as a guise to see their boobies, and one who's talking to them because he's interested in what they have to say. I was at a sandwhich shop the other day, and had to close my jaw when I walked in and saw the girl behind the counter. Stunning, to say the least, and she wasn't even wearing make up. Somehow, from telling her my desired toppings, we ended up having a mintue-or-so conversation about how we both hate wearing watches, rings, necklaces or any kind of jewelry. Eventually, her co-worker chimed in, I paid, and went and sat down and ate my chicken salad on white (and reading Dan Savage -- someone you may want to write to for advice). I didn't ask for her number, didn't even get her name, actually. I just had a fairly fluff conversation with a person who happened to be female (and too young/WAY out of my league). My point again is that I didn't TRY to have that conversation because I wanted to see her nekkid -- shit, I wouldn't have even been ABLE to have that conversation if 'her naked' crossed my mind -- the conversation arose organically because, as it turns out, we're two people who hate stupid pointless crap hanging off our wrists. Even though I didn't get laid, I did get to have a conversation with a beautiful female (and touch her hand when she handed me my change) ON TOP of having a delicious sandwhich. Maybe it's lame, but I call that a win. Keep your head up. You're Omegaham, man.
This stigma has to stop. Seeking professional help is NOT a bad thing, or derogatory. You're fucked up, you need someone with experience to fix you. If your car breaks down, do you get offended when someone says "hey, take it to your mechanic"? If you break a leg or an arm, do you get pissy when someone says "hey, go to a doctor and get that fixed"? Just because you can't see the inner thoughts in your mind doesn't mean that there aren't people out there skilled in tuning that shit up, or, in the case of some major issues, nudging you back in the right direction. For all you know, you may have a chemical imbalance that is easily fixed with a quarter pill every day that makes all that shit a thing of the past. The mere fact that you're here asking for help means that you at some level recognize the fact that it's out of your skill set to fix, so why take the word of a bunch of drunken perverts over someone who's educated in the matter? What, to save yourself a couple hundred bucks here and there for a session? We're talking about your LIFE. Spend all you need to in order to improve the quality of it. True, psychology isn't as straight forward as re-setting an arm or a leg, but don't kid yourself into thinking that you're the first one ever to go through this shit. Others have as well, and you can benefit from that experience, especially when used at the hands of a professional. $0.02
This is one of those truisms that bugs me. I know, I know, my experience is weird or unusual or niche or whatever. But how large a sample size do I need to survey before my findings become significant? I might even agree that this is true for a majority of women and a majority of men. But I think among older with some long term relationship history behind them, the love/sex dynamic shifts dramatically. I know I view shit very differently after living with the same person for 7 years. As for women? Third wave, sex positive feminists under 30 (or my favourite kind of fuck buddy) are just as likely to trade sex for .... sex. Use guys for their bodies. Fuck like it doesn't mean anything and from time to time, accept love because they like the sex that goes with it. I personally know dozens of women who fall into this model. I know that the perception here is that the women I hang out with are some kind of abberation/abnormality/freak collection - But I know at least a dozen women who've been around the RMMB/TiB at various times who fall into that model. I have active dynamics with half a dozen women who fall into that model. And I'm regularly approached by strangers expressing an interest in joining that sort of dynamic. I dunno - maybe I'm some kind of magnet for every exception to the rule in the world. But I think the social dynamic is shifting, and the love vs sex thing is becoming less of a gender based issue.
There could be a couple of reasons... - Things didn't work out with the new guy, so she wants to use you as her backup until something else comes along again. You're comfortable around each other and there's none of that new relationship tension. - Things are going so great with this new guy, she just wants to see how miserable you are without her in your life, thus further validating her wandering eye. - Things didn't work out with the new guy and she realizes you were the "nice guy" and is kicking herself for being a whore and wants you back ...Those are just the reasons I can think of off the top of my head.
Ok ... my 5 cents (for what its worth; and to some of you, probably very little but I'm quite ok with that). Being genuinely "nice" can and will help get the interest of and attract women. With one big qualification. The guy also has to be or has to be percieved to be (by a woman) as being "higher value or high value" .... yes yes, I know ... more PUA type talk, but thats about the best term I know for it. What is "Higher Value" ? Any of the following; or more likely, combination of the following. - Physically Attractive (in her eyes anyway) - Confident. - High or higher status in the context of the social group, his profession or work, etc - Intelligent (relative to the intelligence of the woman) - Deserving of the womans respect (yes, nebulous, I know) - Good in bed. Otherwise, the guy priobably is just at the right place at the right time and manages to fluke a fuck from a woman in need. To put it bluntly.
Wait, if you don't have even one of those characteristics? If you're unattractive, shy, irrelevant, stupid, not worth respecting and not good in bed, why would you think anyone would want to spend time in your company? Shy, stupid and irrelevant means you're not worth having a conversation with, and unattractive and not good in bed means you don't justify being conversationally pointless by being sexy. Instead of running PUA game bullshit, maybe your time would be better spent developing a personality?
I believe you just validated my earlier points, that I have no redeeming personal qualities other than a subscription to Roissy's blog; albeit in a backhanded way. Note; that you have as much right to paint me into the douchebag PUA box I actively place myself in, as I have to paint you into the awesome sexual savant guru that your amazing mod powers have made you.