Just to be clear, and no one may have an answer, but is this a thread for women to post about women's issues, or just about women's issues? I swear, I don't think I really care and don't place value judgement what the answer is either way, but I do think the answer shapes the thread content, one way or the other.
I think the initial understanding was that this was a thread for 'chick stuff' and that was about as closely defined as it got.
I figured it would be more along the lines of women's issues, like things that men would generally not be able to really contribute to or have first hand experience with.
Pfft. I was raised by 3 women. Sadly I have major experience with everything mentioned so far in this thread and forcibly bite my cheek so that I don't contribute and expose the how far down the rabbit hole goes of my own childhood/early adulthood.
AudreyMonroe - I agree about your gut being 100% spot on. I also agree that it's not right that you're being expected to trust someone whose given you no reason to trust him. If they're just casually fucking, he needs to be at his place when she's not home. Your home is not his home.
Just to make something clear, because I think it's important that it gets said: This thread is open for everyone to participate in. Men, women, bots, whatever. Well, I would prefer no bots. But TiBdudes are more than welcome to post here. This space was created for TiBettes to talk about womens issues in an open-thread situation like the Drunk Thread. There's no specific focus here. Women's issues are broad and not always easily identifiable as "women's issues." So if you have a question about the topicality of a particular discussion, you are more than welcome to bring it up! But because women's issues don't exist in a vacuum, men are encouraged to read and participate in dialogue (politely, of course) if they have something they'd like to contribute. Feminist Pants: As co-perpetuators of the patriarchy, men and women both owe it to each other to listen, communicate, encourage, and learn about these important gendered issues in order to be co-architects of a meaningful social change. /pants off This message has been brought to you by Pinkcup, who would like to continue speculation about the size of Ryan Gosling's cock.
AudreyMonroe: I had a similar situation in college. My roommate "Marcy" was dating a true scumbag. She started out as his other woman because he liked her, but didn't want to break up with his current girlfriend who lived two hours away. She would let him into the apartment at weird hours of the night (2, 3am) and my roommate "Kerri",who shared a bedroom with her told me they would have sex while Kerri was in the room sleeping. Instead of talking it over, my two roommates started fighting for reasons that Marcy didn't understand. It got so bad that Kerri moved out, taking her TV and boyfriend who cleaned our apartment and cooked us dinner with her. Eventually, this guy got kicked out of school and moved away. But every weekend, he would come back and stay at our apartment. At this point, I was sharing a bedroom with Marcy. They would spend hours in our bedroom with the door locked. I also chose not to confront her about this, and she ended up having a three-way with this guy and her best friend while I was asleep in the bed across from her. She had this three-way because she slept with another guy while they were broken up, and she had to "make it up to him". I graduated later that year and moved back home. On the 4th of July, I get a call from Marcy telling me that this guy beat the shit out of her because she told her best friend about what the two of them do during sex. (This is the same best friend who had the three-way with them and he got mad because Marcy told her that this guy asked to be butt-fucked with a strap-on.) I suggest you talk to your roommate before this goes any farther. I'm not saying your situation will be like mine, but you should talk to your roommate. Pinkcup: I don't know how big it is, but I imagine it had abs and a top hat.
I have trimmed away everything nonessential to get to the most important thing I think you wrote. You feel uncomfortable in your own home. That's just about all the reason you need. I think the specifics are more about how you present the situation to your roommate but in terms of the "legitimacy" of your issue, it's legitimate. You're uncomfortable where you live. That has to be addressed, someone has to move, or you suck up being uncomfortable as the cost of entry to whatever other benefits the current living situation has. But it's definitely valid, anything making you feel like that in your own home is valid. As for how to go about addressing it, that's harder for me to advise at a distance. All the ideas essentially boil down to talking to your roommate, which can be easier said than done. But if nothing else, know that you're not overreacting.
So I was listening to a podcast with Jon Hamm on it last night, and he was as likeable and funny as usual. Obviously I only know a bit, but it seems like his reputation as a down to earth guy is well-earned. Which is cool. But really, what I got distracted by is his voice. Sure he's good-looking, but I think if he doesn't sound the way he does, I think his career is in a whole different place. It's reassuring but stable. Confident with a hint of playfulness. It's like he opens his mouth and aftershave tumbles out. I want to go back in time and play Little League, then have him coach my team. This was apropos of nothing, but I really had nobody else to tell this thought to.
There were lots of halfhearted words about discomfort and unease which gave other people the opportunity to support you here, but I think this is the bottom line. I think "going with your gut" here is a cop-out for just not being able to accept that you're a little bit petty. But that's okay; you're human. We're all a little bit petty. There's something instinctive that we don't want to share our "stuff" past the point where either we miss using it, or we feel that our generosity is being taken for granted. I would raise it with your roommates as a somewhat formal conversation. Ask to lay out some ground rules about guests, how long they can stay, and how long they can stay without the host. It might make her feel less defensive if you begin by setting rules for out of town friends and family, then move on to local friends and her situation.
I'm not really sure why you use the word "halfhearted," but that aside, I wanted to chime in and essentially agree that sometimes it's ok to be a little petty and not need some sort of overarching high minded reason to feel they way you feel.
Pinterest: no. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I think I get the gist...I'm sure I'd be enthralled. So many cool projects out there, so many cool ideas, I want I want I want....and pinning them down and categorizing them is the next best thing. But I don't like to covet that hard, and good lord, I spend enough time on Facebook, I don't need another time suck.
My girlfriend loves Pintrest, and to be honest, I do too. Now, I don't use it at all for any reason, but she's found some kickass recipes on it (carbomb cupcakes, et al.) and she's perfectly happy pinning away and going through a million different things while I watch hockey, negating any argument we might have about what's on the TV.
Is this not a conversation that all housemates have? I had a buddy move in with me not too long ago, and he's the most honorable, respectful, disciplined person I've ever known... and we still had a ground rules talk. Which he respects.
Can we go back to the birth control discussion for a moment? I went to my GP today specifically to be fitted for a diaphragm. Here is the gyst of what happened: - She had no clue how to even prescribe it. She was initially going to write me 100 refills, because she thought they were single-use. - She did not size me. In fact, she denied that you had to be sized and insisted they were one-size fits all. - No pharmacy carries them anymore. Two separate pharmacists from two separate chains confirmed they cannot even order them in. - An article dated 2010 I just dug up online says that yeah, they've essentially been discontinued here in Canada. So, um...what do you want to do if you don't want to go on hormonal BC? I asked the second pharmacist this question, and she thought about it for a second before answering, "Don't have sex?"
Yeah, thanks for that. That's what my doctor suggested. I'm equally as un-crazy about implanting something permanently that I myself can't remove.
Yeah, Paragard and condoms are really your only non-hormonal birth control options. Or female condoms! Which are fucking weird. I don't know if this was just a word choice thing, but IUDs aren't implanted anywhere. They're just inserted into the uterus and hang out in there. Anyway, "To celebrate David Beckham's 37th birthday, here are 37 shots of him in his underwear." Thank you, Fashionista.