Exit to Eden is female dominant, venus in furs has fairly substantial female dominant elements, although also comes back to male dominance. Terry Goodkind explores female dominance, although they're cast as villains who are redeemed by love and kindness. Preaching to the Perverted is a quite entertaining movie (not porn), although possibly more so if you have some familiarity with the London kink scene, and is almost entirely tied to female dominance and full of quite funny jokes at the expense of male characters and men in general. The Laurel K Hamilton stuff also explores female dominance/male submission, it's not a focus, but it's fairly heavily explored. Macho Sluts by Pat Califa does a pretty awesome job of exploring alternate sexualities in several shorts. Not extensively helping heterosexual male submissives though... Sweet Gwendoline's Agent U69 is female and spends most of the arc doing bad things to Gwendoline. Not really helping guys who want to submit though... Bondage Fairies is erotic manga with a fairly extensive story arc, that also prominently features female dominance. It's mostly lesbian, but there's a fair bit of dominance of men as well.
Can you explain what you mean about the female dom stuff with Terry Goodkind's books? I read all his stuff and yes, the women tie people up and torture them, and there are elements of BDSM in their techniques, but it isn't for fun, it is for torture. The women are broken with even harsher techniques as children and forced to kill their own parents, later finding redemption through Richard and freedom. Maybe it is my inexperience in the BDSM scene but I'm not seeing the same things you are....unless this is Goodkind's way of exploring and rejecting that sexual scene. edit: It occurred to me that you didn't list these books and authors as ones who entirely focus and support the kink. I think I just got fixated because I love Goodkind's (earlier) books and he didn't seem to fit on that list.
A lot, probably most modern literature references to BDSM are the opposite of healthy and well adjusted kink. IE The Secretary was about completely fucked up and broken characters that were even more fucked up and broken in the book. I'm spoilering the rest of this paragraph because I can't really go into the rest of how that theme plays out without talking about plot points in stories that I've mentioned. Spoiler There's a bunch of themes around the confessors using their magical power to make men do what they want, including kill male children out of love for the mother... And around several of the psycho torture characters who enjoy / get off on the hurting people, some of them even after they're free to use that gift for Richard. NeverLand cast Captain Hook as a gay leather man using BDSM on the lost boys (young homeless men he was kidnapping). The list goes on. People exploring BDSM in fiction are almost all fucked up and doing it wrong. Even in Preaching to the Perverted - the protagonist is trapped by the role that she loves that isn't enough by itself. The GOR stuff is nice porn if you ignore the chatroom tard fanbase and the horrific gender politics which are completely unhealthy. Sweet Gwendoline is a spy story where gwendoline is always being captured and sexually tortured without consent. Bondage Fairies features a shitload of nonconsensual kink from evil people. Venus in Furs is female dominant until the end when exploring male dominance or other partners for the female protagonist destroys the relationship. Laurel K Hamilton's stuff is heavily predicated on 'fuck or die' as a motivation for sex, and the protagonist has sex with lots of people she doesn't want too, and then really fucking enjoys it. The story of O ends with O's suicide. Marquis De Sade's stuff is just tremendously fucked up and dysfunctional as all hell. The 50 shades characters are almost as pedophile-esque as the Twilight inspirations. When you read almost any BDSM pornography based in fiction, you need to read it as fantasy, or as role play, because those themes of tremendously unhealthy, poorly negotiated and non-consensual interactions are almost universal through the works. Then go and read other stuff to figure out how to go about BDSM in a healthy way in real life*. Clarisse Thorn and I have talked about writing 'consent porn' or 'healthy and well communicated BDSM porn' a few times. I even wrote a short piece of prose (nsfw, fetlife free membership required) a while back trying to move in that direction. It came out ok, but I can't figure out how to write something in a narrative with characters and arc to drive that idea into something I could pimp to stay at home mothers and maybe get a movie deal out of. * I'm a huge fan of Dossie Easton for books about alternate sexuality. I reccomend pretty much anyone getting into kink to read the Better Topping and Better Bottoming books and the When someone you love is kinky book to get a handle on terms. Radical Ecstasy is also very worth while, and if you're doing non monogamous relationships, the Ethical Slut is excellent. I think Jay Wiseman is a fucking douche, but S&M 101 is an excellent book. Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns is also very worth while. After that most of the really good books are kink specific. Douglas Kent has published some very good books on building kink stuff and rope, Two Knotty Boys have also published amazing rope instructions both in books and videos. Hardy Haberman is most famous for his book on cock and ball torture, and his writing is oriented more around gay man on man stuff. But he's also a fantastic source.
I have a charity fundraiser to go to on Saturday (in the evening). I am wearing these: With this: Is it appropriate to go bare-legged? It's supposed to be really hot. I don't want to wear hose with a garter because the garter would ruin the line of the skirt, and wearing old-woman pantyhose are fucking uncomfortable. I'd rather just have my legs bare, but I don't know if that would be appropriate/look right.
I think nowadays it's acceptable to go bare legged. Another alternative I've found that works is getting super highend, silk pantyhose..they're not as uncomfortable as the old lady kind. You can get the kind in thigh-high length that don't require a garter...they have an elastic type thing at the top that prevent them from rolling down.
Bare legged is fine if you ask me. I never wear stockings anymore, and actually feel like I rarely see them on others. In the winter I will wear tights, but that is about it. Cute dress and shoes by the way.
The only hose or stockings that I have ever worn are funky patterned ones with a mini skirt. I never wear them for serious attire, which usually would cause my mother to scold me, but it's just not a thing these days. Old ladies wear them but I never ever do.
I agree with everyone. Bare-legged is fine. I hardly ever see women under 60 wearing pantyhose. Thank god. Those shoes are SO CUTE. Where did you get them?
Nine West, baby. Given the heel height, they're surprisingly stable. NEVER buy cheap high heels, kids.
Seconded. My favorites are Calvin Klein, I can run in them and they are 4" heels. edited to add: Vera Wang heels are hard on your feet, don't fall for the name.
You will have an issue if you put straight peanut butter in the center of the cupcake then bake it. The peanut butter will most likely get greasy and unpleasant. What would be best is to inject ( via a piping bag) some of the peanut butter buttercream frosting into the middle of the cupcake after it has been baked and cooled. You could try straight peanut butter too, since the cake will be cooled. My two cents - do a peanut butter cream cheese injection, yummy and will be different from the icing.
Ladies, I need your help/opinions please. Wedge sneakers: wtf? I don't have the best fashion gauge, I dress a little wonky to begin with, and as a kids martial arts teacher, I dress like a boy most of the time. I'm really curious about them, but not willing to pay $800 for Isabel Marants, or even $200ish for the Ash brand versions, because it's a completely new type of shoe that I may hate. I found these for $32 bucks on Aldo's website, but while I'm waiting for the package, was wondering if anyone had tried wedge sneakers. Are the comfortable? Does it look stupid? What the fuck do you wear them with?
I'm not a fan of wedges, per se, and those kind of look... odd. Not to mention, Aldo shoes, generally speaking, tend to be kind of poorly built. I would suspect those to be uncomfortable and likely to disintegrate after not very much use.
Ugh...Ok, I need some council, ladies. Sorry if this doesn't belong here, but I want a consensus about pegging. The Girlfriend read some blog that led to Dan Savage (my fault mostly) and wanted to know my opinion and would I be down for it? My knee-jerk reaction is no. I don't like anal sex, and thus far in our relationship, ass-play is kept to a minimum. For me, anal is painful, not worth the discomfort (and ew factor, if I'm honest) and my favorite part of sex with this woman is hearing & feeling her get off. I've never been penetrated, but, I'm fascinated by the role reversal and since we're about to go to the US and resume some kinky sex, I want to be fair. If she's down for some unusual escapades, I should be too. In the interest of fair play, she agreed I could fuck her in the ass (which I'm completely uninterested in), if she could fuck me in mine. However, my interest in kinky sex is centered around new ways of experiencing her getting off. I told her that I'd play along if she could get off, and she'd be down to let me do some other shit at a later date (I'm holding out for a threesome, so hard it's sad). It doesn't seem like I would enjoy it, but I've endured some things from her that have been more than unpleasant and I like to think I would try anything once. My questions: what is the appeal of this to her/women in general? Is this a bad move for a relationship? I know that might be a stupid question, but you don't look at someone the same after you fuck them in the ass. Anyone given this a second look, or should we file this in the: "Nah, better not" file? I know it would never become a regular part of our sex life, but if she's this interested (this has gone as far as toy-shopping), I'm curious if this is a more popular activity. Delete if this belongs somewhere else, por favor.
This is 100% accurate. I've always said that Aldo is a $50 shoe sold for $119. If you are going to get something different, go to a higher end store like Nine West or Browns. Sure, you'll spend more money, but life is too short to be miserable in a cheap shoe. First off, your avatar. You're a young, good looking white guy. Jeesh! About pegging, I've only ever been down with it if the guy was into it. As you said, anal play can be painful if not done properly, and doing it properly pretty much means that the receiver has to be completely relaxed and secure. If, in your heart, you don't want it I don't know how your body would ever surrender and allow the penetration to happen without a bit of pain. If she wants to do it and you want to please her, I guess make sure you use a small toy and lots of lube. I don't think it governs a relationship in one way or another, any more than tying someone up for kinks or trying out a flogger shifts anything. From the sounds of it, it's going to be a rarity, and if you like it great and if you don't, that's fine too.
I like wedges. They're easy to walk in and can be super effing cute. That said, those are goddamn ugly.
I know I have no business rummaging through this thread,,,, but,, if you do decide to do this. I wouldn't tell your buddies. I have a friend that made the mistake of telling all of us that he lost a bet with his stripper girlfriend and she got put a dildo in butt.... He has never lived it down. There is nothing wrong with what you might or might not do, and you open mindedness is stunning and honest, I'm just sayin. If your friends are anything like my typical beer swilling, shot drinking, UFC watching brofest.... You will never hear the end of it.