State an opinion when asked for one, even if you really don't care or see the distinction between mauve and lavender. Nothing is more infuriating than 'whatever you like, babe', when asked what you think about A vs B. The first few go by unnoticed, but if you drop that too many times you will soon have her shrieking 'Don't you care about your own wedding?!'.
I really enjoy all of this wedding talk (Fernanthonies, your lady has the BEST smile!! Congrats!), but I need to talk about my period. In spoilers, just in case some of y'all don't want to read it. Spoiler Guys, I am so sick of being on the "surprise!" cycle. My last period was 17 days ago. I used to be so fucking regular. Like, could even predict the time of day I would start feeling that creepy trickling feeling around the entrance of my vagina. Now? No clue. Your guess is as good as mine. My skin is haywire all the time. I am farting constantly. I'm bloated one day, slender the next. I was a massive, massive asshole to The Dude (possibly the sweetest, most patient guy I know, too) and I've been an authoritarian bossypants to the kids I watch. THIS BLOWS. But I can't take hormonal birth control. Tried it, went batshit crazy. Are there any other things I can do to regulate my cycle? I'll try anything. Any tips will be helpful.
QFT. Also, don't get offended when your opinion doesn't matter. It doesn't. Not even a little bit. No one cares about the guy in the rented morning suit. Offer an opinion and then be quiet.
I understand your concern. I'm here to help. Unfortunately, there isn't a way to regulate your cycle without using hormonal birth control. One thing you may want to consider is a hysterectomy. But, it may help you to know that the uterus also is integral to the strength of your orgasms. If you find that your premenstrual symptoms are interrupting your day-to-day life, you may want to discuss your options for medications that can help you with a healthcare professional. If you do not have a doctor that you trust, you're welcome to come into your local Planned Parenthood Center. For you, that would be the Pittsburgh Family Planning Center*, located at 933 Liberty Avenue. Their number is 412.562.1900. Is there anything else I can help you with today? *Maybe.
I'm a freakin biology person but I still don't have all the hormones and when they hit for a cycle memorized. I have to pull out charts for that crap. Anyway, you might want to ask your gyno about it, but I've read that out of whack (especially low) levels of progesterone can contribute to unreliable periods and over the top pms symptoms that you mentioned. IF your progesterone levels aren't right, you can get an injection for that. That's not an over the counter solution or anything that you can check yourself, but it is worth looking into if your life is unmanageable.
I'm no wedding expert, I'm the (I guess) tomgirl that doesn't get into traditional weddings at all, but I have seen some in action and have events management radar: your photographer situation sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Nothing against your buddy, but you guys don't need amateur, you need professional, and you don't need "tentative", you need "absolutely", and this is an expense you'll want to shell out for. Whatever the cost, trust me, after just a few years it'll seem small. The whole wedding could go to hell, but as long as you have great photos of the bride and the event and you guys together, that'll be what counts. Get a word of mouth recommendation on a fantastic, decently priced photographer, someone that has a great wedding photo portfolio and is easy to work with, book the person, and start discussing with them on what her expectations are for formal and informal shots, etc. Please.
This. Years from now, no one will ever remember what your colour scheme was, what the head table looked like or how nice the flowers were/weren't. They will all, however, have pictures. The photography is the only tangible thing you all will take away from the wedding (besides the marriage), so don't cheap out. Find someone who does it well and earns their living from it. Personally, if I was planning a wedding, I would not skimp on: photography, food and booze (in that order). If everyone is well fed, the booze is flowing and the photographic record is beautiful, then no one will care that the bridesmaid dresses were discounted off-the-rack or that the venue didn't have a view or that the parking was shitty. My $0.02.
Yes! Also, I forgot, Mazel Tov, Fernanthonies, to you and your lovely fiancee. Also, I would add to the above list, whatever is needed for the bride to feel beautiful...and to help balance the budget, maybe skimp on the quality of the booze and make up for it with quantity. This is the #1 day of her whole life for your fiancee to feel the most beautiful she's ever felt, so if it's a few more dollars on great hair and the perfect dress (shoes don't matter exc for comfort) than I say, so be it.
There were a bunch of photography-related arguments in another thread so I won't rehash, but would like to mention that wedding photography is as much "action photography" as any sporting event. There are rare, spontaneous moments to capture, constantly changing conditions, and absolutely no do-overs. I have shot a couple weddings as a gift to the bride and groom, but it was absolutely not a tentative agreement. I stated that I would do it, it was my gift to them, and nothing short of a death in my immediate family would have intervened. Even then, they were simply not going to spend money on a professional and if they HAD been willing to budget it in, I would have recommended it. Even a talented, enthusiastic amateur will frequently have an issue like, say, not having a backup camera body and finding out their camera, or flash, or whatever died in the middle of the event. There are a lot of things at the wedding you can completely fuck up, and not only will you not remember it, nobody will even notice during the event. Screwing up the photographs will be the one thing you'll kick yourself over for a long time.
So HBC can really mess you up, but without going back and reading the posts on it from before I don't remember if you've tried varying the type and dose? In my experience, one type can be totally fine while another can be a total trainwreck (That was a long month) and some experimentation might really pay off. If you've tried or it's not an option otherwise I would honestly do a google search for "regulating periods naturally." I just tried it and it seemed to pull up a lot of links that weren't instantly ridiculous. I can't vouch for them, so hopefully more people will chime in here as well, but it might be another starting point for you.
Shimmered, was it you talking about anxiety attacks? I'm losing my shit over here. It started with a progressive medical condition I've had for 30 years (essential tremors) and has recently built into a head fuck, resulting in anxiety attacks at work Sunday to the point they almost called 911. I don't have a doctor (looking for one but they are hard to get here). This is the fasted place I know for answers. Obviously I'll seek medical attention, but that will take time. I need dialogue with someone with experience, now.
So I have spent a ridiculous amount of time at a baby forum while pregnant and having my baby, and a lot of the women on there with cycle issues swear by traditional chinese medicine and acupuncture to regulate their cycles. I don't know if this is too *out there* for you, but it may be worth looking into.
Yes that was me. Feels like you're on the front of a freight train headed for a wall that you can see but never hit. I was on xanax for it for awhile, years ago, but I hate meds. I've found that *for me*, drinking less, getting a workout in, and staying out of my own head help a lot. What's up? You can PM me if you'd like.
Bah. Another day, another shoe poll. Do we love these? Hate these? I'm still on a hunt for an ankle boot. More to the point, is a 5 1/2" heel (with a 1 1/2" platform) just a little too ridiculous for office wear?
I think this statement is very indicative of the bullshit scam that the wedding industry runs. What consistently surprises me is how many women legitimately believe in and fall for it. This whole diamond ring/wedding dress/planner/ceremony/etc. is such a goddamn racket. Would you rather spend an extra $30,000 on a ceremony that will be perhaps a tiny bit better because it, or would your rather spend that money on an extra 4 weeks of the honeymoon?! I have known couples that spent so exorbitantly on the wedding that they didn't even have a honeymoon at all. To me, this is completely insane. Who the fuck cares what precise style a wedding dress you will (hopefully) wear exactly once looks? And why this penchant for one-dimensional white diamond rings, when there are a million other precious metals that look way cooler and more unique? What's with these months of planning? Why not a small private party for friends, instead? Again, I think women are fed this BS on what their wedding "should" be like, and a lot buy into it.
Oh hot damn here goes my man card. (Keep in mind my fashion sense is next to nil, but here's my .02 any way.) If you were wearing those with a jean, or pant I think they would work well. However, if you were wearing them with a skirt where the shoe is more prominent, I think the location of the buckle makes them look unfinished. To me, it seems that those boot look like they should to to mid-calf. Maybe if the strap was lower across the area where ankle and foot meet it would work better for me. But with heels that extreme, and the strap around the ankle it seems almost unfinished to me. Like I said, I'm a fashion ignorant man thing, so take my opinion with a big huge bag of salt. Edit: Oh, and to answer the question about office wear; If I worked in an office and had hot Asian secretary who wore heels like that I would think that was just dandy. (Actually wait, hot Asian boss in heels like that would be better. Yeah that would be nice...)
All this talk about the photographer is exactly the advice I was looking for. This friend that I've talked to is definitely a good photographer, I've seen his stuff and I know he's done weddings before. However, you've all made a good point that in the end he is still doing this as a hobby and not as a professional. I'll be thinking more about this and looking into professional photographers. KIMaster, you could be right and we could sit around and discuss that all day long. In the end, though, it doesn't make a damn bit of difference, she has wanted a traditional wedding like this her whole life and she is going to get what she wants (within reason of course). The nice thing is that while she may have been influenced by people just wanting to make money, she is still a pretty down-to-earth, reasonable girl. She didn't want a huge ring, she doesn't want a $10,000 wedding dress or any of that stuff. She just wants to have a memorable day and to throw a party where we can drink with all of our friends and family and remember it forever. At this point the thing that we are having the biggest issue with is the invitation list. We've got people that we don't really want to invite, family mainly, that we feel we have to to keep from offending anyone. Especially the not so close family with the obnoxious, pain in the ass kids that we don't want at our reception, since we are planning on it being a rather 'classy affair'.
Of all the friends/family I've talked to who culled their invitation list to disallow kids or obnoxious relatives, not one single person has regretted it. Adults-only receptions aren't that uncommon. However, the majority of people who allowed the annoying relatives or children to come to the wedding have wished they chose differently. Keep in mind that it's your wedding. You're doing it to share this happy moment with the people you care about. Not with people you're obligated to tolerate - or with their children.