This is such an idiotic statement I am struggling to put together the whys. The concept of spending thousands, or even hundreds, of dollars on 8 hours is absurd. Feel beautiful, look pretty, yes. But those things can be accomplished without spending exorbitant amounts of money, and trust me...once you get to a certain point with the wedding dresses, you're talking about nuances that only the bride and her seamstress know about. Everyone else will NOT notice. Women should NOT be encouraged to run about like a mad harridan having a ME ME ME day. The day is not about the bride. The day is about the couple. HUGE HUGE HUGE difference.
Here's the thing. Everyone has their own ideas on what a wedding should be. The only thing that matters is that the couple gets what they want together and individually. If that means they want an expensive photographer then so be it. If she wants to spend over $1000 on a dress because SHE knows the details and no one else, so be it. She's the one wearing it all day, after all. People can give their opinions all day on how much shit should cost and what to do and what not to do. It all boils down to what you and your fiancee want and what's most important to you in order to have a fantastic memory. And like I said, this is just my opinion voiced upon many, so take from it what you will. Angel, those shoes are HOT btw. I'd rock those to work.
In response to a neg rep; "Yawn. Sometimes, it's okay for people to want something you don't want. I don't want an expensive wedding either, but there's nothing inherently wrong with it." I never wrote that there is anything inherently wrong with it. Rather, I'm saying that without a lifetime of being inculcated with how their wedding "needs to be the perfect day, all about them", a lot more women would rather save an extra $30k to spend on several more weeks of honeymoon in an exotic tropical locale. Not all of them. But a lot more.
I keep trying to tell myself this, but I can't help worrying about offending some family member and then never hearing the end of it. I would love nothing more than to just put my foot down and say "no children under 12 at the reception". Right now we're hoping to do the reception at one of our favorite restaurants with a great intimate atmosphere, a jazz trio for the music, and lots of cocktails. Not the environment for kids running around yelling their heads off (which is exactly what some of my cousins kids would do). If I were paying for everything I would be able to do that, but since her parents are taking care of most of it I feel like I don't have that much say in it. Great point, and thank God I'm lucky enough that my Fiancee wants it to be about us and isn't going to be a ME ME ME bridezilla type.
I agree that those are pretty hot, but they don't seem very office appropriate to me, at least not where I work. I've also always liked the lower cut ankle boots, like these:
They are beautiful. They're also Christian Louboutin's which will run you about $700+. God, I love them.
Anyone who says it's the BRIDE'S DAY has a skewed sense of reality. It's a celebration of your relationship and the things you love about one another. It's not about making the bride feel like a princess. Brides who go into it thinking they deserve to be made princess for a day rarely have long lasting marriages.
You see, I've been to probably the range of 150 weddings and I rarely see brides act this way. Grooms never give a shit, but that's old news. I have rarely (like maybe two or three times max) encountered a bride that is some uber-control freak that has to have everything about their VERY SPECIAL DAY go according to plan. When I saw that show Bridezilla when I was in Florida, I thought two things. That either... a) thse are actors, and this show is fake because no human being can be that awful, or: b) these women should be incased in lead and dropped into the Mariana trench Usually the couple is so stressed out about this wide mix of people packed in the same place and will or won't they kill each other that they don't have TIME to worry is the dry ice machine is perfect for the first dance or if the champagne flutes are spotless. Any grim encounter I usually have at weddings is never the bride, but usually one of three things: 1) Mouthpiece, high-and-mighty wedding planners that think they are your "boss" when they are actually "useless twats". 2) Really pushy wedding photographers. This is a rare thing since most are good people, but some of these characters don't care if they shatter a Ming vase or knock over a five-year-old (which I've seen) if something gets in their way. 3) Drunk mothers of the groom. Probably just a coincidence, but they only time I have been struck while working at a wedding were both by the groom's mothers over simple song choices. Weird.
I've encountered a handful of the brides who are that way...but they're usually that way because of their mother or sister trying to live vicariously through the wedding. Also, a LOT of the bridezilla stuff happens way behind the scenes. I've had some serious meltdowns on my hands because a bride wanted THIS wedding dress with THAT color beading and WHY CAN'T IT COME WITH THESE BEADS WHAT DO WE HAVE TO DOOOOOOO TO MAKE IT HAPPPPEEEENNNNN... Most of that stuff never makes it to the wedding. On the wedding day, emotions are running high and most everyone's catering to the bride anyway, so there's not much reason (usually) for drama.
as much as I hate to waste time wading into a hacky debate...(and even more time because I wrote a whole post and mustve forgotten to post it) Let's be clear about what I posted, and the fact that I don't think anyone here is advocating for an overly self-indulgent, self-involved, vain bride: my original point was that the bride wants to feel beautiful, probably more so than any other day in her life. Not that that's the centerpiece of the event. And that if you're going to spend money on the event, my point was to add onto someone's original list of prioritization of those assets. The wedding should meet the expectations of the key players, and it was my assumption that the fiancee's looks figured into her expectations of the event. Maybe not. But if so, and if you're going down the whole traditional wedding path, then you may as well do it right. Hundreds of additional dollars on top of thousands of dollars isn't going to make a difference in the long run. and to the snide "that's telling" rep, Ms Shimmered... we spent maybe, tops, $200 on our wedding...our choice, and I'm glad we made that choice. Our wedding, which was almost 20 years ago. And is still going strong today. That's what's telling.
You haven't seen snide. Hundreds of additional dollars on top of thousands of dollars isn't going to make a difference in the long run. What does that even mean?
I feel like I have far more interest in women's shoes than a straight man should have. In the past year or so I've bought my Fiancee more shoes than she's bought herself, and if I had the money I would have no problem buying her a pair of Louboutins. And on the wedding talk stuff, I can't see how anyone could want to marry a woman that is a bridezilla/psycho bitch. There is no way that kind of behavior comes out just because of a wedding, they have to be like that all the time. We really just want to have an awesome party where we can get drunk with our close friends and family. We've even discussed eloping/having a super small no-cost wedding before, but her biggest objection to that is "we would miss out on that big awesome party!" I have a hard time arguing with that.
Hell you say. Have your wedding, then have a party where you invite everyone. The Guy and I want something ridiculously small. I'm only begrudgingly willing to have his mom there, simply because she's pretty adamant that she attend, otherwise, it's him, me, and the guy who's performing the ceremony - my brother. I don't want the show, I don't want the cake and the candles and the flowers and the money and all that crap. I want to get married. After that we can have a party at the house and everyone offer congratulations if they like, or they can just drink with us, whatever...but the ceremony? I want that intimacy and that moment to be us...and no one else.
it means I just looked it up and my mama deadlifts more than you do, and she weighs 95 lbs. You mention your future wedding, I don't keep close track, but is this your 2nd or 3rd marriage? Do you call them your baby's daddies? So this is what middle America does to unproductively deal with their stresses and anxieties and unhappiness about their unhappy lives. It feels like.... a waste of time. Cheers.
Seriously? This is what you have? This...right here...is ALL YOU HAVE to throw at me? The ONLY things you could attempt to insult me with are things of which I make absolutely no secret? ... Really? I've not ever hidden my past, by the way. And, given the nature of the previous relationships, it's a damn good thing I didn't stay in them because of some mysterious societal pressure to not have a 'broken marriage'. But of course, in your haste to throw a barb at me, you overlooked that little nugget of information. Moving along to your point regarding your 95lb mother. I hope she's competing, with a double+ bodyweight deadlift. Or at least training to compete. Athleticism like that shouldn't be wasted. Finally, thank you for proving what a useless twatwaffle you are with your blathering about what one deserves on a day that is no more special for her than it is for the person she's marrying. Thank you for letting us know that your depth is equivalent to a parking lot puddle, and that your emotional response to a situation will always take precedent over rational thought and discussion. THAT particular tidbit of information will undoubtedly help anyone reading this discount your position in any future debate, discussion, or thread, unless you've got a great set of tits or a decent ass. Which, if you do, shut your face and post your tits. That's all we're interested in anyway.