Short answer, SMU: It depends. For some people, daily weigh-ins are a sign of disordered or unhelpful thinking. I've had people ask me to hide scales from them, because they knew that nothing good would come of it. For others, it's a part of their process that is at worst neutral, and at best, helpful and informative. Your girlfriend has to know which sort of person she is, because the bottom line is that while it can be entirely innocuous, it can also be a sign of disordered behavior.
As someone whose job depends on keeping people both honest and healthy, it saddens me to see the obsessive and compulsive mentality destroy someone's fitness. Yes. *Some people* can weigh/measure daily and not become disordered. They are the exception and not the rule. Most people become obsessive, and when progress isn't on their timetable, they quit. There's a reason most "weight loss " programs don't encourage daily weighing and measuring. By and large it's counterproductive.
What do you think, then, of channeling that energy towards physical performance? And getting connected with healthy weight loss or performance based recreational groups? Seems like it can only be good thing for someone in this situation, that may or may not be keeping in good health.
I think the most important part is picking up good habits (and dropped bad ones) that you can sustain. Wanting quick results for a specific goal is fine, but health should be the overall goal. If she's exercising every day, then great, but can she keep that up? In my personal experience it's easy to get burned out, especially with something that you don't really love to begin with. Maybe if you encourage her to pick activities that she enjoys (for example, running is boring to me, but running with my dog somehow makes it an enjoyable experience) so that she's more likely to keep up the new found good habit. It's great that you make an effort to exercise with her at least once a week. A: it encourages her to keep up the good work, B: it shows your support for her efforts, C: it gives you a chance to spend quality, constructive time together, and D: it's exercise for you, too. Really, it sounds like you're doing everything you should be. I wouldn't worry about her as long as she's staying on a healthy path towards her goals. Good luck to her!
Thanks for offering your opinions, lets me know that I kinda/sorta might have a shot at understanding the GF. One thing that I did not mention is our geographical and social situation; she is a PhD student, I am a lab tech at her school and both of us are roughly 1 hr away from friends and family due to our jobs. For those who know the area, our job is at Rosalind Franklin University in North Chicago. That means we are in suburban hell and cheap places to join exercise groups are few and far between. We don't live together either, so a majority of the week we only see each other on campus or talk on the phone. I am not overly worried about her going to extreme measures, I am just trying to figure out the best way to keep her attention on the act of working out-not the results. Although I do actively and shamelessly enjoy the results.
A PSA to the ladies who go the old-school route of doing "female upkeep" with a razor and shave gel. + Va-jay-jay = Serious burning.
Whew, I am so glad we have a TiBette Thread now because I have news that is REALLY IMPORTANT. I think I have finally found a hairdresser that understands both me and my hair. With the exception of one that I found in Boston right before I moved here, I haven't ever felt that way. She totally got what I was looking for and what my references were and that you can't simply cut thick curly hair like you would straight hair. It's weird how so many people don't understand that. And she finally, FINALLY, did want I wanted with layers, which is to put them throughout my head and not just the "frame your face" layers so the rest just hangs there. And she thinned it out a little bit so hopefully it won't be too overwhelming this summer. It was also a totally reasonable price. She gave me a blowout, so I'm excited to see what it'll look like curly again and if it'll be as good as I'm imagining it to be. The salon's in Greenpoint, and it was the first time I explored the neighborhood. It was neither as interesting nor as charming as I've been imagining it to be, but I got some blintzes and went to Peter Pan Bakery, whose donuts Tina Fey wants to penetrate. I haven't eaten one yet, but they look and smell amazing. Good day.
Per a post I made in the drunk thread... I purchased a set of vibrating nipple clamps the other day that are, shall we say, less than spectacular. They've got great vibration, but the clamp part is "meh" at best. I don't suppose anyone here has any particular clamps that are out of this world that they'd like to recommend? Or other toys, for that matter? I'm in the market for a new g-spot vibrator - my hipG is nice and all, but it's loud as hell, and I feel like it's time for an upgrade. I was thinking of this.. http://www.arentwenaughty.com/sex-toys-for-women/vibrators/lelo-ina-dual-action-vibe-p2308-a34.aspx
I would seriously consider kicking a small child for a blintz right now. You are a meany pants for reminding me of my unfulfilled NYC food craving. I just realized that I need new bras like yesterday. I don't have a ton of money to spend on my tits...anyone have any specific brand recommendations that aren't too pricey? For reference, I have large C's and nipples that show through everything I wear. I basically need heavy-duty hoisting and something with enough fabric layers over my nipples to prevent the whole world from realizing I'm perpetually cold. Victoria's Secret doesn't last long, in my experience. I'm looking for something that'll hold me up for at least 6 months.
I like Calvin Klein's bras. They aren't as expensive as the name suggests, and they're cute, give good support, last long, and make my boobs like gigantic. In my last bra shopping trip, I discovered a new brand in my very limited selection of bras that come in D: b.tempt'd. It sounds like a clothing line that makes things for strippers, but they're pretty classy. I also have perma-hard nipples, and they've helped with that whole situation without being grotesquely padded. I got both of these at Macy's. Victoria's Secret sucks for anyone above a B.
I get my bras at Nordstrom, I love them and they do great fittings. My go to brand is Chantelle, with Natori being a distant second. They are a little pricier, but long lasting if you treat them right. They go on sale about twice per year, so I always stock up then so the cost is a bit more reasonable. I am a strange size, so Victorias Secret doesn't work for me either, plus they are kind of crappy quality. I have big boobies, so they need some good support, plus I wear a bra 24/7 (minus showers) so comfort is important to me. And a good fitting bra really changes the way that you look in clothes so obviously, that is important as well. I can provide specifics if you want to know which ones I like, but the best is to probably go and have them measure and suggest based on your shape, after all, all C-cups aren't created equal!
How do you guys store your bras? I feel like I'm squishing and distorting them in my underwear drawer.
Mine are all lined up in a drawer, you don't want to bend them or flatten the cups, so I do similar to this
Bras and underthings are meant to be washed by hand and laid flat to dry. This usually extends the life a year or so. I was lectured extensively on this and try to refrain from just throwing everything ion the wash. I have worn Vic's for YEARS, I can't find another brand that fits well. They usually last a year or two, and I am guilty of taking in the old ones and exchanging them for new ones (no receipt). The store never asks questions other than "would you like another one?" I wear a D cup ( they are shrinking!), and I am quite happy with their product. I can't wear cheap bras, they rub me in weird places, the fabric itches or the goddamn underwire pinches. I do pay $50 a bra, but at this point that isn't too bad for comfort and support.
Fruit of the Loom makes great bras. They last longer than the ones at VS, don't stretch out easily, and are thick enough in the cup that there's no see-through. If you feel trashy buying a bra at Wal-Mart, they're pretty inexpensive at Target. My biggest issue with bras is that the straps get twisted up and uncomfortable, but the Fruit of the Loom bras fit comfortably but snugly, so I don't have that problem with them.
I don’t know how well I’m going to do expressing this thought, but here goes… There’s a show on Discovery right now called One Born Every Minute. It’s a one-hour documentary of the maternity ward in some large hospital in the US. It follows women, obviously, in the hours before and during giving birth. I flipped it on for the first time just now and to be honest, I’m kind of horrified. As a disclaimer, I obviously have no children. What is freaking me out, though, is how antiseptic and dissociated this process is for these women. The birth process in North America is something that interests me, and I’ve done some reading/watched some documentaries on it. When I see a show like this about what giving birth in a state-of-the-art hospital is like, it makes me want to run for the hills. What I’m consistently seeing - The women sit there, medicated up to the eyes, posting on Facebook and being told when they’re having a contraction. They are totally removed from their own bodies. - The women are on their backs, not engaged in the process. There is no moving around or awareness that they are part of this process. - There seems to be no community supporting the women. She’s surrounded by a bunch of masked nurses and a husband who has no idea what the fuck he’s supposed to do. - When the labour starts, the woman is wholly unprepared for the pain and freaks out. - The ability to have a baby without intervention is simply unheard of. These women are all medicated. - The chord is cut immediately after birth. Quotes Nurse: Do you feel better now that you’re pushing, or would you rather be more numb? Woman (immediately): More numb! ___ Husband: I hate seeing this. I don’t know what to do for you. ___ I hate to bring up trite reality TV shows, but watching Robyn Brown give birth on Sister Wives made far more sense to me on a visceral level. She was surrounded by her family, calm, engaged in the process. She delivered the baby and the chord wasn’t cut until the placenta also delivered. It seems so much more natural and safer, and wouldn’t you know it? No medical intervention required! This jives with some of the documentaries and reading I’ve done. Ricki Lake produced a movie called The Business of Birth, talking about the birth process in America and how lacking the medical establishment is in this regard. Naomi Wolff had a great book called Misconceptions. Anyway, I guess I wanted to start a discussion about whether or not the women on this board feel that their labours were appropriate, or if you felt that the medical community let you down. Do you guys believe in home births and midwives, or are you all for the hospital and the epidural? Oh, and here's a good one: should men be so actively involved, or is it better if they wait in another room and let the women handle it?
Interesting topic. I'll pipe up, but I don't want to get into the whole "which is better" debate. I think the bottomline is, luckily, most of us have a choice on what our birthplan is/will be. My neighbor had a homebirth in water, the whole nine yards...that worked for her. I gave birth in a way that you basically describe in your observations about births you've seen on TV (medicated, with a bunch of strangers, scared, etc). I think I'm fairly aware of other birth alternatives, and in retrospect, I wouldn't have done it any other way. And I'm basically a hippy at heart. Trying to not place value judgements on your description of "what I'm consistently seeing..", and I won't back this up with data, but I think your observations also reflect where we're at as a society today: medicated, detached from community, detached from our physicality. So a question is, should childbirth be any different than business as usual? If so, by doing so, is it benefiting more the child or the mom? So far in life, I think coming into the world and leaving the world (have you ever seen someone die? Who knew the experience is as sacred as seeing someone born?) are the two most important moments of anyone's life, so maybe childbirth should be treated differently than what is more common these days, in deference to the sacredness of the occasion, if not the healthiness.